Me: “Thank you for calling [Name of Dealership].”
Caller: “Can I speak to the body parts department?”
Me: “Do you mean the body shop?”
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(A customer walks over to the first aisle and taps each and every last CD case with his finger while saying either ‘mainstream’ or ‘sell-out’. He proceeds to do this with every single CD in the store, which takes him about 25 minutes. He then walks up to the counter.)
Customer: “What a bunch of mainstreamers you guys are! Don’t you have anything more obscure?”
Me: “We do have a pretty large indie section, which you seemed to have skimmed over.”
Customer: “You call those indie? I’ve heard of every single one of them. They’re all sell-outs.”
Me: “So, what is it that you’re looking for?”
Customer: “How the h*** should I know? If I’ve already heard of it, I wouldn’t buy it.”
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Customer: “Hey, do you guys carry any mandolins?”
Me: “No, I’m sorry.”
Customer: “How about…” *dramatic pause* “Wo-mandolins?”
Me: “No.”
(The customer leaves with a grin on his face.)
Next Customer: “Really?”
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(I really like Japanese animation and am learning Japanese as a second language so I listen to a lot of Japanese songs.)
Customer: “Excuse me, what kind of music would you recommend? I want to know what CD I should buy.”
Me: “Oh, I don’t think I listen to the kind of music you’d be interested in.”
Customer: “That’s not very helpful. Just tell me what kind of music you like.”
Me: “Well, I listen to a lot of Japanese songs.”
Customer: “I love that song!”
Me: “It’s not just one song. There are a lot of songs in Japanese.”
Customer: “Really? How many.”
Me: “Oh, far too many to count. There are thousands!”
Customer: “Well, that’s a bit silly, isn’t it? What’s the point in making songs in a language that no one can understand?”
Me: “A lot of people understand Japanese.”
Customer: “Like who?”
Me: “The people who live in Japan?”
Customer: “You mean Japan’s a real place?! Well, you learn something new every day!”
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Customer: “Do you have [Popular Album]?”
Me: “Yep. It’s right over here.”
Customer: “That’s expensive.”
Me: “That’s pretty average”
Customer: “I bet [Competitor] is cheaper.”
Me: “I doubt it. We are usually a fair bit cheaper than they are.”
Customer: “I don’t know. I bet they are cheaper.”
Me: “I don’t think they will be, but they are right upstairs if you want to take a peek and come back. You will see that we are cheaper.”
(The customer leaves and comes back fifteen minutes later with our competitor’s bag.)
Me: “Oh, were they cheaper?”
Customer: “No, they were a lot more expensive. You should really stop recommending that place.”
