Language Barrage, Intelligence Mirage

| Joplin, MO, USA | Language & Words

(I work in the box office of a movie theater. A teenage girl comes up and asks me about Angelina Jolie’s new movie.)

Me: “Hello, welcome to [theater]. What can I get for you?”

Customer: “What’s the movie Salt about?”

Me: “Well, it’s got Angelina Jolie in it and it’s about espionage.

(A very confused looked crosses the girl’s face while she processes what I’ve said for several seconds. She’s clearly hung up on the word “espionage”.)

Customer: “Oh…so it’s in Spanish?”

Shh, The Neighbors Will Hear

| Michigan, USA | Language & Words, Rude & Risque

(At our movie theater, “Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close” is playing. A 70- or 80-year-old woman approaches.)

Me: “Hi, how may I help you?”

Customer: “I’d like a ticket to that new movie.”

Me: “No problem. What movie are you looking for, ma’am?”

Customer: “That new one. You know, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Nasty.”

Questionable Questioning

| England, UK | Language & Words

(I am in the concessions stand selling nachos.)

Me: “Do you want jalapeños?”

Customer: “Yes! Why is jalapeños pronounced like it has an ‘h’ in the beginning?”

Me: “I believe it’s a Spanish word.”

Customer: *indignant* “Well, I don’t really care.”