Meet The Obvious Family

, , | Right | March 21, 2019

(I work in a museum selling admission tickets. A man on his own approaches my desk to pay for his ticket.)

Me: “Hello, welcome to [Museum]!”

Customer: *silent*

(Usually customers will tell us straight away how many tickets they need and which price bracket everyone in the group comes under, but this guy is determined not to speak so I prompt him.)

Me: “How many tickets would you like today?”

Customer: *rolling his eyes* “A family pass, of course. I’m OBVIOUSLY not here alone, am I?! My wife and children are just in the bathroom.”

(Once again, he was completely on his own at the admission desk. I guess he thought I had X-ray vision and could see through solid walls to see who was accompanying him?)

 Related:
Meet The Camouflage Family
Meet The Theoretical Family
Meet The Blunt Family

Not Watching The Projectiles Is Actually Even Less Safe

, , , | Right | March 1, 2019

(I work in an open-air museum. During the summer, we always have a visit from a British living history society, who bring reconstructions of Roman artillery pieces with them, which they actually use for demonstrations. However, most people don’t seem to understand how dangerous these things can be if used incorrectly. Every day, when doing such a demonstration, we have to get all visitors to the safe side of the field where the demonstration is being held. And every day, we have the same discussion with at least one person:)

Me: “Would you all go to the far side of the field, please? Just for your own safety!”

Visitor: “Oh, I’m not going to watch the demonstration.”

Me: “You don’t need to watch it. You just have to get out of this area, because otherwise you might get killed by a projectile.”

(Not to mention all the indignant faces people make when you tell them to get out of the danger zone.)

They Got A Little Lost…

, , , , | Right | February 21, 2019

(I volunteer at a children’s museum in Florida that has an airboat simulator. The ride has about an eight-minute wait, so I like to talk to the kids in line about the Everglades to make it feel shorter.)

Me: “Okay, can anyone name an animal that lives in the Everglades?”

Kids: “Alligator!”

Me: “Besides alligators.”

Kids: “Uh… birds! Snakes!”

Me: “Could you be more specific?”

(Right behind them is a wall with pictures and names of over a dozen Everglades animals.)

Little Girl: “Hippopotamus!”

Banking On Them Getting To That Part Of The Fine Print

, , , , , , | Right | February 15, 2019

(I work at the admissions desk of a museum, selling entry tickets. It is an extremely busy day as it is a public holiday and the weather is nice. Even with every till open and as many staff as possible trying to get people through the doors, the waiting time for the visitors is still around an hour and a half. A small family approaches my desk to pay for their tickets.)

Me: “Hello, I’m sorry about the wait today.”

Customer: “I want to use this two-for-one voucher.”

Me: “Oh, I’m so sorry, but unfortunately we can’t accept two-for-one vouchers on bank holidays.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “We’re unable to accept that voucher today, I’m afraid.”

Customer: “You mean to tell me that we’ve stood in this queue for two hours, and now you’re going to tell me that I can’t even use my voucher?!”

Me: “I’m very sorry about the wait; we’re extremely busy today. But it does state clearly at the bottom of the voucher that it cannot be used on bank holidays.”

Customer: “Are you stupid?! Do you honestly think that I would have stood in this queue for hours and hours and not even bothered to read this? It doesn’t say anywhere on this voucher that it can’t be used today, nowhere!”

Me: “It does say at the bottom—“

Customer: “No, it does not! I think your attitude is appalling. You’re just trying to con me out of a deal! I think you’re just trying to scam people and pocket the difference! To prove it to you, I am going to stand here and read the contents of this voucher out loud, so you’ll hear it doesn’t state that anywhere, and then I want to speak to your manager about your attitude!”

(I resisted the urge to point out that I do not work on commission and am certainly not a thief, and patiently stood there as she loudly read the entire contents of the voucher to me. At this point, she’d raised her voice enough to attract the attention of other customers in the queue. She read the spiel about how the voucher couldn’t be used with any other offer and so on, all neatly laid out in bullet points, in a large enough font… until she reached the BOLDED bullet point about the voucher not being accepted on bank holidays and abruptly stopped talking. She refused to even look at me as she handed her purse to her husband and walked away, leaving him and their very embarrassed-looking children to purchase their tickets.)

Piercing Observation, Part 6

, , , , | Right | January 27, 2019

(Not all regulars are good customers. We have one who comes in twice a week and seems to pick someone each day to try to aggravate. Yesterday was the coworker involved in this story. I’m the receptionist, and today it is my turn! I am thirty.)

Me: “Bora da; good morning.”

Customer: “You’ve got something on your nose.”

Me: *wiping my nose* “Oh, it’s probably pen; I get it everywhere.”

Customer: “It’s purple and sticking out!”

(Realising she is talking about my nose piercing, I know exactly what is coming.)

Me: “Haha, that just my piercing…”

Customer: “Ugh. I don’t know why you have something like that in your face.”

Me: “I have a couple of piercings. This one is actually my favourite.”

Customer: *making faces* ”Ooh, I think they are disgusting. I don’t understand permanently ruining your face.”

Me: “Actually, piercings heal over if—“

Customer: “Young girls like you don’t need it. It’s ugly. I’ll never understand. Never understand.”

Me: “It’s all personal choice. I like them so have them. You don’t like them, so don’t—“

(At this point my co-worker had come to the front desk to listen to what’s being said. The customer interrupts and starts gesturing at her)

Customer: *to [Coworker]* “You’ll understand. It’s a generational thing. Piercings and tattoos are disgusting!”

Coworker: “My daughter just got her nose pierced, I think she looks beautiful.”

Customer: “I don’t understand why you would allow that. Ugh, it’s horrible.”

Coworker: “I have tattoos and piercings, too.”

Customer: “WHAT! You?!”

Coworker: “Oh, yeah! From the neck down! I even have one on my foot.”

Customer: *again making disgusted expressions* “What is it?”

Coworker: “That one is very meaningful actually. My daughter died when she was young and it’s in her memory.”

Customer: “Ugh! You don’t need that. You carry her memory in your heart.”

Me & Coworker: *together* “And on her foot!”

(At this point [Customer] decided it was a losing the battle and left. Oh, well. See you next week, lovely, lovely regular!)

Related:
Piercing Observation, Part 3
Piercing Observation, Part 4
Piercing Observation, Part 5