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Don’t Get Owned By The Violence

| NSW, Australia | Movies & TV

(I am an usher, and wait at the back of the theater while the credits roll for ‘War Room’ (a religious film) as people exit, after which I can begin cleaning. All the patrons have left apart from two ladies. One lady refuses to leave and is dancing to the music. Her friend approaches me.)

Friend: “Great movie. It’s better than all your violent ones.”

Me: *chuckled* “I find it odd how all the violent films are inexplicably mine. Well, I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

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Smells Like Teenage Dispirit

| NSW, Australia | Bad Behavior, Movies & TV

(I am the usher on the opening weekend of ‘Ted,’ and it is quite busy. I walk into the theatre, and notice about ten teens sitting on the floor.)

Me: “Hi, guys, I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to find seats.”

(The teens look at each other, then all mumble their refuse, and try to ignore me.)

Me: “Sitting on the floor is against our policy, because it poses a hazard for both yourselves and other patrons. You can either relocate yourselves, or leave the theatre.”

(They leave, swearing at me, and emptying their popcorn in a trail all the way from the last theatre in the building to the front doors, and abuse the manager on their way out.

Me: *angry* “Don’t worry about your popcorn, guys; we’ll clean up after you!”

(I was promptly told off by my manager for letting my anger get the better of me.)

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Double-Oh-Seven Different Ways To Say It

| NSW, Australia | Funny Names, Movies & TV

(I’m working as a cashier, selling tickets, and have a run of customers that seem to encounter issues with the movie title.)

Customer #1: “Hi, I’d like a ticket for the James Bond movie.”

Me: “All right, you’ll be in cinema two for Spectre tonight.”

Customer #1: “No! I wanted James Bond!”

(Later.)

Customer #2: “Hi, I’d like two tickets to Skyfall tonight.”

Me: “No worries, you’ll be in cinema two for Spectre tonight””

Customer #2: “Oh! I called it the wrong thing!” *begins laughing hysterically*

Me: “It’s okay! I knew what you meant.”

Customer #3: “Hi, I’d like a ticket to Spectra.”

Me: “Close enough!”