The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 9

| Kingston, Ontario, Canada | Extra Stupid, Time

(I am working on box office one night. It’s soon after the release of the newest Twilight. Two teenage girls are at my cash purchasing tickets to see the movie.)

Teenage Girl #1: “So, you have Twilight at 6:30 and 6:50?”

Me: “Yes, we do.”

Teenage Girl #1: “That doesn’t make sense! It isn’t 20 minutes long!”

Me: “It’s in two different theaters.”

Teenage Girl #2: “Oh right! Duh!”

Related:
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 8
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 7
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 6
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 5
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 4
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 3
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 2
The Twilight Of Our Literacy

Aisle Always Need Directions, Part 3

| Minnesota, USA | Wild & Unruly

Customer: “Where’s my movie?”

Me: “Can I see your ticket real quick?”

Customer: “I left it in my movie. I just went to get popcorn. Where’s my movie?”

Me: “What theater are you in, sir?”

Customer: “I want to know where my movie is!”

Me: “Well, what movie are you seeing?”

Customer: “MY MOVIE!”

Me: *taken aback* “I-I’m sorry, sir. If you won’t tell me what you’re seeing, I can’t help you.”

Customer: *throws his entire bucket of popcorn and a large soda on the floor and storms out of the theater*

Related:
Aisle Always Need Directions, Part 2
Aisle Always Need Directions

His Plan Is In The Toilet

| Orlando, FL, USA | Liars & Scammers

(I work in a movie theater that is inside a mall. Sometimes, the mall closes their restrooms so they use our restrooms instead.)

Customer: “Can I use your bathroom?”

Me: “Sure, they are right over there.” *points to restrooms*

Customer: *walks past where I point*

Me: “Sir, you walked past the restrooms.”

Customer: “Well, I was going to use the ones in the back.”

(I realize he’s just trying to sneak into a movie.)

Me: “Well, the restrooms in the front are just as good as the ones in the back.”

(The customer groans and walks into the restroom, but leaves only after a few seconds.)

Customer: “F*** you, p****!”

Me: “Have a good day, sir!”