I am working in a museum that currently features an exhibit of a deceased rock star who was known for his elaborate costumes. My station is by a photo op which includes some costume pieces similar to ones in the exhibit that people can wear for pictures. I’ve just offered them to a couple. The woman takes one piece happily, but the man gives me a skeptical look and says:

Man: “Do you have any clothes for men?”

Me: *Pause* “[Rock Star] was a man. These are things he wore. They are men’s clothes.”

He stood there with his mouth open for a moment. Then he put on a sequined jacket and took a picture.

I work weekends in a heritage centre in a small town. From Monday to Friday, we open from 9:30 to 5:00, but on weekends, we open at 12:00. There is a man waiting in the car park when my coworker and I arrive at about 11:50. Shortly after, a woman and a teenage girl arrive and sit down outside. By this stage, we have been open for five minutes and none of them have come in. The woman then opens the door and asks if we are open, I tell her that we are and the three of them come in.

Me: “Good morning, how are you?”

Man: “Is the director or manager here?”

Me: “I’m afraid not. Is there something I can help with?”

Man: “I’m absolutely furious!”

Me: “I’m sorry, why?”

Man: “We got here at 10:30 expecting the place to be open and then I found you don’t open until 12:00 on Saturday!”

Me: “Well, yes. Our opening hours on weekends are 12:00 to 5:00. It’s posted on our website and our flyers. Did you see it advertised somewhere that we open earlier?”

Man: “No, I just saw somewhere that you open at 9:30 so I presumed it was the same every day. We’ve come a long way and spent a lot of money; this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for us! We had so many plans for today and now, because of this, our day is ruined! We want to go to [Nearby Battlefield] and we have to walk there because we haven’t hired a car!”

He then went on to say that attractions in his country had different opening hours, and how would I feel if I spent money going to an attraction only to find it closed?

Meanwhile, his wife and daughter were standing awkwardly to one side. Despite claiming to be in a huge hurry, he then spent about ten minutes looking at the books we had for sale. His wife, who seemed to be a bit out of it on some sort of medication, then went on to explain that the political situation in their home country was very tense at the moment and people were being killed.

When they left, the husband completely ignored me; he actually had his head turned the other way. I don’t know why they waited in the car park for an hour and a half until we opened; they could have gone to the battlefield and been back soon after we opened!

I work at an open-air museum set up like a small townsite with a few houses surrounding it, which we call the farmsteads. The area is quite big so we provide scooters at reception for anyone who has difficulties walking.

Despite reception being located just in front of the townsite, most visitors end up going around the building and straight into the townsite.

A young and fit-looking woman returns from the townsite and arrives at reception.

Customer: “How come I keep seeing all these people on scooters? No one gave me a scooter when I came in!”

Receptionist: “We only provide scooters to anyone with a disability or trouble walking.”

Customer: “But I’m seven months pregnant! I want to see the manager!”

She does not appear to be more than two months pregnant, if at all.

Receptionist: “I’m sorry. If I had known, or if you had told me, I would have set one up for you once you came to reception before entering the site.”

Customer: “I didn’t come here when I arrived. I just walked around.”

Receptionist: “…”

I work in a children’s museum that has a large event every year that involves snow.

Me: “Hi, thanks for calling [Museum]; how can I help you?”

Customer: “What time is the snow event open tomorrow?”

Me: “Ten to five every day; do you have any other questions?”

Customer: “Is it real snow?”

Me: “Yes, we have real snow.”

Customer: “Tell me, is it wet? Is it really cold, too?”

Me: “Have you ever visited anywhere where it snows? Big Bear or another destination like that?”

Customer: “Yes, but that wasn’t real snow!”

Related:
Snow Way They’re That Dumb

I work at a museum with a planetarium, which is one of the few things you have to pay extra for.

Guest: “Do you have to pay extra for planetarium tickets?”

Me: “Yes, you do. If you’re interested, you can buy them up here at the desk.”

Guest: “But I already bought planetarium tickets!”