They Grow Up So Fast

| | Right | August 30, 2008

Customer: “I’d like two tickets for [movie], please.”

Coworker: “That movie is rated R. Can I see your ID?”

Customer: *shows an ID that states she is 18*

Coworker: “You need to be 21 in order to purchase an R-rated ticket for someone else.”

Customer: “But it’s for my son!”

Coworker: “How old is your son?”

Customer: “16…”

Coworker: “So you’re 18… and you have a 16 year old son?”

Customer: “That’s right!”

Coworker: “Let me get my manager…”

Manager: “Ma’am, you need to be 21 to purchase a ticket for a minor.”

Customer: “But he’s my son!”

Manager: “You’re telling me you gave birth when you were two years old?”

Customer: “YES! It happens, I promise you!”

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Her Wiser Self Is Weeping Right Now

| | Right | July 25, 2008

Me: “Ma’am, may I see your ID for your credit card?”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: *points to the back* “Because it says to ‘See ID’.”

Customer: “Oh, right. I wrote that there so you can take it.”

Me: “I still need to see your ID.”

Customer: “Why? I wrote that so you know it’s me.”

Me: “Imagine if someone stole your card, told me they wrote ‘See ID’ and I accepted it?”

Customer: “But that didn’t happen, it’s really my card. Just take it!”

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Now Playing: Busted

| | Right | July 24, 2008

Me: “Welcome to [movie theater].¬†Can I help you?”

Customer: “Two for [rated R movie].”

Me: “Can I see your ID, please?”

Customer: ¬†”I don’t have any.”

Me: “Sorry, I can’t sell you any tickets.”

Customer: “But I’m 17! I’m allowed to see it!”

Me: “Not without an ID you aren’t! And even if you had an ID, I could only sell you one. You have to be 21 to buy more than one.”

Customer: “I can’t believe this! Look, I drove here today!”

(At this point he flashes daddy’s Mercedes keys in my face to “prove” he drove here.)

Me: “So, let me get this straight. You drove your Mercedes here without any form of ID, including a driver’s license?”

Customer: “YEAH! WHAT OF IT?!”

Me: ¬†”I’m sure the Raleigh Police Officer standing right behind you would love to have a word with you.”

Related:
Coming To A Theater Near You: Gangsta Ushers

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No Problem, We’ll Just Bulldoze A Nearby Home

| | Right | July 2, 2008

Me: “What size popcorn would you like, sir?”

Older Man: “Do your managers know that there are no parking spots out there?”

Me: “Um… I’m pretty sure they are aware of that, sir. Three very popular movies came out today, seeing how it is Friday.”

Older Man: “Well, maybe they need to be informed of the situation so they can fix it!”

Me: “I’ll let them know right now! In the meantime, this gentleman can help you with your popcorn…”

(I walk off, barely able to contain my laughter.)

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A Sticky Situation

| | Right | June 27, 2008

(Ever wonder why you can’t buy gum at a movie theater? Patrons plaster their used gum *everywhere.* An assistant manager I worked with knew exactly how to get the point across.)

Movie theater patron: “Do you carry any gum?”

Assistant Manager: *low growl* “Gum… is our enemy.”

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