Shh, The Neighbors Will Hear

| Michigan, USA | Right | April 6, 2012

(At our movie theater, “Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close” is playing. A 70- or 80-year-old woman approaches.)

Me: “Hi, how may I help you?”

Customer: “I’d like a ticket to that new movie.”

Me: “No problem. What movie are you looking for, ma’am?”

Customer: “That new one. You know, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Nasty.”

Questionable Questioning

| England, UK | Right | April 4, 2012

(I am in the concessions stand selling nachos.)

Me: “Do you want jalapeños?”

Customer: “Yes! Why is jalapeños pronounced like it has an ‘h’ in the beginning?”

Me: “I believe it’s a Spanish word.”

Customer: *indignant* “Well, I don’t really care.”

Weekend Roundup: Prank You Very Much

, , , , | Not Always Right | Right | April 1, 2012

Prank You Very Much! Happy April Fools’ Day, readers! This week, we share five stories that show the foolish hazards of pulling a fast one!

  1. Impractical Jokes:
    Guys, take note: a fake stabbing to freak out your wife might result in a real stabbing—by your wife!
  2. Bohemian Nobody:
    Customer, oo-oo-oo-ooh // Didn’t mean to make you cry // If you’re not back again this time tomorrow // Go away, go away // Your pranks don’t really matter…
  3. Prankin’ Like It’s 1929:
    This elderly caller’s prank is probably older than your grandparents, but he proves laughter IS the best medicine—especially when it’s at your expense!
  4. Your Prank Got Spanked, Part 2:
    A caller learns the hard way that if you’re gonna prank an employee, at least be original!
  5. Morbid Curiosity Killed The Cat:
    Note to prank callers: your cat is NOT a get-out-of-jail-free card!

PS: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

Then Again, They’re Not Wearing Pants

| Yuma, AZ, USA | Right | March 26, 2012

Me: “Welcome to [theater name].”

Customer: “Two tickets to Chippendales.”

Me: *brief moment of silence* “Um…what?”

Customer: “I said I would like two tickets for Alvin and the Chippendales!”

Me: “Do you mean Alvin and the Chipmunks?”

Customer: “Whatever, just give me two tickets to that movie!”

3D Or Not, Time Is Still Linear

| California, USA | Right | March 23, 2012

(I work in a box office at a movie theater.)

Customer: “Is there a non-3D showing of Green Hornet at 6:45?”

Me: “No, it’s at 8:00.”

Customer: “When’s the next non-3D one?”

Me: “8:00.”

Customer: “There’s not one at 6:45?”

Me: “No, it’s at 8:00.”

Customer: “Oh…I looked up the 3D show instead of the regular one. So, wait, when’s the next non-3D showing of Green Hornet?”

Me: “8:00…”

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