When Customers Attack, Part 2

| | Right | September 30, 2008

Customer: “Yeah, can I get extra butter?”

Coworker:: “Actually the butter is self-serve on the sides of concession. You can help yourself, ma’am.”

Customer: *suddenly angry* “WELL IF YOU’RE NOT GOING TO HELP ME I WON’T COME BACK NEXT TIME!”

Coworker:: “Please don’t hurt me!”

Related:
When Customers Attack

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We Have No Power, Starring Samuel L. Jackson

| | Right | September 23, 2008

(During a major power outage that left all of Cincinnati in the dark for days, a woman calls the theater asking about movie times.)

Customer: “Hi, what movies do you have playing today?”

Me: “None, we don’t have electricity.”

Customer: “And what time does that start?”

Me: “Ma’am, we aren’t open.”

Customer: “That’s too early, what else you got?”

Me: “NO MOVIES ARE SHOWING TODAY!”

Customer: “I heard that was no good.”

Me: “We can’t show movies because we have no power!”

Customer: “Is that the movie with Samuel L Jackson?”

Me: *gives up* “Yes, ma’am. It starts at 6pm but you might want to be here early because it gets crowded this time of day.”

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Personally, I Go There To Do My Taxes

| | Right | September 11, 2008

(A group of annoying teenagers had been removed from one of the screens in the cinema for being loud and causing a huge disturbance.)

Teenager: “I want a refund. I want to talk to a manager. This is unfair!”

Usher: “Well, you can talk to a manager, but they’ll tell you the same thing I’ve told you.” *calls manager over*

Manager: “What’s the problem here?”

Teenager: “We’ve been kicked out of the cinema because apparently someone said we were being noisy and disturbing the film.”

Manager: “Yes?”

Teenager: “Yeah, well, we think it’s unfair and we want a refund.”

Manager: “And why should we give you a refund?”

Teenager: “Well you know how it is… you come to the cinema to have a laugh and a chat with your mates–”

Manager: “No you don’t. You come to the cinema to watch a film. Get out.”

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Introducing The DK Spring Collection

| | Right | September 10, 2008

Customer: “I’d like two tickets for the Green Knight, please.”

Me: “You mean the Dark Knight, ma’am?”

Customer: “No, I mean the Green Knight! The Batman movie!”

Me: “Ma’am, the only Batman movie currently showing is the Dark Knight.”

Customer: “I’ve never heard of that! I don’t want to see it! Give me two for the Green Knight!”

Me: “Ma’am, there is no such movie.”

Customer: “Fine. We’ll go see this Dark Knight thing, then. But I just want you to know I am not pleased!”

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Speak For Yourselves, Part 2

| | Right | September 9, 2008

Elderly Lady #1: “Now, what are the prices like for this show?”

Coworker: “Well, they’re-”

Elderly Lady #2: “Don’t tell us it’s expensive! I don’t want to spend too much money!”

Coworker: *holds out price sheet* “Here are the–”

Elderly Lady #1: “Oh, would you look at that. Look at those prices. Now where are these seats?”

Coworker: “Those are right-”

Elderly Lady #2: “No, we don’t want to sit there. It’s too far in the back.”

Coworker: “Actually, ma’am, they’re–”

Elderly Lady #1: “Those seats are okay… they’re in the middle.”

Elderly Lady #2: “Do they have anything closer on an aisle?”

Coworker: “Unfortunately– ”

Elderly Lady #1: “What do you need to be closer for? Those seats are fine. George and Harry will like them.”

Elderly Lady #2: “Yes, but I’d rather be able to sit as far from Martha as possible.”

Elderly Lady #1: “Ah, yes… we don’t like Martha. She talks so much you can never get a word in!”

Related:
Speak For Yourself

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