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Crappy Handwriting

| NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(The customer buys her tickets with a credit card so I hand her my pen to sign the receipt. While she’s signing it…)

Customer: “Where is the bathroom? I just changed my daughter’s diaper and need to wash my hands.”

Me: “It’s right over there… and you can keep the pen.”

 

Dear readers! This story was originally submitted without a title, to encourage you to come up with a witty submission yourselves. After considering the many amazing suggestions in the comments section, we have come up with the title above. Thank you all for participating; we had a blast reading them!

One Final Lesson For The Student

| UK | Movies & TV, Popular

(It’s opening night for an extremely popular film so we’re very busy. Two people approach my till.)

Customer #1: “Two student tickets for [Opening Night Film].”

Me: “Can I see your student cards, please?”

(Customer #2’s ID checks out but Customer #1’s is past its expiry date.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I can’t accept this. Do you have any other form of student ID?”

Customer #1: “Why? What’s wrong with it?”

Me: “This one expired back in July.”

Customer #1: “But it still gets me onto campus.”

Me: “I’m sorry but I do have to go by the date on the card. Do you have anything else?”

(Customer #1 rustles through his wallet and hands me a freshly laminated card that says ‘library’ on one side and his name on the other. No expiry date.)

Me: “Well, I’m sorry, but I can’t accept this either. You need to talk to your university ASAP about getting an up-to-date ID or you can purchase [officiated student card] on their website.”

Customer #1: “I can’t do that. I graduated.”

Me: “…You graduated?”

Customer #1: “Yeah.”

Me: “In July?”

Customer #1: “Yeah.”

Me: “You know that means you’re not a student, right?”

Customer #1: “I know.”

Me: “So why are you trying to buy a student ticket?”

Customer #2: *has been silent and unbothered throughout this exchange that has caused a large queue to build up behind them but suddenly chips in* “He thought you would be too busy getting through the queue to check him.” *to Customer #1* “Stop being a cheapskate and buy the tickets already or we’ll miss the d*** film.”

(This is not an uncommon occurrence and all over £2.)

Good Thing He Wasn’t Watching “Day After Tomorrow”

| England, UK | Funny Names, Movies & TV

Customer: “I pre-booked tickets online to watch… What’s it called again? …I can’t remember the name of the film.”

Me:Edge of Tomorrow?”

Customer: “No, I booked them for today!”