A Ban On The Banner, A Fan Of The (Wayne) Manor

, , , , , , | Rexburg, ID, USA | Learning | July 2, 2013

(My professor is going to have a baby boy soon.)

Professor: “Now, who can tell me what radiation is?”

Student: “It’s what made the Hulk!”

Professor: “No! We don’t talk about the Hulk. That’s bad science. He’s my least favorite Avenger, because mass doesn’t work that way. No.”

Me: “But you said you were naming your baby Bruce!”

Professor: *looks me dead in the eye* “Batman.”

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Masters’ Degrees Of The Universe

, , , , , , | The Netherlands | Learning | April 26, 2013

(I have recently started a college program focusing on video game creation. Needless to say, most of the students and teachers are a little geeky. I’ve just made some drawings for a group project and need to scan them, but I am having issues getting the scanner to work.)

Me: “Excuse me, [name of teacher]. I can’t seem to get the scanner to work. Could you help me with that?”

Teacher: “Sure, let’s have a look.”

(We go back to the scanner and I put one of my drawings on the scanner bed.)

Teacher: “Now look, here’s what you do…”

(He proceeds to stand in front of the scanner, and dramatically raises his arms.)


(After a few moments of silence he calmly turns back to me while I’m left staring at him rather flabbergasted.)

Teacher: “And if that doesn’t work, you try this…”

(He then moves to the computer attached to the scanner, and shows me the menu option I’d overlooked. Within a minute, I had my scans. The man is still one of my favorite teachers.)

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Weekly Roundup: Twilight vs. Harry Potter Fans

, | Not Always Right | Right | September 23, 2012

Twilight vs. Harry Potter Fans! In the battle between Team Edward and Team Harry, which fans are more devoted? Find out in this week’s roundup!

  1. Some Callers Are Proper Dementor (7,172 thumbs up)
    A Harry Potter fan meets the real life Viktor Krumm!
  2. You’d Bella Believe It (4,167 thumbs up)
    The only ABCs this customer knows are Alice, Bella, and Carlisle.
  3. Totally, Like, Aguamenti (2,569 thumbs up)
    This totally wet reader’s Harry Potter books could use an Impervius Charm!
  4. Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 8 (827 thumbs up)
    You know you’re a devoted Twilight fan when when you name your children Edward and Bella.
  5. The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 3 (5,329 thumbs up)
    A pair of Twilight-hating prankster teens inadvertently scores one for Team Harry!

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

Better Late Than Clever, Part 2

| Melbourne, Australia | Right | August 30, 2012

(A kid of 11 or 12 approaches the ticket sales counter.)

Me: “Hi, what can I get for you?”

Kid: “Can I have a ticket for [movie]?”

Me: “Which session time were you after?”

Kid: “The one on now.”

Me: “Okay, are you sure? This session has already started, and I think about 10 minutes into the actual film.”

Kid: “No, that’s okay.”

Me: “Alright, that’ll be [price].”

Kid: “Can I get a discount?”

Me: “What for?”

Kid: “I missed some of my movie.”

Me: “Um, you’re asking me for a discount because YOU turned up late to the movie?”

Kid: “…Yeah.”

Me: *shakes head*

Kid: “Oh well, it was worth a try!”

Better Late Than Clever

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A Man Of Few Words

| England, UK | Right | August 28, 2012

(I am working in the candy bar and am finalizing a group’s order.)

Me: “What size drink do you want?”

Customer: “Sprite.”

Me: “Size?”

Customer: “Sprite.”

Me: “Size?”

Customer: “Sprite!”

Me: “Size?”

Customer: “SPRITE.”

Me: “SIZE?!”

Customer: “SPRITE!”

(At this point, the customer smashes his fist on the bench and storms off, leaving his mates looking very awkward and embarrassed. Long story short: he wanted a large.)

A Woman Of Few Words

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