Unfiltered Story #196533

, , , | Unfiltered | June 14, 2020

[Important notes: It was the weekend so the only people working were myself and an elderly volunteer I’ll call ‘N’, who basically hangs around being a delight and informing patrons how to go through the museum. This patron was a woman maybe in her 30s, leather jacket, tight jeans, sunglasses, rode a motorcycle up to the museum, very cheerful]

Patron: [As I’m getting her her ticket] Yeah, so I’m just in town to check out the Catholic schools. I’m thinking of sending my kids.

Me: Oh, that’s cool. Unfortunately I don’t know much about them, so I can’t help.

Patron: You’re not Catholic? What denomination are you?

Me: Oh, uh, I’m actually Jewish.

Patron: You’re /Jewish/? I’ve never met a Jew in my life. Do you mind if I ask some questions?

Me: [Trying to make light and also realizing that I don’t have a good excuse to send her on her way] Oh, suuuuuure, but uh, I don’t know how much help I can be, I’m not very traditional.

Patron: Oh, that’s ok! So, is it true you /don’t believe in Jesus/?

[And then we have a fifteen minute conversation where I patiently try to explain the philosophy of Judaism to someone who aggressively does not actually want to learn to philosophy of Judaism and only want to tell me how wrong I am]

[Until N comes in to see what’s going on]

Me: N. HI. WHY DON’T YOU TELL OUR GUEST HOW TO GO THROUGH.

[N explains, Patron leaves, I bang my head on the counter]

N: That’s why I /never/ talk religion in public. But my Jewish friends taught me a good joke. Do you want to hear it?

[She told me. It was really good. We traded Jewish jokes for the rest of the day. The patron left pleased (I guess????)]

They Know How Movie Theaters Work, Right?

, , | Right | May 21, 2020

At the museum, we have the option to “add on” to your general admission different special or travelling exhibits and also 3D movies.

Client: “Hi! I’d like to see the 3D movie with myself and the kids here.”

Me: “Okay, sure! We have it playing at [times].”

Client: “Oh… You mean the movie has specific starting times? How am I supposed to plan on that with my kids?!”

Uh… no! You’re totally right! This is the magic movie theater, where movies start whenever it’s convenient for you!

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Not The Whale Of A Time They Were Expecting

, , , | Right | May 21, 2020

Our museum hosts a special exhibit about whales.

Client: “We need a refund! Your whale exhibit was not at all what was advertised!”

Me: “Oh! I’m very sorry about that. Could you tell us please what the problem was so we can pass it to our management?”

Client: “It was supposed to be a whale exhibit and there are no whales!”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t understand. The exhibit is about whales, and we have a full-sized real whale skeleton mounted on display.”

Client: “NO! If you’re gonna call it a whale exhibit, we expected to see real whales! We came all the way from [Place] expecting to see one!”

So, after this happened several times, we realized that people were coming in somehow confused about the difference between a museum and SeaWorld, expecting to see a LIVE WHALE on the fourth floor of a historic building.

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Unfiltered Story #194429

, , , | Unfiltered | May 19, 2020

I work in an art museum and a man entered the gallery I was in, which is just past the ticket desk. A security guard came in a few seconds later.

Guard: Excuse me sir, you need to buy a ticket.
Man: A ticket? For what?
Guard: For the museum.
Man: What?! This isn’t a museum.
Guard: Yes it is and you need to buy a ticket to be in here.
Man: No it’s not and I don’t need a ticket.
Guard: Yes you do.
Man: No I don’t.
(They proceed to stare at each other for 15 seconds)
Man: Well I’ve never needed a ticket before. I just pop in for a bit to see something real quick and then I leave. It’s always been free.
Guard: Sir, it may have been free at one time but that was decades ago. Now you can buy a ticket or you can leave.
Man: Fine. But I don’t see why I should have to buy a ticket.

They both walked out and I watched the guard escort him towards the exit. Then the guy took off down a hall, the guard sighed, shook her head and told another guard to head after him since she couldn’t leave her area. No clue if they eventually found him and forced him to leave.

Unfiltered Story #193987

, | Unfiltered | May 14, 2020

(The museum I work at has a motion simulator that guests have to pay to ride. Some people don’t quite understand how it works, but this is the most unique question I have been asked.)

Guest: “I have a question about the motion simulator.”

Me: “Okay?”

Guest: “Do all the seats move?”

Me: “…”