Comeback Back At Ya

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Working | February 18, 2017

(My manager and I are having a disagreement on how to cook popcorn. He claims that if we prepared it the way I did, it would come out burnt. After some debate, we try both ways. We examine the batch after my method.)

Me: “It looks fine to me.”

Manager: “YOU look fine to me!”

Me: “Oh, well, thank you.”

Manager: “Wait… d*** it!”

Flurries Of Furries

| ME, USA | Right | February 9, 2017

(I am working by myself at the box office out in front of the theater when an individual walks in wearing a full wolf costume, head and all.)

Wolf-Man: “Yes, one adult to ‘Zootopia,’ please.”

(However, posted very clearly next to me is a sign saying that we cannot sell tickets to those wearing anything obstructing an individual’s face or any sort of prop weaponry.)

Me: “I’m very sorry, but unfortunately I cannot sell your ticket while you have that mask with you. It is a company policy for the safety of all of our guests.”

(The individual doesn’t take very kindly and, still wearing the wolf head, tells me very sternly:)

Wolf-Man: “This is my head. I am Greypaw the Wolf, and while I am in my fursona, that is who I am, so I would like to buy my ticket, please.”

Me: *gesturing to the sign next to me* “Unfortunately, I can’t let you purchase tickets until you remove the head. I have to ask you to return it to your car before we can complete the transaction.”

Wolf-Man: *still wearing the head and leaning over the counter* “I can smell that you are afraid of me. Just because I am an animal does not mean you need to be afraid. I’m just like you.”

Me: *pretty frustrated* “Sir, I don’t want to ask you to leave, but if you do not remove your mask, I will be forced to. It is a company policy and I have to uphold it.”

(This enrages him, causing him to lean over and growl at me, getting down on his hands and knees for some reason.)

Wolf-Man: “I am not a ‘sir’; I am a wolf and I expect to be addressed as such. I want to see this movie and all you are doing is preventing me because you obviously don’t like that I am not a human like you.”

Me: “Sir, I will gladly sell you the ticket. I’ll even store your mask in box office with me so you can be sure it’s safe. All I need you to do is take it off.”

Wolf-Man: *growled again, this time howling as well* “I am NOT a ‘sir.’ I am a WOLF!”

Me: “Well, I do have to apologize then, but not only do we have a no mask policy, but we do have a no pet policy, so I am going to have to ask you to leave.”

(He finally got the hint and stormed out, mumbling to himself the whole way to the door. Luckily there were no more customers in line as it was a slow day, but I never did see Greypaw again.)

Not Entitled To That Third Dimension

| Wales, UK | Working | February 3, 2017

(I take my younger brother and sister to the cinema, booking my tickets online before going. When we get there we find three teenage girls in our seats, who refuse to move, so we get a member of staff.)

Usher: “This lady has booked these seats. Please move to your own allocated seats.”

Girl #1: “Well, there’s been a mistake. WE booked these seats online before she did.”

Usher: “Show me your tickets.”

(They show the usher their tickets, showing that they did indeed have the same seats… in a different screen room.)

Usher: “These are the tickets for the 3D version. This screen is showing it in 2D.”

Girl #2: “Well, someone should have told us where to go.”

Usher: “It says clearly on the ticket ‘screen five’ and the member of staff that checked your ticket will have told you ‘screen five.’”

Girl #1: “We paid for this film and these seats. We’re not moving.”

Usher: “You paid extra to see the 3D version.”

Girl #1: “Yes, we paid extra, so we should get these seats.”

Usher: “Fine, you may keep those seats.”

(The girls smiled at us victoriously. The usher directed us to screen five where we got to take their seats in the 3D film.)

They Don’t Beliebe You

| NY, USA | Right | January 30, 2017

(I work in a movie theater. A while back on a Friday afternoon, we were waiting for the next crowd to come in when the phone rang. I answered it.)

Me: “Hi! Thank you for calling [Movie Theater]. How can I help you?”

Caller #1: *clearly a middle-school or high-school-aged girl* “Yeah, is, uh… [Pop Star Concert Movie] showing anytime around eight pm?”

Me: *checking our schedule* “Oh, I’m sorry, but it looks like our theater won’t even be getting that movie. I’m so sorry.”

Caller #1: *shocked* “Why?”

Me: “I can’t know for sure, but I’m guessing it’s because those sorts of movies tend to be very front-loaded here at the theater. Opening weekend, they’ll be packed, but starting the following Monday, attendance drops to near-zero for the rest of the theatrical run here. So we tend not to get those films, as we sometimes lose money on them when nobody shows up after the opening weekend.”

Caller #1: “That doesn’t make any sense. I’m sure you’re going to get it!”

Me: “I’m sorry; it doesn’t look like it’s on the schedule at all during the next week-and-a-half.”

Caller #1: “Oh, okay.”

(The caller hangs up. Less than two minutes later, we get another call. The caller ID in the theater shows the exact same number. I answer.)

Me: “Hi! Thank you for calling [Movie Theater]. How can I help you?”

Caller #1: “When are you showing [Pop Star Concert Movie] tomorrow?”

Me: “I’m sorry. We’re not getting that film. It’s not on our schedule at all.”

Caller #1: “Let me talk to someone else.”

(I hand the phone to a coworker who explains to the caller again that we won’t get the film. My coworker hangs up and informs me that the caller was under the impression that I was lying to them. Less than 30 seconds later, we get a call from another number, and I answer. When I pick up, I can hear the same person who called before in the background. She’s made a friend of hers call!)

Caller #1: *quietly in the background* “Ask them when they’re playing [Pop Star Concert Movie]! They keep lying to me and saying they aren’t getting it.”

Caller #2: *quietly* “Okay.” *louder, directed to me* “Hi, when are you playing [Pop Star Concert Movie]? My friend really wants to see it.”

Me: “I and another coworker have already explained to her twice that it isn’t playing at this theater.”

Caller #2: “But she says it is.”

Me: “…but it isn’t.”

Caller #2: *quietly to her friend* “He says they aren’t playing it.”

Caller #1: *angry* “Yes, they are!”

Caller #2: *to me* “She says you are.”

Me: “Well, then, she can check the schedule online herself. She will clearly see that it isn’t playing here.”

Caller #2: “Okay.”

(She hung up. We got about four more calls throughout the next two hours from both the original and friend’s phone numbers. Our manager finally had to call them back and tell them bluntly to stop calling. We later received a complaint from this same person, who suggested we weren’t showing the film just to “spite” her personally.)

Aim Low, Achieve High

| Tulsa, OK, USA | Friendly | January 26, 2017

The movie is over and I need to pee. The men’s restroom is full and the lines for the urinals are about seven deep.

Except for one.

You know the one. The one set about a foot lower for the kids. Everyone is looking at it, but nobody is willing to use it. I’m the sort of person who talks in elevators. I guess it’s up to me.

I stand in front of it. Relief.

Boom! Line six deep behind me. But I’m out without waiting. Fortune favors those who are not shy.

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