I work as a gallery attendant in a museum where my job is to talk to people about artworks in the galleries. We have this piece by the artist Joan Jonas — a lady who’s currently in her eighties — on display. Most people don’t recognize her name because she did her most famous works in the 1960s, so anyone too young to remember doesn’t often know her.

This guy who looks to be in his thirties and his mother come over.

Me: “This is done in conjunction with the artist Joan Jonas.”

Guy: “Joe Jonas? Isn’t he really popular right now?”

Me: “No, not Joe, Joan Jonas. She was part of the Fluxus movement but still does art now.”

Guy: “Yeah, I’ve heard of him. I don’t know much of his work but I hear a lot about him.”

I want to scream at this idiot.

Me: “She has been around for quite some time and currently mentors this other artist, so they worked together on this. She makes some really amazing pieces.”

He then ignored me completely, went over to read the sign on the wall, and proceeded to explain the meaning behind the piece to his mother, getting absolutely every single thing wrong.

This wasn’t one of those pieces where the artist wanted everything to be open to interpretation; it had a very strong sociopolitical message and that’s why the artists wanted us there to explain it.

I just let the guy keep babbling about nonsense because he was clearly one of those geniuses who knows more about artworks his first time looking at them than the people who were literally trained by the artists themselves.

Related:
Artfully Setting Himself Up For Failure

I work at a museum and we have a ride that you can pay extra for. A man walks up to my coworker at the ticketing desk with three young boys.

Guest: “Can we do the ride?”

Coworker: “Sure! You can buy tickets from me right here. So, is it just three children or are you riding, as well?”

Guest: “Just the three kids.”

Coworker: “All right.”

My coworker punches the order into the computer.

Coworker: “Looks like your total is twenty-one.”

Guest: “Twenty-one what?”

Coworker: *blinks* “Dollars?”

The guest left.

I work at a museum with a ride you can pay extra for. However, the line takes a very long time to get through, so when it’s busy, we have to stop selling tickets quite a while before closing. The exhibit has an entrance and an exit door. I go to put out the closed sign and shut the entry door. A little girl sees me do this.

Girl: “Are you guys closed?”

Me: “Sorry, we are.”

Another girl, who I assume is her sister, speaks up.

Other Girl: “Look, the exit door is still open!”

Three girls and their dad sprint over to the exit door before I can close it and run up to the ticketing desk where my coworker is cleaning up.

Dad: “Hi. We’d like to buy three tickets for the ride.”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, but we’re closed.”

Dad: “But the museum doesn’t close until five!”

Coworker: “Yes, but there are still lots of people in line, and by the time we get to all of them, it will be five.”

Dad: “So, if we wait until the end of the line is done and it’s not five yet, can we go?”

Coworker: “No, I’ve already shut down the card reader and turned in my cash.”

Dad: “Okay.”

The family sits in the waiting area for the whole thirty or forty minutes it takes to get through the line. Once the last group rides, it’s a couple of minutes past five.

Dad: “Cool, so can we ride now?”

Coworker: “No, we’re still closed.”

Dad: “But we just waited here for thirty minutes!”

I work at a museum. We recently installed a virtual reality exhibit guests can pay extra to try. Two guests walk in.

Me: “Hello! Let me know if you guys have questions or want to buy tickets.”

They do not acknowledge me and keep walking toward the arcade setup.

Coworker: “Hello! Let me know if you guys have questions.”

They do not acknowledge him, either, walk straight into an arcade bay, and start fiddling with the equipment. 

Coworker: “Hey, did you all want to buy tickets?”

Guest: “You have to buy tickets? I wish we’d known that!”

I work at a museum hosting an exhibit about Leonardo Da Vinci.

Guest: *To my coworker* “Leo Da Vinci, huh? That guy still around?”

Coworker: “I don’t think so.”