Righteous Indie-nation

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Uncategorized

(A customer walks over to the first aisle and taps each and every last CD case with his finger while saying either ‘mainstream’ or ‘sell-out’. He proceeds to do this with every single CD in the store, which takes him about 25 minutes. He then walks up to the counter.)

Customer: “What a bunch of mainstreamers you guys are! Don’t you have anything more obscure?”

Me: “We do have a pretty large indie section, which you seemed to have skimmed over.”

Customer: “You call those indie? I’ve heard of every single one of them. They’re all sell-outs.”

Me: “So, what is it that you’re looking for?”

Customer: “How the h*** should I know? If I’ve already heard of it, I wouldn’t buy it.”

Bad Jokes Are Music To Their Ears

| Mountain View, CA, USA | Musical Mayhem, Uncategorized

Customer: “Hey, do you guys carry any mandolins?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry.”

Customer: “How about…” *dramatic pause*Wo-mandolins?”

Me: “No.”

(The customer leaves with a grin on his face.)

Next customer: “Really?”

Watashi Whaaa

| United Kingdom | Language & Words, Musical Mayhem, Top

(I really like Japanese animation and am learning Japanese as a second language so I listen to a lot of Japanese songs.)

Customer: “Excuse me, what kind of music would you recommend? I want to know what CD I should buy.”

Me: “Oh, I don’t think I listen to the kind of music you’d be interested in.”

Customer: “That’s not very helpful. Just tell me what kind of music you like.”

Me: “Well, I listen to a lot of Japanese songs.”

Customer: “I love that song!”

Me: “It’s not just one song. There are a lot of songs in Japanese.”

Customer: “Really? How many.”

Me: “Oh, far too many to count. There are thousands!”

Customer: “Well that’s a bit silly, isn’t it, what’s the point in making songs in a language that no one can understand?”

Me: “A lot of people understand Japanese.”

Customer: “Like who?”

Me: “The people who live in Japan?”

Customer: “You mean Japan’s a real place?! Well, you learn something new every day!”

Split Over Musical (Price) Differences

| Calgary, AB, Canada | Musical Mayhem, Uncategorized

Customer: “Do you have [popular album]?”

Me: “Yep. It’s right over here.”

Customer: “That’s expensive.”

Me: “That’s pretty average”

Customer: “I bet [competitor] is cheaper.”

Me: “I doubt it. We are usually a fair bit cheaper than them.”

Customer: “I don’t know. I bet they are cheaper.”

Me: “I don’t think they will be, but they are right upstairs if you want to take a peek and come back.  You will see that we are cheaper.”

(The customer leaves and comes back 15 minutes later with our competitors bag.)

Me: “Oh, were they cheaper?”

Customer: “No, they were a lot more expensive. You should really stop recommending that place.”

Pay The Price And Face The Music

| Langley, BC, Canada | Books & Reading, Musical Mayhem, Uncategorized

(A customer is placing an order for sheet music over the phone.)

Me: “How may I help you?”

Customer: “I need books.”

Me: “What are you looking for?”

(The customer lists off three more items, all of which need to be ordered).

Me: “I can order those for you. However, the store requires a full deposit on sheet music orders.”

Customer: “Okay. How much is the last book? The Three Sonatas?”

(The Three Sonatas is a collection of various sonatas by a specific composer.)

Me: “$34.95.”

Customer: “I just need one, though.”

Me: “Unfortunately they’re not printed separately. It’s only available in this collection.”

Customer: “It’s too expensive.”

Me: “Then you don’t want me to order it?”

Customer: “I need it.”

Me: “So I’ll order it.”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “No?”

Customer: “I need it. But you give me a discount.”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “You order book. I’ll cut out the music I want, and pay discount.”

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