The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 9

| Kingston, Ontario, Canada | Right | June 17, 2012

(I am working on box office one night. It’s soon after the release of the newest Twilight. Two teenage girls are at my cash purchasing tickets to see the movie.)

Teenage Girl #1: “So, you have Twilight at 6:30 and 6:50?”

Me: “Yes, we do.”

Teenage Girl #1: “That doesn’t make sense! It isn’t 20 minutes long!”

Me: “It’s in two different theaters.”

Teenage Girl #2: “Oh right! Duh!”

Related:
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 8
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 7
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 6
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 5
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 4
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 3
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 2
The Twilight Of Our Literacy

Aisle Always Need Directions, Part 3

| Minnesota, USA | Right | June 14, 2012

Customer: “Where’s my movie?”

Me: “Can I see your ticket real quick?”

Customer: “I left it in my movie. I just went to get popcorn. Where’s my movie?”

Me: “What theater are you in, sir?”

Customer: “I want to know where my movie is!”

Me: “Well, what movie are you seeing?”

Customer: “MY MOVIE!”

Me: *taken aback* “I-I’m sorry, sir. If you won’t tell me what you’re seeing, I can’t help you.”

Customer: *throws his entire bucket of popcorn and a large soda on the floor and storms out of the theater*

Related:
Aisle Always Need Directions, Part 2
Aisle Always Need Directions

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His Plan Is In The Toilet

| Orlando, FL, USA | Right | June 13, 2012

(I work in a movie theater that is inside a mall. Sometimes, the mall closes their restrooms so they use our restrooms instead.)

Customer: “Can I use your bathroom?”

Me: “Sure, they are right over there.” *points to restrooms*

Customer: *walks past where I point*

Me: “Sir, you walked past the restrooms.”

Customer: “Well, I was going to use the ones in the back.”

(I realize he’s just trying to sneak into a movie.)

Me: “Well, the restrooms in the front are just as good as the ones in the back.”

(The customer groans and walks into the restroom, but leaves only after a few seconds.)

Customer: “F*** you, p****!”

Me: “Have a good day, sir!”

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Now Showing The Fugitive

| Federal Way, WA, USA | Right | April 25, 2012

(I am outside in the box office by myself at night when a shady-looking guy walks up.)

Customer: “Hi, when’s the very next show?”

Me: “Twenty minutes.”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll get a ticket to that one.”

(This is very common for people who don’t care what they’re seeing and want to kill time, so I sell him a ticket for Harry Potter, which is the next movie. He walks away looking at the ticket.  A few minutes later, he comes back.)

Customer: “You sold me the wrong ticket. You said Twenty Minutes.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I thought you wanted the next show that was playing.”

Customer: “Yeah, I do.  You sold me a ticket for Harry Potter.  I don’t want this movie. I want the other one!”

Me: *confused* “I’m sorry, what movie did you want again?”

Customer:Twenty Minutes.”

Me: “We don’t have a movie called Twenty Minutes.  You asked when the next movie was.”

Customer: “Well, whatever. I don’t want to see this.”

Me: “Okay, I can change it for you. What movie would you like to see instead?”

(He picks a different movie, and our policy for exchanges is to write over the ticket itself and initial it. Otherwise, you have to ring up a new sale to print out another one, thus making our tills short.)

Customer: “You have to give me a new ticket.  This won’t work.”

Me: “It will. The door people will know I changed it for you.”

Customer: “But you wrote on it.  They’ll think I did it.  It won’t work!”

Me: “Sir, I promise you, this ticket will work. Those are my initials, and they know them.”

Customer: “No, you don’t understand. I’m under house arrest and I need proof of where I’ve been.  They’ll think I was the one who wrote on it.  I have the ankle bracelet and everything…” *ominously* “You want to come out and see?!”

(I immediately printed out a new ticket for him!)

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Aisle Always Need Directions

| Houston, TX, USA | Right | April 24, 2012

Customer: “I just walked in to the auditorium to see [movie title], and the movie is already playing.”

Me: “May I see your ticket stub?”

(She shows me her ticket stub while I continue to tear other customers’ tickets.)

Me: “Ma’am, you chose to see [movie] for the 2:15 showtime. Do you want to watch that movie for the next showtime? The next one won’t be playing until 5 PM.”

Customer: *irritated* “But the movie has already started! I don’t know what to do!”

Me: “Well, since you have missed the first 45 minutes of the movie, I can only get you to wait until the next showtime. That, or we can get you either a rain check or a refund.”

Customer: “Then tell me. What do you want me to do?!”

Me: “You’ll have to go back to the box office and have them exchange your ticket for another ticket for the 5:00 showtime, or have them get you your refunds.”

Customer: *starts yelling* “But I don’t want to do that! The movie already has started! You need to tell me what do I do!”

Me: “Let me get you the manager.”

Customer: “You don’t know anything!” *walks away*

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