It’s A Ruff Life In The Slums

| Mequon, WI, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Hey, what’s going on?!”

Me: “Excuse me, is something wrong?”

Customer: “Yeah, we went to go see Slumdog Millionaire with my kid and the first scene has all this violence! We thought it was about a dog!”

Me: “I can assure you, it’s not about that. It’s also R-rated. Did you see the ratings on our board?”

Customer: “No one reads those! I want a refund!”

Fresh Popcorn, Stale Mind

| Iowa, USA | Food & Drink

(We clean the popcorn machines at the movie theater I work at every night. We leave any extra popcorn in the first machine we cleaned, and pop fresh popcorn the next morning. A customer walks up to register as I’m emptying the kettle.)

Customer: “Can I get a small popcorn?”

Me: “Sure.”

(I turn to the machine with fresh popcorn to get her order when she stops me.)

Customer: “I don’t want the stale popcorn. I want the fresh stuff from today.”

Me: “Ma’am this popcorn was just popped; you watched me empty the
kettle.”

Customer: “Don’t lie to me. I know you’re just lazy and don’t want to walk the five extra feet to get me fresh popcorn.”

(I walk over to the machine with the old stale popcorn, fill her bag, and ring her up.)

Me: “Is there anything else I can get for you today, ma’am?”

Customer: *takes a bite of her day-old popcorn* “See, now, this is fresh popcorn! You’re lucky I’m not going to talk to your manager for lying to me and trying not to do your job.”

The World Would Run Out Of Helium

| Des Moines, IA, USA | Uncategorized

(A customer has just finished purchasing tickets to Alvin and the Chipmunks 3.)

Customer: “Is this a movie or a live performance?”