Now Exhibiting Real Jobs

, , , | Right | November 2, 2020

I work in a museum and I was specifically hired to work in a special temporary exhibit that sells extra tickets. I have just finished selling tickets to this guest and her children.

Guest: “So, how long is this exhibit going to be here?”

Me: “Honestly, I don’t know. Originally, I was only hired to work for three months because that’s how long the exhibit was supposed to last. But it’s been almost a year now and the exhibit’s still here, and so am I!”

Guest: “Oh, that’s wonderful! And it’s not even a real job!”

Cut to dozens of flashbacks of ten-plus-hour shifts on my feet as I rolled my eyes and she walked away.

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And On The Seventh Day, We All Went To The Museum

, , , , , | Right | October 26, 2020

I work in my museum’s planetarium. A group of three older men dressed in their Sunday best has just finished buying tickets.

Coworker: “A planetarium show is about to start if you’d like to see it.”

They balk a bit at the suggestion but, noting that it’s included in admission, ultimately come inside. It’s then that I notice the very large wooden crosses around their necks. Considering the show that’s about to air is about the formation of the solar system, the Earth, and the early evolution of life, I’m a bit skeptical of how this is going to play out.

Fortunately, nothing happens during the show. As it ends, I open the doors for the customers and wait just outside to thank them for visiting and answer any questions. Two of the men appear almost immediately and rush right past me and… out of the museum. The third, and seemingly oldest based on his cane, is one of the last to leave and approaches me as he exits.

Guest: “That was a great show! It was so cool!”

Me: *Surprised* “Oh, wow, thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed it!”

Guest: “I didn’t know a lot of that stuff. Say, what else is in this museum, anyway?”

Me: “Well, we have an extensive collection of dinosaur fossils and paleontology-related exhibits, as well as a hall about the more modern history of the region.”

Guest: “That sounds neat! I’m going to go check it out. Thank you so much!”

Me: “No, thank you!”

Several hours later, I saw him chatting up the front desk telling them what a wonderful time he had. Whether he agrees with the museum’s point of view or not, I’m just glad he had a good time!


This story is part of our Feel Good roundup for October 2020!

Read the next Feel Good roundup story!

Read the Feel Good roundup for October 2020!

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The Queen Of Hearts Goes To The Museum

, , , | Right | October 23, 2020

I work at the front desk of a museum that is currently showing an exhibit about Leonardo DaVinci with a large portion of the exhibit dedicated to the Mona Lisa. This particular morning, an older woman in a floppy sun hat and a neck brace comes up to the counter.

Lady: “One senior for DaVinci, please.”

Me: “Absolutely. Would you like to go in at the soonest entry time?”

Lady: “Yes, please. Have you seen it yet?”

Me: “Oh, yes, at least four times already.”

Lady: “I was here yesterday, but it’s just like chocolate! I had to come back and see it again! I know it’s all replicas, but I think your Mona Lisa is even more wonderful than the real one! Oh, but can you believe someone would throw a rock at it? Or that someone would throw acid on it! Oh, thank goodness it only got on the bottom. But people like that, they ought to have their heads cut off! Cut off their heads! You know how people used to do that, cut people’s heads off? That’s what they ought to do: cut their heads off!”

Me: *Pause* “All right, that’ll be eight dollars. Can I get your zip code?”

Lady: “Oh, I don’t know anything dear.”

Me: “…”

Lady: “…”

I hit the “skip” option in the zip code field and begin handing her back her change.

Me: “Okay, two dollars is your change.”

Lady: “Oh, you keep that, dear. Go buy yourself an ice cream cone.”

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Before “Bohemian Rhapsody,” Before “Rocket Man,” There Was… This Guy!

, , , , | Right | October 20, 2020

I am working in a museum that currently features an exhibit of a deceased rock star who was known for his elaborate costumes. My station is by a photo op which includes some costume pieces similar to ones in the exhibit that people can wear for pictures. I’ve just offered them to a couple. The woman takes one piece happily, but the man gives me a skeptical look and says:

Man: “Do you have any clothes for men?”

Me: *Pause* “[Rock Star] was a man. These are things he wore. They are men’s clothes.”

He stood there with his mouth open for a moment. Then he put on a sequined jacket and took a picture.

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The Tourism Business Is A Battlefield

, , , | Right | October 14, 2020

I work weekends in a heritage centre in a small town. From Monday to Friday, we open from 9:30 to 5:00, but on weekends, we open at 12:00. There is a man waiting in the car park when my coworker and I arrive at about 11:50. Shortly after, a woman and a teenage girl arrive and sit down outside. By this stage, we have been open for five minutes and none of them have come in. The woman then opens the door and asks if we are open, I tell her that we are and the three of them come in.

Me: “Good morning, how are you?”

Man: “Is the director or manager here?”

Me: “I’m afraid not. Is there something I can help with?”

Man: “I’m absolutely furious!”

Me: “I’m sorry, why?”

Man: “We got here at 10:30 expecting the place to be open and then I found you don’t open until 12:00 on Saturday!”

Me: “Well, yes. Our opening hours on weekends are 12:00 to 5:00. It’s posted on our website and our flyers. Did you see it advertised somewhere that we open earlier?”

Man: “No, I just saw somewhere that you open at 9:30 so I presumed it was the same every day. We’ve come a long way and spent a lot of money; this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for us! We had so many plans for today and now, because of this, our day is ruined! We want to go to [Nearby Battlefield] and we have to walk there because we haven’t hired a car!”

He then went on to say that attractions in his country had different opening hours, and how would I feel if I spent money going to an attraction only to find it closed?

Meanwhile, his wife and daughter were standing awkwardly to one side. Despite claiming to be in a huge hurry, he then spent about ten minutes looking at the books we had for sale. His wife, who seemed to be a bit out of it on some sort of medication, then went on to explain that the political situation in their home country was very tense at the moment and people were being killed.

When they left, the husband completely ignored me; he actually had his head turned the other way. I don’t know why they waited in the car park for an hour and a half until we opened; they could have gone to the battlefield and been back soon after we opened!

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