Make No Concessions For The Price

| NY, USA | At The Checkout, Money, Movies & TV, Popular

(I’m working concession. A woman in a very expensive designer sweat-suit, and what appears to be expensive jewelry, walks up to me.)

Customer: “Small popcorn and a water, please.”

Me: “Sure thing. That’ll be $10.50.”

(She pauses and begins laughing wildly without breaking eye contact. After seeing that I’m confused, she stops.)

Customer: *suddenly looking panicked* “Wait… you’re not joking?”

Me: “No, ma’am. It’s $10.50 for a small popcorn and a bottle of water.”

Customer: *going pale* “I… I can’t…”

(She literally darts away without saying anything else. She comes back five minutes later.)

Customer: “Just the water, then.”

Me: “It’ll be $4.”

Customer: “Are you kidding? You weren’t last time. Please tell me you’re kidding this time! PLEASE! I just… I can’t understand!”

Me: “I understand your confusion and I apologize. The thing is, movie theaters make no money on ticket sales, really. Those profits mostly go back to the studios and distributors who make and release the film. Hence, concessions have to be marked up since it’s where our actual profit comes from.”


(My coworker from the next register speaks up.)

Coworker: “We actually make just pennies on the dollar for tickets during the first few weeks a film is out. He’s telling the truth. We really don’t make any real money off of ticket sales.”

Customer: “I CAN’T!”

(She storms away. About five minutes later, a man in similarly expensive clothing walks in and waits by concession. A few minutes later, I hear the original customer, in a panicked voice speak up.)

Customer: *to man* “Honey! Come here now! I need you!”

(He darts away, shaking his head. I’m guessing this has happened before. I overhear their conversation as they disappear down the hall.)

Customer: “It was horrifying! Horrifying! I had to go splash water on my face and do a breathing exercise in the bathroom to calm myself down! Because my heart was pounding so hard! They actually charge $10 for popcorn and water! I can’t do this! I just can’t do this! If I have a heart attack, I’m going to file a lawsuit against this crooked theater!”

(I make sure they’re out of earshot.)

Me: “Did the woman whose sweatpants alone probably cost more than I make in a month REALLY just imply she was going to have a heart attack over $10 of concessions?”

Coworker: “Hey, just be glad you weren’t working here the one time we had to call the cops on a lady for assaulting a manager over a 75-cent price increase on popcorn a few years back.”

Me: “I don’t even want to know…”


Nothing Scarier Than Childbirth

| Budapest, Hungary | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Movies & TV

(I am working in a cinema as a cashier. It is late at night, a few minutes before midnight. A very pregnant woman comes in.)

Me: “Good evening, madame, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Is [Horror Movie] scary?”

Me: “I don’t know; I haven’t seen it, but I suppose.”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll take one adult ticket.”

Me: “Okay. where do you want to sit?”

Customer: “I would like to sit near the stairs, because I’m in my ninth month and probably I will start labour.”

Me: “Do you want to talk to my manager about it? If you do start labour, won’t that be a problem?”

Customer: “No, thank you. I have three children. It happens all the time!”


Rated ‘R You Serious?’

| USA | Extra Stupid, Movies & TV

(I work at a movie theater.)

Customer: “Two tickets for [R-rated Movie].”

(The customer looks like a young teenager so I’m required to check his ID first.)

Me: “Sure, if your want to buy the tickets I’m just going to have to look at your ID first.”

Customer: “Come on, man. I’m not old enough.”

Me: “I can’t sell them to you, then. Sorry.”

Customer: “Come on, man.”

Me: “Sorry, dude.”

Customer: “Come on, man.”

Me: “I really can’t…”

Customer: “Come on, man!”

His Friend: “Yeah, I don’t think that’s working.”


Acting Childish

| FL, USA | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers

(In this story I am the customer buying two tickets to see a popular new movie with my little sister. Note: I am 16 when this takes place.)

Me: “Two kids tickets for [Popular Movie], please!”

Clerk: *gives me confused look* “How old are you?”

Me: “16, but I’m a child at heart.”

Clerk: *laughs* “And will that be for the [next available movie time]?”

Me: “Yes.”

(Needless to say I didn’t get the child ticket.)


They’re As Cold As Icee

| Oklahoma City, OK, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(The movie theater I work at has a self-serve soda and ICEE machine. We sell separate cups for ICEEs and sodas for inventory reasons. They cost the same, but the ICEE cups are slightly smaller. The lobby is almost empty. My coworker, who is the ticket taker, sees a couple in their mid-thirties filling up their soda cup with an ICEE.)

Coworker: “Hey guys I’m sorry, but you can only put soda in that cup. We have separate ICEE cups.”

Guest: “Um… EXCUSE ME?”

Coworker: “The large ICEE cup costs the same as the large soda cup. I can just switch it out for you real quick.”

Guest: “I’M PAYING YOU, AREN’T I? I’m just saying we should do whatever we want.”

(Guests proceed to dump out their ICEEs all over the floor, fill up their cups again, and then dump *that* all over the floor and storm to their theater.)

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