(I work at a guitar store as the business manager, which mostly means I keep track of the money and sign people up for lessons with our music school. Although I am the only female employee of the store, my coworkers lovingly call me “Tech Support” as I seem to be the only one that is ever able to fix the printers, computers, and cash registers whenever they aren’t working properly.)

Me: *read over my assigned list of tasks for the day from my boss, notice a weird assignment, and call my boss*

Me: “I have a question about one of my tasks for today.”

Boss: “Which one?”

Me: “The one where you ask me to ‘Fix Google.’”

Boss: “Our Google Spreadsheets aren’t working correctly right now. When I open one it opens eight additional tabs in my browser. When [Coworker] opens one it freezes and then shuts down his browser. I need you to fix it, since you’re our Tech Support.”

Me: “I appreciate your faith in my technical abilities, but everything you’re listing is handled through Google directly, and since I don’t work for Google…”

Boss: “Yeah but I’m sure you can figure it out.”

Me: *face-palm*

(Long story short, I spent over an hour on the phone with a Google Help Desk person trying to figure out why this kept happening. Turns out my boss kept double clicking the link impatiently while waiting for it to load, causing 8 tabs to open of the same spreadsheet. As for my coworker, it’s difficult for a spreadsheet to load when you have 18 other tabs currently open.)

(I work in a music store that has a relaxed uniform — whatever pants we want and a shirt that’s either plain or music related. The day this happens, I am wearing a Kinks tee.)

Me: “Can I help you with anything, sir?”

Customer: “No, thanks…” *notices my shirt and makes a face* “Ugh. I hate the Kinks!”

Me: “Well, to each their own!”

Customer: “No! They are terrible! Why don’t you listen to anyone good, like the Rolling Stones or the Beatles?”

Me: “I listen to them as well! Funny, I think most would say the Beatles and Kinks sound alike.”

Customer: “Now you’re just trying to make me mad! The customer is always right!”

(At this point, I am obviously uncomfortable and looking for a way to escape. Luckily a regular had been near us the entire exchange, and butts in.)

Regular: “You can’t be right about opinions. Everyone has one, just like everyone has an a**hole. But you shouldn’t force either down people’s throat!”

Customer: *red in the face and sputtering* “What do you know anyway?! I hope you’re buying decent music, unlike this little tramp!”

(Our regular smiled and displayed a few albums, one of which was a Kinks album! I burst out laughing without meaning to, and the rude customer finally left.)

Customer: “What is the difference between this pack of 3 clarinet reeds (size 1.5) and this box of 10 clarinet reeds (size 1.5)?”

Me: “Seven reeds.”

(This happens to my coworker. I work in a shop that sells instruments. A customer actually comes into our shop and says the following:)

Customer: “I have a $50 gift card to Amazon and I’d like to use that to buy an instrument on Amazon. Can you tell me what brand of instrument I should buy?”

Coworker: *facepalm*

(I’m 11, doing inventory in a music store that belongs to a friend of the family. I’m working with a friend going over individual sheet music.)

Friend: *pulls out Jailhouse Rock*

Me: *pulls out Schoolhouse Rock*

Both: “Same thing.”