(An older customer walks in very quickly and glares at me.)

Me: “Good morning!”

Customer: “What does ‘winter is coming’ mean?!”

(The customer is referring to our ‘Game Of Thrones’ themed red wine window.)

Me: “Oh! It’s the tagline, sort of, to a very popular series of books and TV show.”

Customer: “Well, you should be shot in the head with a small derringer. It should read, ‘autumn is here; winter is near.'”

Me: “Well, it’s a pop culture reference and has been very successful for us. I’m not sure what your intention is, coming in here and telling me I should be shot.”

Customer: “WELL, DO YOU ONLY SELL WINE TO TRENDY PEOPLE?! I OWN AN ADVERTISING AGENCY! I’M TRYING TO HELP YOU!” *storms out*

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(I work in an office, and am the only person who’s a bit of a geek. Today I am wearing a t-shirt that spells ‘COEXIST’ using ‘Game Of Thrones’ family sigils. There is a popular shirt design out that also spells ‘COEXIST,’ but using religious symbols.)

Coworker: “Oh! I love those shirts! Such a great message!”

Me: “Oh, totally. I really love the concept.”

Coworker: “One thing, though; I don’t recognize the symbols. What religions are they from?”

Me: “Oh, they aren’t religious symbols. They’re sigils from Game Of Thrones.”

Coworker: “What? That’s silly; why would someone make a shirt for that? Why would sigils need to coexist? They’re some secret cult symbols, aren’t they?!”

Me: “No, they are from the series. The sigils represent different important families in the books and show, and they do not get along. I can show you some screen caps to prove it if you’d like.”

Coworker: “You just don’t want me knowing about your secret religions. I’m pretty sure you’re making this up as a cover up!”

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(I am manning the phones late on a Saturday afternoon.)

Me: “Good afternoon, [TV service]; how can I help you?”

Caller: “The TV’s gone wrong. There will be somebody in at six to fix it. The football’s on tonight.”

Me: “Sorry, sir, we cannot get anybody out until Monday.”

Caller: “You have gotta be f****** joking. You advertise 24-hour service.”

Me: “We have a 24-hour answering service to take the details. Repairs are carried out from 8 am until 6 pm, Monday through to Saturday.”

Caller: “Look, c***! Get somebody round my house now, or I’ll come round there and smash your f****** face in!”

Me: “Sorry, sir, I can’t help.”

Caller: “Okay ‘boy’, put me through to your boss. I want to talk to the organ grinder, not the monkey.”

(The boss is in the office with me, and has heard my half of the conversation. My boss picks up the phone, and puts it in speaker mode.)

Boss: “Good evening, sir. How can I be of assistance?”

Caller: “Your f****** ‘TEA BOY’ has told me I can’t get my TV fixed today!”

Boss: “The f****** tea boy is absolutely correct.”

(My boss puts the phone down on the caller, cutting him off in mid-flow of swear words. He looks over and smiles.)

Boss: “That’s the way to handle them. Now, how about a cup of tea now that you have been promoted?”

(My English teacher loves ‘Harry Potter’ and ‘Star Wars’. Our class is made up by six people, with only two guys. Our teacher is talking about Macbeth being a tragic hero, and putting other characters forward to compare.)

Teacher: “Like Darth Vader, he was a tragic hero by the key concepts—”

(The teacher spots [Classmate #1] fiddling with his hat in a suggestive position.)

Teacher: “—what in the blazes are you doing?”

Classmate #1: *wide-eyed, before waving hand like a Jedi* “You see nothing. You shall continue teaching the class.”

Classmate #2: *waves hand at [Classmate #1]* “You shall admit that you were masturbating to [Teacher].”

(My 14-year-old sister walks in while I am looking up ‘Iron Man 3’ images online.)

Sister: “What are you looking at?”

Me: “Poster for the new Iron Man movie.”

Sister: “There’s another one?”

Me: “Yup.”

Sister: “Oh, my God! Is that Gwyneth Paltrow?! Is she, like, his wife?”

Me: “No, she’s his girlfriend in this movie.”

Sister: “So, what’s her superpower? Is that her costume?!”

(My sister points at a female Iron Man Halloween costume on the page.)

Sister: “They’re like twins!”

Me: “Please just stop.”

Sister: “So, is the Joker the bad guy again?”

Me: “No. That’s Batman. Go away.”

Sister: “Is Superman gonna show up and help him? They did that in The Avengers, right?”

Me: “What the… No. Just, stop. Please.”

Sister: “I hope they make the movies into a book. I’d read it.”