There’s Acting Nice And Then There’s BEING Nice

, , , , , | Hopeless | May 15, 2019

(At my favorite convention, I decide to camp out overnight for the chance to enter a drawing that would get me into an autograph session for one of my favorite shows. A miracle occurs and I get in! Later that day, I’m at the signing and get to talk briefly to the cast. The first actress I talk to isn’t new to show business, but is kind of new to the convention circuit.)

Actress #1: “Hi! How are you?”

Me: “I’m great! How are you?”

Actress #1: “Oh, this is great, but I’m a bit tired.”

Me: “Yeah, me, too. I waited ten hours for the drawing this morning.”

(She sort of just stares blankly at me, trying to process this information. It never occurred to me she didn’t know this was how long we had to wait.)

Actress #1: “Wait, honey, where did you sleep?”

Me: “Well, outside.”

Actress #1: “YOU SLEPT OUTSIDE?!”

Me: “Yeah, but we all did. That’s the only way to get into this.”

Actress #1: “Wow…”

(She smiles at me and I move on. The next actress plays my favorite female character other than the lead, and I’m so excited to meet her.)

Me: “It was worth sleeping ten hours on concrete to meet you.”

Actress #2: *takes my hand in hers and smiles* “Love, I would do the same thing. It’s so great to meet all of you.”

(I’m on cloud nine when I meet the next actor. I’m cosplaying as the lead character.)

Actor: “Oh, hey, [Lead Character], how are you? Oh, wait, you’re not [Lead Character]! What’s your name?”

(I absolutely melted, told him my name, and thanked him. There have sadly been a lot of stories of celebrities letting people down and being terrible people, but I feel like sometimes we need a reminder there are some really great ones out there who are genuinely good people who love their fans.)

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Everyone’s Password Is Rosebud

, , , , , | Working | May 14, 2019

(I call my credit card company to activate my new card. While I am on hold I am on my laptop setting up online access for the account. I happen to be at the “Security Questions.” I notice the questions are kind of “fuzzy.” Instead of, “What is your mother’s maiden name?” there are questions like, “What brand of shampoo do you use?” The customer service representative comes on the line.)

Me: “Could you tell your management that their security questions are too vague?”

Customer Service Representative: “What do you mean?”

Me: “For example, one of the questions is, ‘What is your favorite movie?’ That answer can change based on my mood or even what movie I’ve seen recently.”

Customer Service Representative: “You will always be able to log in and change your answers.”

Me: “I can see it now: ‘Wow, that was a great movie! I can’t wait to go home and change my banking password!’”

Customer Service Representative: *chuckles*

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Reading Into The Sad State Of The Film Scene

, , , , , | Right | May 9, 2019

(I’m buying a movie ticket.)

Me: “One for Pan’s Labyrinth.”

Attendant: “Ma’am, are you aware that this movie is in Spanish and subtitled throughout?”

Me: “Yes.” *pause* “Why? Have you had complaints?”

Attendant: *nods slowly* “Oh, yes.”

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Mum Lost That Game

, , , , , | Related | May 6, 2019

(I am sat in the living room watching a game review on YouTube. My mum has been watching TV.)

Mum: “Why are you watching other people play games?”

Me: “It’s a review. I’m not actually watching them play it.”

Mum: “That’s silly. You should just play it yourself.”

Me: “I’m deciding whether I should, based on the review, and besides–” *looking directly at her*  “–how is it any different from you watching [Home Decorating Show]?”

Mum: “What do you mean?”

Me: “You should just decorate yourself instead of watching someone else do it.”

Mum: “That’s completely different! I’m getting inspiration for when I do want to redecorate.”

Me: “And I’m getting inspired to play this game.” *puts headphones in and ignores her trying to justify the difference*

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Doesn’t “Mean” As Much To Them

, , , , , | Working | April 30, 2019

(I am going to the bakery to get my two-year-old a little treat. As I approach, I hear the two employees there talking and giggling.)

Employee #1: “What? How do you not know that one? How do you not know every Mean Girls quote ever?”

Employee #2: “I haven’t seen it.”

Employee #1: “Watch it! It’s the best movie ever!” *turns to me* “Hi, what can I get for you today?”

Me: “Can I please get him—“ *gestures to my son* “—a Fun Bun?” *puts on fake American accent* “Because I’m not like a regular mom, I’m a cool mom.”

Employee #1: *stares at me, blankly* “What?”

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