Missing Out On The Spectacle

| Saco, ME, USA | Right | May 25, 2010

(I am working at the theater for a 3D movie and giving out the glasses.)

Customer: “The 3D isn’t working. I want a refund.”

Me: “Oh, well it could just be a problem with the glasses. Let me give you a new pair.”

Customer: “You mean I have to wear the glasses?”

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Customers Projections Can Leave You Reeling

| California, USA | Right | May 18, 2010

Customer: “Two for [movie].”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We don’t have that film at this theater.”

Customer: “Why don’t you have it?”

Me: “I’m not sure. The decisions on where to play the films are made by corporate.”

Customer: “But I’m here and I want to watch that movie.”

Me: “Well, I can sell you a ticket to another movie.”

Customer: “But I want to see that one! Can’t you just go get it? I’ll wait here.”

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A New Dimension of Stupidity

| Ottawa, ON, Canada | Right | May 13, 2010

(I pass the customer 3D glasses for his movie.)

Customer: “So these are 3D glasses?”

Me: “Yes sir!”

Customer: *getting excited* “So, if I put them on and look at you, you’ll be in 3D?”

Me: “Sir, by definition, I’m already 3D.”

Customer: “No. I mean, if I put on 3D glasses and look at you, or anything else, will you become 3D?”

Customer’s girlfriend: “You’re dumb. Just stop talking.”

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We Should Put A Cheesy Title Here But Then We’d Just Get Burned

| Columbia, SC, USA | Right | May 12, 2010

(A customer orders nachos and comes back 20 minutes later.)

Customer: “Excuse me.”

Me: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah I just ordered these nachos and the cheese ain’t hot!”

Me: “I’m sorry ma’am. The dispenser is supposed to keep the cheese hot.”

Customer: “Well you see this?” *sticks finger in the cheese* “I should be burning myself right now!”

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Hair Apparent

| Alberta, Canada | Right | May 5, 2010

(Two guys around 15 years old show up.)

Customer #1: “Hey, can I get one ticket to [movie]?”

Me: “Sure. I’ll just need to see a piece of ID please.”

Customer #1: “Oh, dang. I don’t have any ID.”

Me: “Sorry, I’m afraid I can’t sell you a ticket. It is an adult-only movie.”

Customer #1: “Can’t you just let us in anyway?”

Me: “Sorry, not without ID.”

Customer #1: “Well, hey, will this work?” *pulls out student ID card to a local high school*

Me: “It doesn’t have your birthdate on it, so no, it won’t.

Customer #2: “Well, can we pay you to let us in?”

Customer #1: “Yeah, we’ve got money.”

Me: *laughs* “Sorry, no.”

(Ten minutes later, they return with Customer #1 holding his finger above his upper lip.)

Customer #1: “Hey, I’ve got a mustache. Now can I have one to [movie]?”

Me: “No.”

Customer #2: “See, I told you that wouldn’t work!”

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