We are hosting a midnight screening of “The Rocky Horror Picture Show,” and as such, most of us are in costume. I am dressed as Columbia during the Time Warp. I couldn’t find a jacket for my bust size that I liked, so I ended up making one myself.

Customer: “Oh, I do love your nipples!”

My eyes widen and I stare at him in shock. No part of my chest is exposed. It takes him a few seconds to realise. 

Customer: “No, no! I meant lapels. I’m not a pervert, I swear! Just, the lapels are huge, and the rhinestones are incredible. You can’t even see your nipples… I’m going to stop talking.”

I burst out laughing and thanked him for the compliment before I tore his ticket and let him into the theatre.

My friends and I have gone to see a movie. There are six of us, all sitting in a row, chatting amiably back and forth as we wait for the previews to start. We hear a noise from the man sitting behind us.

Man: “SHHHH!”

We look at each other in disbelief. The screen is blank, the lights are still up, EVERYONE in the theatre is chatting, and we aren’t even being loud. Just then, the lights go down and the previews start, so we stop talking. There’s just one problem: there’s no sound with the previews. It’s like we’re watching a silent movie.

Friend #1: “Aw, man, what’s all this?”

Man: “SHHHHHHH!”

He starts kicking our seats.

Friend #2: *Quietly* “What the h*** is his deal?”

Friend #3: “Forget him. I’m going to go tell an usher that we’ve got speaker problems.”

He grins evilly as he says that, and I know he’s up to something. [Friend #3] is a bit of a prankster. Sure enough, when he comes back, [Friend #3] talks to us loud enough so that the guy behind us can hear him.

Friend #3: “The usher said there’s nothing they can do. The entire movie is going to be silent.”

Man: “WHAT?!”

And he stomped out of the theatre. The movie started a few minutes later and the sound worked just fine. The “SHHHH” guy never came back.

One of our regular customers, an elderly woman in a walker, has come out of the theater after her movie has finished. She has a notorious reputation among us for requiring assistance for everything and being very demanding. Today, she has been particularly snippy.

Customer: “I need you to call me a cab.”

Me: “All right, ma’am. Right this way.”

We walk over to the phone. The whole while, she’s grumbling about her movie. I call the cab company whose number I have saved due to having to call it for her so many times.

Customer: *As I’m dialing* “Make sure you tell them to pick me up at [Theater’s Shopping Center]. They don’t speak English very well and don’t understand.”

Cab Company: “Thank you for calling [Cab Company]. How can I help you?”

Me: “Yes, I’m calling for a cab to pick up [Customer] at [Our Theater].”

Customer: *Loudly* “No! You’re doing it wrong! They won’t understand you!”

The cab company overhears the customer over the phone.

Cab Company: “Uh… sorry. Wrong number!” *Hangs up*

It took three more phone calls for them to give in and send her a cab.

This is the first day my theater has opened up after being closed for nearly six months due to the health crisis. We only have five people show up for one of our showings, one being a known problem customer.

Every time he comes, he finds something to complain about. Normally, it’s either that the theater is too cold or the movie is too loud. And while these are both valid complaints, the way he goes about filing them is the problem. Normally, he sits in the theater for about an hour before the movie starts, and then right as it starts, he gets out his phone to call the theater, disrupting all the other guests because he’s too lazy to get up and tell an employee. Also, whenever he does complain directly to employees, he’s incredibly abusive, even going as far as calling a black manager racist against white people for not letting him use his phone during a movie and calling a bartender a b**** because she wouldn’t change the channel on the TV in the lobby.

His behavior has gotten so ridiculous, he’s actually banned from our sister theater in the next town over. But, before the health crisis, our general manager decided that this behavior is okay and will even give him free movie passes when he makes his ridiculous phone complaints because of the “inconvenience.” When we reopen, three-quarters of our managers, including our general manager, decide not to return. This means the general manager from our sister theater is now our general manager, as well, and two other managers come from that theater to help us out. 

The day we reopen, the problem customer is the first person in the theater. As he is walking to the concession stand, he stops, turns away from me so I can’t see what he’s going, and starts messing with his mask. We are requiring masks in the lobby at all times and in the theaters when guests aren’t eating or drinking. At first, I think he’s just readjusting it, but when he turns back to me he says: 

Customer: “Oh, sorry, I couldn’t breathe.”

I realize he pulled his mask down, took a few breaths, and put it back on before turning back to me. I don’t say anything because I really don’t want to be yelled at today and I know my old general manager would’ve gotten mad at me for making him mad. I’m not used to my new general manager’s managing style.

The customer purchases his food and heads to his theater, and we don’t hear from him until the end of the movie. My coworker and I are heading to clean the theater he just exited when he stops us in the lobby. 

Customer: “The people in the theater with me weren’t wearing their masks! They were eating popcorn!”

Me: “Um, si, [Theater Company] is allowing guests to take their masks off while they are eating or drinking inside of the theaters.”

Customer: “But they were eating through the entire movie! They didn’t have their masks on at all! You didn’t enforce the mask rule with them!”

Me: “Well, unfortunately, because they were eating, there’s nothing I can do. They are allowed to have their mask off to eat.”

Customer: “Look! They even have their masks off now! You’re not doing anything about it!”

The guest he’s referring to have already left the building and are out in the parking lot, standing by their car. At this point, I know he’s not actually concerned about the rules or the safety of other people; he just wants free passes. 

Me: “Sir, they’re already out of the building. They wore their masks as they walked through the lobby and took them off once they got to their car. There’s nothing I can do about that.”

Customer: “Well, don’t worry. I’ll be calling [Old General Manager] tomorrow.”

He then stormed out of the theater before I had the chance to tell him that she no longer worked for the company. He did call my managers the next day, and they informed him about our change in management. He didn’t get any free passes and was probably incredibly disappointed that he would no longer be able to get away with his little scam.

The funny thing is, I went to the store that he worked at a few days later and he had his nose sticking out of his mask.

Also, I freaking love my new managers.

I work in a movie theater. A middle-aged man comes in during a busy holiday and watches the greeter for whenever they are distracted helping other customers, and then sneaks into the screens.

We catch him later on security cameras, as he has managed to watch multiple movies using this tactic while only paying for one. Since we can get into a lot of trouble if that sort of thing happens too much, we keep an eye out for him.

It’s another holiday and the theater is swamped, and he comes in. I’m the greeter that day, so I keep an eye on him. He does indeed theater-hop at one point when he thinks he’s not being watched. I send a manager in, and they agree to let him stay in the theater he hopped into, but if he’s caught hopping again, he’ll be kicked out.

Sure enough, a short while later, he slyly tries to sneak into the next theater, which is already playing. My manager agrees to watch the greeter stand while I go in. I approach him in the dark.

Me: “Excuse me, sir, may I see your ticket?”

He knows he’s caught and struggles to think quickly.

Customer: “But I had to come to this theater. I think I lost my glasses in this one!”

Neither time he came in did he have glasses with him.

Me: “Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

He screams loud enough that everyone turns and looks.

Customer: “NO!”

I ended up leaving and sending in my manager. She left the theater five minutes later, shaking her head and muttering about calling the cops if he didn’t come out after the next time she went in.

Shortly after, my manager went back in with a group of employees, who I am told surrounded him in the theater and blocked his view, and returned another few minutes later with the man, who was absolutely fuming that he was actually being kicked out.

He then went up to the box office and demanded his original ticket be refunded since he “didn’t get his satisfaction as a customer.” He was refused a refund, and last I heard, our GM had put him on a temporary ban that will become permanent if he tries this again.