Mocking-day Early

| UK | Right | April 10, 2017

(I’m the customer in this scenario. I have pre-booked tickets to see ‘Mockingjay,’ bought popcorn and a slush drink, and am just waiting in line for my ticket to be checked.)

Clerk: “Are you sure you booked the right cinema? We’re not showing this film at nine pm.”

Me: “Oh! Well, I thought I did it right but that does sound like something I would do…”

Clerk: “I’ll check with my colleague.” *he goes to the colleague, smiles, and comes back* “Er, you’re a day early. Mockingjay isn’t released until tomorrow.”

Management Is Not Their Calling

| England, UK | Working | March 27, 2017

(In one screen, due to the special effects used, there always needs to be a staff member present and if different films are showing, it has to be changed over manually by a manager.)

Me: *frantically running out of the screen*

Supervisor: “[My Name]? What are you doing?! Get back in the screen!”

Me: “It’s playing the wrong film!”

Supervisor: “What?”

Me: “It’s supposed to be [Film A – a 12A/PG-13 rated film] but it’s showing [Film B – a 15/R-rated film] and I’ve radioed for a manager four times and they’re not responding! There are kids in the screen!”

Supervisor: “Oh, god!” *into their radio* “Manager receiving!”

(They call through three more times in two minutes but there’s still no response.)

Supervisor: *turns to me* “I’m going to projection. You get back in there and answer any questions. Let me know when the right film is showing.”

(Eventually we got it sorted and though a few people were annoyed, they calmed down when the right film started. The supervisor came to speak to me once the film cleared out.)

Supervisor: “So I went to the office to see what was going on with the managers.”

Me: “Were they in a meeting?”

Supervisor: “No. [Manager #1], [ Manager #2], and [Manager #3] were all sitting there with their radios turned off.”

Me: “Are you kidding me?”

Supervisor: “So I told them how the wrong film was cued up and that I’d just changed it but there may be customers wanting to complain afterwards. And do you know what they said?”

Me: “What?”

Supervisor: “They asked why we didn’t call them.”

The Other Side Of Parenting

| MA, USA | Related | March 22, 2017

(My family and I had just watched the movie “The Shack.” There is a scene in the movie where the main character is asked which of his children he would send to Heaven and Hell to prove a point. His answer was to send himself to Hell and save them both. My father and I are discussing the movie while walking out of the theater. There is a lighthearted joke that my sister is the favorite and the “prodigal daughter,” similar to the prodigal son story in the Bible.)

Me: “So, dad: me and [Sister]. Who would you send to Heaven, and who would you send to Hell?”

Dad: “You know the answer to that! I can’t choose! I would choose me!”

Me: “So… you’d go to Heaven?”

Dad: “Ding ding ding! See you on the other side – NOT!”

You Know You Are, But What Am I?

| IL, USA | Friendly | March 21, 2017

(One of my jobs is part time at a store that sells card games and board games. We get a lot of kids on certain nights for one card game. Anyway, it’s my day off, and my friends and I are going to a movie. I’m in line to get tickets and a kid that comes into our store pretty often (who is also a total brat) spies me and comes up to me. I am usually nice at the store and I’m trying to be nice now.)

Kid: “You’re a b****!”

Me: *caught off guard* “Excuse me?”

Kid: *smugly* “You’re a b****.”

Me: *smiling and trying to be kind, because I’m in a public place* “I know I am but what are you?”

(It takes a second but this confuses the kid.)

Kid: “Wait, no, it’s ‘I know you are but what am I?’”

Me: “That’s what I just said.”

(The kid screwed up his face and looked like he was trying to figure it out, but it was my turn to get tickets and I completely ignored him as my friends and I went into the theater. The next week the kid came into the store, froze when he saw me, and did not speak to me for the entire time he was in the store!)

Getting Mustard Flustered

| USA | Right | March 14, 2017

(I am training the new guy on how to work a register at the movie theater where I work at. He is doing really well until he gets a very special request.)

Customer: “Hi, one hot dog and some yellow ketchup, please.”

Trainee: “Uh, yellow ketchup?”

Customer: “You know, the yellow ketchup? You put it on hot dogs and cheeseburgers. It’s really tangy and gives you a weird tingle on your tongue.”

Trainee: *very confused* “Do you mean mustard?”

Customer: “No, no, yellow ketchup. It’s really good.” *to me* “You know what I’m talking about right?”

Me: “Oh, of course. I’ll be right back with that.”

(I go to the condiment island and grab a couple packets of mustard and cross off “mustard” and write “yellow ketchup” in sharpie on the packet and give it to the gentleman.)

Me: “Here you go, sir.”

Customer: “Thank you very much; have a wonderful day.”

(The customer walks away and my trainee turns to me.)

Trainee: “But that was just a mustard packet?”

Me: “I’ll tell you one thing from my year of working here: Sometimes you just have to pick your battles.”

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