Can’t Get Her Out Of My Head

| London, England, UK | Bizarre

(It’s early in the morning and I’m half asleep. I’ve just stood up and turned around after stacking a shelf when I see a young guy rushing towards me.)

Customer: *grabs me in a tight hug and whispers in my ear* “I’m Hulk Hogan and you’re Kylie Minogue. Who am I?”

Customer’s brother: *out of breath after running behind him* “What have I told you about hugging people!”

Me: “Right, then.”

(I laugh and walk into the stockroom where one of my colleagues is working.)

Me: “The weirdest thing just happened–”

Coworker: “Oh, are you Kylie too?”

One More Lonely Girl In The World

| USA | Uncategorized

(This happens a couple weeks before Christmas. The mall has a few gift counters that offer free gift wrappings. An old man buys a couple of Justin Bieber CDs from us.)

Me: “Are these a gift? We offer free gift wrapping services over at–”

Old man: *angrily* “Why do you assume I’m giving it someone?”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. Those CDs are usually more popular with teenage girls.”

Old man: “They’re for me! I do not like this sort of discrimination!”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry.”

(He storms out, nearly tripping over his feet on the way out.)

Me: “You okay, sir?”

Old man: “I can walk! Stop discriminating!”

The Lesser Of Two Musical Evils

| Norwich, Norfolk, UK | Politics

Customer: “Can you help me? It’s my daughter’s birthday and she said she wanted a CD by some band. I can’t remember the name. I have it written down here.”

(She produces a piece of paper. On it is written the name of a popular German rock band. Note that most of this band’s songs are in German, so most of the writing on their CDs is too.)

Me: “Oh, good choice. They’re a great band. We have several of their CDs right over here.”

Customer: “Hold on. All this writing is in another language!”

Me: “Yes, madam, it’s German.”

Customer: “*horrified* “Oh, God! Not this again! This is that Nazi band she’s been listening to! I thought we’d got her out of that phase!”

Me: “Madam, I can assure you this band is not a Nazi band.”

Customer: “But they’re German!”

Me: “Madam, I happen to be a fan of this particular band myself. I can assure you they are not Nazis. One of their songs is even about how they are politically left-wing.”

Customer: *aghast* “Socialists?!”