Better Late Than Clever, Part 2

| Melbourne, Australia | Family & Kids, Money

(A kid of 11 or 12 approaches the ticket sales counter.)

Me: “Hi, what can I get for you?”

Kid: “Can I have a ticket for [movie]?”

Me: “Which session time were you after?”

Kid: “The one on now.”

Me: “Okay, are you sure? This session has already started, and I think about 10 minutes into the actual film.”

Kid: “No, that’s okay.”

Me: “Alright, that’ll be [price].”

Kid: “Can I get a discount?”

Me: “What for?”

Kid: “I missed some of my movie.”

Me: “Um, you’re asking me for a discount because YOU turned up late to the movie?”

Kid: “…Yeah.”

Me: *shakes head*

Kid: “Oh well, it was worth a try!”

Related:
Better Late Than Clever

A Man Of Few Words

| England, UK | Food & Drink, Language & Words

(I am working in the candy bar and am finalizing a group’s order.)

Me: “What size drink do you want?”

Customer: “Sprite.”

Me: “Size?”

Customer: “Sprite.”

Me: “Size?”

Customer: “Sprite!”

Me: “Size?”

Customer: “SPRITE.”

Me: “SIZE?!”

Customer: “SPRITE!”

(At this point, the customer smashes his fist on the bench and storms off, leaving his mates looking very awkward and embarrassed. Long story short: he wanted a large.)

Related:
A Woman Of Few Words

My Butter Half

| Minnesota, USA | Food & Drink, Love/Romance, Top

(A couple approaches me at the movie theater’s concession stand.)

Me: “Hi, what can I—”

Customer: “Give me a green tea.”

Me: “Sorry, we don’t have green tea.”

Customer: “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Well, fine! What DO you have?”

(I point right behind me where all our sodas are clearly listed.)

Customer: “Well, FINE! Give me a Diet Coke, then.”

Customer Husband: “…And a large popcorn, please!”

Me: “Sure! That all?”

Customer Husband: “Yep!”

Me: “Cool. You guys want butter on the popcorn?”

Customer Husband: *giant smile* “Ye—”

Customer: “Of course not! Unlike you, I have a figure to maintain! I can’t have BUTTER on my popcorn! Really, are you an idiot?!”

(I go to get them their popcorn, but I purposely put way too much butter in the bucket and shovel a thin layer of popcorn on top to hide the butter.)

Me: “Here you go!”

Customer: “Well, finally!”

Customer Husband: *whispers as his wife turns away* “Butter?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

(The guy hands me a five dollar bill. To this day, my coworkers and I refer to him as ‘Butter Man.’)

Page 1/5712345...Last