Tobaccosaurus

| St. Louis, MO, USA | Family & Kids, History, Pets & Animals, Religion

(I work as an educator in a science museum in St. Louis. One of the activities in my section of the museum involved putting together the cast of a Dromaeosaurus skeleton.)

Eight-Year-Old Boy: “I know why this dinosaur died.”

Me: “You do?”

Eight-Year-Old Boy: “He was a smoker.”

(Later that day, a middle school group is passing by…)

Seventh-Grade Girl: *addressing her peers* “This dinosaur died because he didn’t believe in Jesus.”

A Titanic Lie

| Albuquerque, NM, USA | History, Movies & TV, Tourists/Travel

(In 2012, I am working at the end of the Titanic exhibit next to the wall of names of those who lost their lives. Next to the wall, is a sign saying that Jack and Rose from the movie are fictional characters, and were not actually present on the ship.)

Patron #1: “Did you know that Jack and Rose were real live people?”

Patron #2: “Oh, wow! I didn’t know they actually existed!”

Patron #1: “Oh, yeah! But the only reason they’re not on any lists is because Jack won his ticket and Rose changed her name!”

Me: “Ladies, if you’ll notice the sign next to the wall of the lost, you’ll see that they were actually fictional characters that never existed.”

Patron #1: “What? You lie! THEIR LOVE WAS REAL AND SO WERE THEY!” *storms out of the exhibit*

Physically Hilarious

| PA, USA | Health & Body, Math & Science

(I work at a science museum, running interactive exhibits that demonstrate scientific principles, although mostly it’s just fun and games. I’m currently running an exhibit that consists of a unicycle on a track 20 feet in the air; it’s held steady by a 300-pound weight underneath it, and rides simply like a bike with an elaborate seat belt. The bike does wobble, and we’re told to warn people of that.)

Me: “Once you put your feet on those peddles, you will feel the bike sway. That’s alright; it’s supposed to happen. With the weight underneath you, there’s no possible way you’ll fall.”

Guests: “Are you sure?”

Me: “I’m sure. If you fall, I’m going to be way more concerned about the laws of physics breaking.”

(Surprisingly, not many guests think I’m funny.)