Stubbornness Is Its Own Reward

| NY, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money, Popular

(Our customer rewards card guarantees guests a cheaper ticket price on select days, in addition to $10 in rewards points for every $100 they spend. As a result, despite the rewards card costing an up-front fee per year, larger groups of people would actually be saving money if they buy the card on those select days. We’re also doing a limited promotion where people who sign up for the card get a free $10 in rewards on their card. A man is buying tickets from me at the box office the morning of one of those select cheap-ticket days.)

Customer: “It’s my kid’s birthday and I was hoping to take everyone who’s coming to his party to [Movie] at 4 pm. He’s desperate to see it. Do you have 18 tickets available?”

Me: *checking computer* “Yup, it looks like that showtime is totally open.”

Customer: *beaming* “Great! That’ll be 14 kids tickets and 4 adult tickets, please.”

Me: *clicking the tickets in* “That would come out to about $150. However, because today is the day where our rewards-card guests get the cheaper ticket price, your total would only come out to $90 if you have our rewards card. Do you happen to have a rewards card?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Oh, then I’d highly recommend getting one. If you signed up for one, even with the up-front fee, you’d still only be paying about $100, so you’d be saving $50. In addition, for every $100 you spend, you get $10 credit back on your card that you can use like a gift-card. We’re also doing a promotion where if you sign up for a card this month, you get a free $10 credit. So if you sign up for one now, you’re not only saving $50, but you’re essentially getting the equivalent of a free $20 gift card in rewards points you’d be earning. Can I sign you up for one?”

Customer: *instantly annoyed* “Ugh. No. I don’t like being ripped off!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I’m not trying to rip you off.”

Customer: “Yes! Yes, you are!”

Me: “I’m giving you an offer that would save you $50 up front and give you a guaranteed $20 credit.”

Customer: “Yeah…?”

Me: “And if you didn’t get the card, you’d be paying $50 more and wouldn’t get the $20 credit.”

Customer: “Uh, yeah. But I don’t like being ripped off. And your rewards card is a rip-off. It costs money upfront?”

Me: “Yes, sir. But it’s a one-time fee per year, so you’d have the card for the next year. And it won’t automatically be renewed after the year is up, so you won’t be surprised by renewal charge a year from now. We only renew it if you want us to.”

Customer: *holier-than-thou tone* “So you want me to pay upfront for a rewards card?”

Me: “Only if you’d like to sign up for one. And as I said, I’d highly recommend it. With the volume of tickets you’re buying, you’re saving a lot and getting $20 in rewards.”

Customer: *beaming* “Hence, you’re ripping me off. I won’t pay an upfront fee for a rewards card!”

Me: *thoroughly confused* “Okay, then that’ll be $150.”

Customer: *completely pleased with himself* “Thank you! You aren’t ripping me off with some bogus rewards program!”

(The real kicker? I later heard he came back after I had left, claimed I told him he would be getting “a free $20 gift card,” and had to be given a verbal warning about being kicked out after he pitched a fit when my manager — who I had told this story to when she arrived, before I left — refused this claim.)

Make No Concessions For The Price

| NY, USA | At The Checkout, Money, Movies & TV, Popular

(I’m working concession. A woman in a very expensive designer sweat-suit, and what appears to be expensive jewelry, walks up to me.)

Customer: “Small popcorn and a water, please.”

Me: “Sure thing. That’ll be $10.50.”

(She pauses and begins laughing wildly without breaking eye contact. After seeing that I’m confused, she stops.)

Customer: *suddenly looking panicked* “Wait… you’re not joking?”

Me: “No, ma’am. It’s $10.50 for a small popcorn and a bottle of water.”

Customer: *going pale* “I… I can’t…”

(She literally darts away without saying anything else. She comes back five minutes later.)

Customer: “Just the water, then.”

Me: “It’ll be $4.”

Customer: “Are you kidding? You weren’t last time. Please tell me you’re kidding this time! PLEASE! I just… I can’t understand!”

Me: “I understand your confusion and I apologize. The thing is, movie theaters make no money on ticket sales, really. Those profits mostly go back to the studios and distributors who make and release the film. Hence, concessions have to be marked up since it’s where our actual profit comes from.”

Customer: *VERY over-dramatic* “But I paid $10 for my ticket! I PAID $10 FOR MY TICKET! SURELY THAT’S ENOUGH FOR YOU TO MAKE ENOUGH MONEY NOT TO CHARGE ME SO MUCH FOR WATER!”

(My coworker from the next register speaks up.)

Coworker: “We actually make just pennies on the dollar for tickets during the first few weeks a film is out. He’s telling the truth. We really don’t make any real money off of ticket sales.”

Customer: “I CAN’T!”

(She storms away. About five minutes later, a man in similarly expensive clothing walks in and waits by concession. A few minutes later, I hear the original customer, in a panicked voice speak up.)

Customer: *to man* “Honey! Come here now! I need you!”

(He darts away, shaking his head. I’m guessing this has happened before. I overhear their conversation as they disappear down the hall.)

Customer: “It was horrifying! Horrifying! I had to go splash water on my face and do a breathing exercise in the bathroom to calm myself down! Because my heart was pounding so hard! They actually charge $10 for popcorn and water! I can’t do this! I just can’t do this! If I have a heart attack, I’m going to file a lawsuit against this crooked theater!”

(I make sure they’re out of earshot.)

Me: “Did the woman whose sweatpants alone probably cost more than I make in a month REALLY just imply she was going to have a heart attack over $10 of concessions?”

Coworker: “Hey, just be glad you weren’t working here the one time we had to call the cops on a lady for assaulting a manager over a 75-cent price increase on popcorn a few years back.”

Me: “I don’t even want to know…”

Nothing Scarier Than Childbirth

| Budapest, Hungary | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Movies & TV

(I am working in a cinema as a cashier. It is late at night, a few minutes before midnight. A very pregnant woman comes in.)

Me: “Good evening, madame, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Is [Horror Movie] scary?”

Me: “I don’t know; I haven’t seen it, but I suppose.”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll take one adult ticket.”

Me: “Okay. where do you want to sit?”

Customer: “I would like to sit near the stairs, because I’m in my ninth month and probably I will start labour.”

Me: “Do you want to talk to my manager about it? If you do start labour, won’t that be a problem?”

Customer: “No, thank you. I have three children. It happens all the time!”

Rated ‘R You Serious?’

| USA | Extra Stupid, Movies & TV

(I work at a movie theater.)

Customer: “Two tickets for [R-rated Movie].”

(The customer looks like a young teenager so I’m required to check his ID first.)

Me: “Sure, if your want to buy the tickets I’m just going to have to look at your ID first.”

Customer: “Come on, man. I’m not old enough.”

Me: “I can’t sell them to you, then. Sorry.”

Customer: “Come on, man.”

Me: “Sorry, dude.”

Customer: “Come on, man.”

Me: “I really can’t…”

Customer: “Come on, man!”

His Friend: “Yeah, I don’t think that’s working.”

Acting Childish

| FL, USA | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers

(In this story I am the customer buying two tickets to see a popular new movie with my little sister. Note: I am 16 when this takes place.)

Me: “Two kids tickets for [Popular Movie], please!”

Clerk: *gives me confused look* “How old are you?”

Me: “16, but I’m a child at heart.”

Clerk: *laughs* “And will that be for the [next available movie time]?”

Me: “Yes.”

(Needless to say I didn’t get the child ticket.)

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