From The Mouth Of Babes, Part 4

| St. Louis, MO, USA | Family & Kids, Movies & TV, Uncategorized

(A few of us employees had just made a cup of ‘heart-stopper’, popcorn with way too much butter and salt, between shows. A mother and her son walk up to the counter.)

Son: “What’s that?”

Me: “We call it the heart-stopper.”

Son: “Can I try some?”

Me: “That’s up to your mom.”

(She gives consent and the kid really likes it and starts eating several pieces.)

Me: “Hey, slow down or you’ll wake up fat tomorrow morning!”

Son: “Woah! Is that what happened to you?”

Related:
From The Mouth Of Babes, Part 3
From The Mouth Of Babes, Part 2
From The Mouth Of Babes

A Not So Pregnant Pause For Thought

| United Kingdom | Family & Kids, Money, Uncategorized

Customer: “Can I have an adult and two students for [film]?”

(The film is rated ‘15’, and the two children with her look like they might not be old enough.)

Me: “Can I just ask your dates of birth?”

First Child: “September 1995.”

Second child: “Umm…”

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t sell you the tickets as your son can’t give me a date of birth to confirm he is 15.”

Customer: “Oh, for God’s sake! He was born in August 1995. They’re my children. I think I know how old they are! Now will you sell us the tickets!”

Me: “Wait, they’re both your children?”

Customer: *annoyed* “Yes!”

Me: “And they were only born a month apart?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “You have to be pregnant for nine months.”

Customer: “Yes! So?”

Customer: *realises*

(The customer swears and walks off.)

You And Me Could Write A Bipartisan Romance

| Durham, NC, USA | Movies & TV, Politics, Top

(I am the first person to arrive at work in the morning, and I answer a call as soon as I walk into the door.)

Caller: “Finally! I have been calling since 5 am! You people should be ashamed. I have an emergency!”

Me: “I’m sorry. No one gets here until 10 am most days. How can I help you?”

Caller: “I have a serious problem! My daughter has planned to have a date sometime today at your theater, and I told her she was not allowed to go! I need you to cancel her ticket!”

(I see no pre-sales for the day at all.)

Me: “No one has bought a ticket so far for today, so I can’t really help. Maybe you should just make her stay home?”

Caller: “Well, I can’t do that. She lives in her own place and I can’t get over there in time to stop her.”

Me: “Just how old is your daughter anyway?”

Caller: “She’s 28.”

Me: “Ma’am, she’s an adult and I cannot refuse her a ticket because you do not approve of her date.”

Caller: “You don’t understand! He’s a Democrat!”