Egg On Your Face

| Washington, USA | Right | April 24, 2012

(I’m kind of petite, so when I’m in the box office I get a lot of kids who seem to think they can intimidate me into selling them R-rated tickets. This particular customer is a classmate of my little sister’s who annoys everyone by walking around repeating ‘I like eggs’ over and over and over again.)

Kid: “Me and my friend want to see Beerfest.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t sell you the ticket.”

Kid: “Excuse me?”

Me: “You’re not 17.”

Kid: “How the h*** do you know?”

Me: “One, you don’t look it. Two, you’re in my sister’s class.”

(The kid stomps off, and goes to the other side of the box office to try the same thing. When it doesn’t work, he comes back with his father.)

Kid’s Father: “Let me get this straight. It’s a movie theater…and you can’t discriminate against customers…but you won’t let my boy into that movie because he’s too young?!”

Me: “It’s rated R, sir.”

Kid’s Father: *to his son* “You told me it was PG-13.”

Kid: “She’s lying!”

Me: “Sir, the marquee says it’s rated R. Any website you look at will say it’s rated R. There’s really no way to lie about it.”

Kid’s Father: “I guess that means I have to go with him, huh?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Kid’s Father: *to his son* “That’s it. You’re waiting for DVD.”

Kid: “This is so not fair! You can’t do this to me!” *to me* “Don’t you know who I am?!”

Me: *calmly* “My sister tells me you like eggs.”

Kid’s Father: *laughs hysterically* “If I could give you a high five, I would!”

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That’s The Way The Cookie Grumbles

| Chesapeake, VA, USA | Right | April 19, 2012

(I work at a movie theater that sells a popular brand of cookies. On weekends, we often sell out faster than we can bake. On this day, we are sold out.)

Customer: “Do you have any cookies prepared?”

Me: “No, ma’am, but—”

Customer: “Let me speak to your manager!”

(The manager is in the area and overhears.)

Manager: “What can I help you with?”

Customer: “I was told you don’t have any cookies!”

Manager: “None that are ready to eat, but there are some in the—”

Customer: “You should keep them stocked! If I can keep my cookie oven stocked, so can you! I only come to the theater for the cookies!”

Manager: “Ma’am, I swear on my honor as a man that we will have cookies ready the next time you come in.”

Customer: “You better!”

(After she leaves, he dubs the woman the Cookie Monster. Now, whenever we run out of cookies, it’s a running joke to say “Hurry and bake more before the Cookie Monster comes for us!”)

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You Read My Mind

| Lake Zurich, IL, USA | Right | April 18, 2012

(I’m working the concession stand at the local movie theater when two teenage girls approach.)

Me: “Hello, how can I help you?”

Customer #1: “Yes, I’d like a large.”

Me: “A large what?”

Customer #1: *glares angrily* “A large POP.”

Me: *stares at her and smiles*

Customer #1: *angrily* “What?!”

Customer #2: “Tell him what kind of pop.”

Customer #1: *laughs* “Oh my God, I’m so blonde!”

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Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 8

| Alabama, USA | Right | April 16, 2012

(A coworker and I are walking around the theater seeing if anything needs to be done. A woman and about 6 children are walking down the hallway. One of the young girls starts running around.)

Customer: “Bella! Bella! Stop running, Bella! Bella!”

(She looks at her young son who is behaving well and pats him on the head.)

Customer: “Good job, Edward.”

Me: *speechless*

Coworker: “I wonder what the others are named.”

Related:
Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 7
Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 6
Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 5
Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 4
Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 3
Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 2
Less Twilight, More Daylight

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Starring Tom Booooohs

| San Antonio, TX, USA | Right | April 13, 2012

(I am an assistant-manager at my movie theater and I am working at our customer service desk. Part of my job is to answer the phone and answer customer questions.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [theater]. How may I help you today?”

Customer: “Yes, can you tell me what the next showtime for Mission Impossible is?”

Me: “7:30.”

Customer: “Have you seen it yet?”

Me: “No, sir, I haven’t.”

Customer: “Well, do you know if it has real ghosts in it?”

Me: “Ghosts, sir?”

Customer: “Yeah, because it’s called Ghost Protocol.”

Me: “Uh, no, sir. There are no ghosts in that movie.”

Customer: “Okay, thank you.” *hangs up*

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