Maybe The Book Was ‘Cloud Atlas’

, , , | Learning | August 26, 2017

(I am in eighth grade, and we are required to give monthly book reports to our English class. For this month’s project, we are told to make a movie poster and assign real-life actors and actresses to play the characters in our book. A classmate is giving his report on a book I happened to have read a few months prior. He’s explained the plot fairly accurately when this happens.)

Classmate: “And here we have [Character] as played by [Pretty, Blonde Actress].”

(I was too shy to call him out on it, but the character he was referring to was not only not blonde, but a man! I’m not sure how he read the book well enough to explain the plot, but not remember if a character was a man or a woman.)

The Teacher Is The Meanest Girl

, , , , , | Learning | August 22, 2017

(This is an advanced psychology class, and we have finished our finals so the teacher is letting us watch a movie. He has a collection of movies that in some way deal with psychology, and explains about each one a bit.)

Teacher: “Okay, so, this one is Mean Girls. Lindsay Lohan is in this one; she was so good in Parent Trap. But now she’s a sinner, what with her dancing and language.”

American Sniping Comments

, , , , , | Right | August 11, 2017

(It is opening night of “American Sniper” and we we’re playing it in our biggest theater as well as some other smaller theaters to offer more showtimes. We had our 7:45 show sell out at 7:00 pm so we quickly canceled other movies to be able to add showtimes at 8:10 pm and 8:30 pm. A guest arrives at 8:00 pm expecting to still have seats available for the 7:45 pm.)

Guest: “Is there a reason you are only playing this movie in tiny theaters?”

Coworker: “Well, sir, we are also playing it in larger theaters but to make room for more people we had to put it in smaller theaters.”

Guest: “This is ridiculous. It’s up for an Academy.”

Coworker: “Sir, I would be happy to switch you to a later showtime in a bigger theater.”

Guest: “I want to see it now in a big theater.”

(He continues to complain for a while before deciding not to see it at all.)

Other Guest: “I am so sorry people are a**-holes. Thank you for adding showtimes. We really appreciate how much you do for your guests!”

Absolutely Megnificent

, , , , | Right | August 10, 2017

(I’m working a few hours into my shift when a man comes up and notices my name.)

Customer: “Meghan? That’s an Irish name. Was it always your name?”

Me: “No, sir, my name was originally Megatron.”

Customer: *completely serious* “Really? That must have been hard growing up, with your siblings and friends teasing you.”

(My brother, who works as a bagger in the store, walks by.)

Me: “I don’t know. Hey, [Brother]! This man wants to know if it was hard for me growing up with you teasing me because of my name being Megatron.

Brother: “We teased her all the time.”

Customer: “Huh, I feel kind of bad for you.”

Me: “Sir, my name has always been Meghan. I was kidding. The Megatron thing was a joke from Family Guy.”

Customer: “Oh. Well I heard something about the Irish calling their daughters ‘Meeghan’ from birth to age 16. Then they are called Meghan as a coming of age thing.”

Me: “Well, sir, I wouldn’t know. I’m mostly French-Canadian and I don’t think my family ever had that in mind. Have a good day.”

(He walked out, still looking very confused.)

The Mannequin Challenge Takes Hollywood

, , , , , | Friendly | July 17, 2017

I am meeting a friend at the movies and arrive before she does. Since I’m early, I buy my ticket but just wait in the lobby so we can go into the theater together. I’m not a very “fidgety” person, so I tend to sit or stand very still whenever I’m not actually doing anything. I have been sitting for a while in my car and know I will be sitting in a movie for a couple of hours, so I just stand to the side instead of sitting on one of the available chairs.

I watch other customers coming in, and eventually a mom and her two little girls come inside. They are waiting on someone as well, and one of the girls, who is probably six or seven, is running around while waiting. She’s not being wild or causing trouble, just very energetic. She stops and looks at the various cardboard cutouts of movie characters that are positioned around the lobby, and then she comes up to me and pauses.

I smile and give her a little wave, and she gasps and runs back to her mom. Just then, a man walks inside and over to join them, and the girl exclaims, “Daddy, I thought that lady over there was a poster!”

I’m flattered she thought I looked good enough to be an actress!

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