Pray He Doesn’t Sit Behind You

| Canada | Uncategorized

(An old couple approach the auditorium I am ushering.)

Me: “I’m sorry, madam, outside food and drinks are not allowed into our auditoriums. I’ll have to ask you to please dispose of these cups before you can go in.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. No problem.”

(She throws away one of two cups into the garbage, and proceeds to walk in with the other one.)

Me: “I’m sorry, you need to get rid of both of these drinks.”

Customer: *points to her husband who is well on his way into the auditorium* “Oh, there’s nothing in that cup, that’s just for him to spit in.”

Gift Barred

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Uncategorized

(A guest orders her ticket and pulls out her wallet.)

Customer: “Oh, I have a gift card!”

(The guest holds out white plastic card with our logo on it.)

Me: “This is an employee swipe card. We use them for signing in and out at the beginning and end of a shift.”

Customer: “Oh.”

Me: “Where did you get this?”

Customer: “I found it.”

(The guest is about to return the card to her wallet.)

Me: “I’m going to need to hold on to that…”

Pray It’s Not Sold Out At Times Square

| Toronto, Canada | Uncategorized

Customer: “Two senior tickets for [film].”

Me: “I’m sorry, we’re no longer playing that film.”

Customer: “What? But you were playing it yesterday!”

Me: “Well, we usually get new movies on Friday.”

Customer: “My friend looked online and it said it was playing here.”

Me: “What website did you friend go to? Did it say the film would be playing here on Friday? Sometimes the websites get the movie listings wrong.”

Customer: “This is outrageous! I’m a native New Yorker and if this was New York, you’d be shot!”