A New Landmark In Entitlement

| Edinburgh, Scotland, UK | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(I am the manager of a 102-year-old cinema which is a landmark in Edinburgh. We happen to have a film on which is bringing in a lot of people that don’t usually come to our cinema. At the end of this film, I go in to clean the auditorium and see a man dumping the remains of a bag of crisps, which he’s brought in from outside, onto the floor.)

Me: “Sir, you’re welcome to put that right in my bin bag”

(He continues dumping the crumbs on the floor.)

Man: “I paid for these and don’t want any of you eating the leftovers.”

Me: ”…”

(I was so surprised I just stood there while he walked away. All too late, I thought of many witty come-backs!)

I Find Your Lack Of Concessions… Disturbing

| NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Movies & TV, Popular

(It’s a few days after “Star Wars” has opened, and it’s been playing to all-day sold-out screenings since it opened. We’ve had such huge, record-numbers of guests, that we’ve actually started to run out of many of our concessions. It’s a Monday night, my shift ends in ten minutes, and I’m dealing with my last round of customers, who are of course there to see “Star Wars.” We have a large group of people in the stand because we’ve had to bring in the new hires for emergency training to deal with the record-number of guests. However, as they are all training, they can’t really help me.)

Customer: “Pretzels, please.”

Me: “I’m terribly sorry, but we’ve actually sold out of pretzels.”

Customer: “But it’s a MONDAY!”

Me: “Unfortunately, Saturday was the busiest day we’ve ever had in the theater’s history, and all of our pretzels sold out by that afternoon.”

Customer: “Ugh, fine. Pepperoni pizza, then.”

Me: “We also sold out of all of our pizzas Saturday. I really apologize. We’ve been dealing with record-numbers of guests the past few weeks and we’ve been selling out of much of our stock.”

Customer: *fuming* “You’ve gotta be kidding me! Nachos?”

Me: *wincing* “Sold out as well. I’m so sorry.”

Customer: “FINE! HOT DOGS!”

Me: “We do have hot dogs, but there’s none prepared at the moment. We could have some ready in about fifteen minutes, if you’d like.”

Customer: *screaming; pointing to the trainees around the stand* “What the f*** are you all good for, then?! So many people around you and you’re too STUPID to make f****** hot dogs?!”

Me: “We actually sold all of the hot dogs we had prepared on the guests before you. I really apologize.”

Customer: *pulling phone out* “POPCORN! MEDIUM! AND I WANT COURTESY TRAYS TO SPLIT IT WITH MY BOYFRIEND!”

Me: “We’re out of courtesy trays.”

Customer: “F*** YOU!”

(The customer storms off.)

Next Customer: “Wow, she was dramatic…”

Me: “Yeah, I apologize. We’ve sold out of a lot of inventory and it’s been ugly here the past few weeks as a result. How can I help you?”

Next Customer: “Can I get some nachos?”

Me: “Sorry, but we sold out of them.”

Next Customer: *instantly furious* “WHAT?! THIS IS BULL-S***!”

Polite Or Flight

| Ann Arbor, MI, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Movies & TV

(We are hosting a small film festival with another local movie theater and we reserve the credit card machine for the film festival movies only. This means that our regularly scheduled movies are cash only. Some customers are annoyed by this but this particular customer threw a hissy fit. This happens to my coworker who is probably one of the sweetest, most polite people I have ever met.)

Coworker: “Hello, ma’am, just to let you know, because of the film festival we are only accepting cash for the other films.”

Customer: “Are you f****** kidding me? What the f*** am I supposed to do?”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, but there is an ATM at the store down the street.”

Customer: “This is f****** ridiculous!” *storms out*

Coworker: “Have a nice day!”

(The customer comes back five minutes later.)

Customer: “HOW DARE YOU?! WHAT THE F*** GOOD DOES IT DO ME OR DO YOU TO TELL ME TO HAVE A NICE DAY WHEN I’M CLEARLY UPSET?!”

Coworker: “Okay, theater two! Enjoy the show!”

Customer: *storms off towards the theater*

Must Love Those ‘Rush-To-The-Airport’ Scenes In Movies

| London, England, UK | Movies & TV, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

(I work in a cinema in Leicester Square, right in the heart of London’s West End. It is around midnight and a lady rushes in with several suitcases. Note that it’s 15 km to the nearest airport.)

Lady: “Is this the airport?”

Always Calls When It’s Showtime

| NY, USA | Popular, Time

(It’s Friday. One of the biggest movies of the year has just opened and we’re operating to near-constant crowds. As a result, we can’t always answer phones, and common calls like people asking for show times cannot be addressed and must be put on hold or given the number for an automated hotline for show times and similar inquiries. The phone rings. I manage to answer it between guests on concession.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Theater]! How can I help you?”

(An elderly voice responds.)

Caller: “Yes, can I get a list of the movies you’ll have playing tomorrow and the show times for each?”

Me: “I’m terribly sorry, but we’re quite busy. I won’t be able to answer show time questions as all of our box-office registers are currently in use. If you’d like, I can either give you the number to an automated line that lists show times, or you could stay on hold and we can have someone help you when they’re available.”

Caller: “I’ll just call back.”

(The caller hangs up before I can even say “Good-bye” and I go back to my register. 15 minutes later we’re just as busy and the phone rings. I again answer it. It’s the same caller.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Theater]! How can I help you?”

Caller: “I was hoping I could get the list of movies you’ll be playing tomorrow and your show times.”

Me: “I’m sorry. We’re quite busy today. Can I put you on hold? Or give you the number to a hotline that can provide you with show times?”

Caller: *deep sigh* “I’ll just call back.”

(Less than five minutes later, the same person calls back. I see the number on the phone’s caller-ID, so I answer.)

Me: “Thank you for calling! I notice that this is the same number I’ve spoken to before. Unfortunately, we’re still quite busy and I won’t be able to provide you with the information you’re seeking at this time. May I give you the number of our automated hotline? It’ll give you the information you’re looking for.”

Caller: *shrieking* “I’LL JUST CALL BACK, THEN!”

(The caller calls back almost a dozen more times over the next hour. I stop answering, but each time I hear a coworker giving her the same spiel, specifically noting that we have an automated hotline that has the information she’s seeking. Finally, I answer the phone again.)

Me: “Thank you for calling! How can I help you?”

Caller: *furious* “Do you have a number I can call for show times?! I’m sick and ****ig tired of calling!”

Me: “Yes, we do. It’s [number].”

Caller: *screaming* “Why couldn’t you just have told me that an hour ago?!”

Me: “Actually, ma’am, I…”

(I hear a click.)

Me: “…told you. Repeatedly.”

Coworker: “Same lady? She finally take the hint?”

Me: “We can only hope.”

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