Customer: *walks up to ticket booth* “What is The Alamo about?
Employee: “The Alamo, ma’am. It’s the mission building the Texans had to protect when the Mexican army invaded during the Battle of the Alamo.”
Customer: “Oh my gosh! We’re at war with Mexico?!”
(I am an usher ripping tickets at the podium and directing customers to their cinema.)
Me: “You’re in cinema number four. It’s up the stairs to your left.”
Patron: “Which way?”
Me: “Left, and then go up the stairs.”
Patron: “Which way’s left?”
Me: “That way.” *points*
Patron: “Great, thanks!”
(I work in the box office of a movie theater. A teenage girl comes up and asks me about Angelina Jolie’s new movie.)
Me: “Hello, welcome to [theater]. What can I get for you?”
Customer: “What’s the movie Salt about?”
Me: “Well, it’s got Angelina Jolie in it and it’s about espionage.
(A very confused look crosses the girl’s face while she processes what I’ve said for several seconds. She’s clearly hung up on the word “espionage”.)
Customer: “Oh… so it’s in Spanish?”
(At the supermarket where I work, we have a store rewards card we can scan if the customer forgets theirs or doesn’t have one.)
Me: “Do you have your bonus card?”
Customer: “No. Could I use the store card, please?”
Me: “Surely.”
Customer: “Don’t call me Shirley!” *laughs* “I’ve waited for years to make that joke!”
Me: “I’m glad I could help you live out that fantasy!”
(At our movie theater, “Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close” is playing. A 70- or 80-year-old woman approaches.)
Me: “Hi, how may I help you?”
Customer: “I’d like a ticket to that new movie.”
Me: “No problem. What movie are you looking for, ma’am?”
Customer: “That new one. You know, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Nasty.”
