The Son Of Mondegreen

, | USA | Language & Words, Musical Mayhem

(I am looking for new albums in a music store when I overhear a conversation.)

Customer #1: *singing ‘The Monster,’ a song of Eminem ft. Rihanna* “I’m friends with the monster, the son of my bed.”

Customer #2: “Your lyrics are wrong. It’s ‘that’s under my bed.'”

Customer #1: “Seriously, how can a monster fit under a bed?”

Customer #2: “‘The monster under the bed’ is an expression used by children and the song uses this expression to depict the artist’s struggles in overcoming his demons. And besides, how can a monster be a son of a bed?”

They Should Screen Customers Like This

| St. Louis, MO, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Technology, Theme Of The Month

(We have a touch screen tablet/kiosk in store that allows you to create a playlist for making custom CDs. One day, a man is shouting and punching the screen trying to get it to work. I come over to help him.)

Customer: “This f****** thing is broken. It won’t accept any of the letters when I press them!”

Me: “Please be gentle with the device. I’ll show you how easy it is to use.”

(I show him, and after a few minutes he tries again, pressing the space between the letters instead of any actual letters.)

Customer: “Your cheap-a** tablet is the reason I can’t figure it out!”

(I just stand there letting him vent, all while finishing his list of songs. When it is done he wants to enter his name, and goes back to jamming the screen with his finger and cursing loudly.)

Me: “I will finish it for you. The total will be [total].

Customer: “That’s way too expensive! Never mind.”

(The customer then just simply walks away. I turn around to see my coworkers laughing at me. Great days in retail!)

Waxing Lyrical On The Lyrics

| Seattle, WA, USA | Awesome Customers, Language & Words, Musical Mayhem

Elderly Customer: “I’m trying to learn this song. Do you have music for ‘Your Mind Is On Vacation And Your Mouth Is Workin’ Overtime’?”

Me: “No, but now I want to learn it, too!”

Elderly Customer: “No s***, right?!”