It’s Show-Crime!

| NY, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Movies & TV

(I’ve sold a ticket to a man for a 4:00 pm show-time. A few minutes later, I see him out of the corner of my eye entering the theater. I should note, it’s not even 1:00 pm yet. There’s an earlier showing of the movie already playing, plus a 2:00 pm showing before the one he bought tickets to. I call a manager who goes into the theater and comes out with the man. I hear the following exchange.)

Manager: “I understand you bought a ticket to the 4:00 pm show-time. If you’d like to see the rest of the current show-time, I’ll have to ask you to exchange your ticket for it or buy a ticket to get in.”

Customer: “But this one is already playing!”

Manager: “I understand, sir.”

Customer: “Why can’t I just go see this one?”

Manager: “Because you didn’t buy a ticket to this show-time.”

Customer: “But I bought a ticket to the 4:00 pm show-time! So I should be able to watch the end of this.”

Manager: “That’s not how that works, sir.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Manager: “Sir, you bought a ticket for a specific show-time. You need to go to that show-time.”

Customer: *acting like he’s the smartest guy in the world* “But I just figured I’d watch the end of this one, then I could also see the two o’clock show-time AND the four o’clock show-time!”

Manager: *taken aback* “Sir, you essentially just told me you’re paying for one show-time, but seeing three movies.”

Customer: *proud* “Yup!”

Manager: “Sir, that’s basically stealing.”

Customer: “How so?”

Manager: “You’re viewing two shows without paying for them!”

Customer: “But how is it stealing? I’m not taking them home.”

Manager: “You’re using a paid service without paying for it.”

Customer: “But it can’t be stealing if I’m not taking the movie home!”

Manager: “Seriously? You’re acquiring and using a service without paying for it. What else would you call it besides stealing of services?”

Customer: *beaming* “Being a smart customer who knows his rights!”

Manager: “Speaking of rights, you know I have the right to kick you out, right?”

Customer: *suddenly bolting towards the exit door* “I’ll be back at four!”

Getting Mustard Flustered

| USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I am training the new guy on how to work a register at the movie theater where I work at. He is doing really well until he gets a very special request.)

Customer: “Hi, one hot dog and some yellow ketchup, please.”

Trainee: “Uh, yellow ketchup?”

Customer: “You know, the yellow ketchup? You put it on hot dogs and cheeseburgers. It’s really tangy and gives you a weird tingle on your tongue.”

Trainee: *very confused* “Do you mean mustard?”

Customer: “No, no, yellow ketchup. It’s really good.” *to me* “You know what I’m talking about right?”

Me: “Oh, of course. I’ll be right back with that.”

(I go to the condiment island and grab a couple packets of mustard and cross off “mustard” and write “yellow ketchup” in sharpie on the packet and give it to the gentleman.)

Me: “Here you go, sir.”

Customer: “Thank you very much; have a wonderful day.”

(The customer walks away and my trainee turns to me.)

Trainee: “But that was just a mustard packet?”

Me: “I’ll tell you one thing from my year of working here: Sometimes you just have to pick your battles.”

Won’t Be Refilling On That Scam Anymore

| Newport, KY, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

(A customer comes into the theater and, as he approaches the concession stand, takes an old, folded-up popcorn bag out of his jacket pocket.)

Me: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “I need a refill.”

Me: “We only offer refills on same day-of-purchase.”

Customer: “I bought this today.”

Me: “Sir, I know that’s not true for three reasons. First, I just saw you come in from outside. Second, this is not the bag we are currently using, and third, you’re the first customer today.”

(He slunk away without a free refill. The customer in question was a chronic scammer who was later banned from the theater.)

Flurries Of Furries

| ME, USA | Bizarre, Movies & TV

(I am working by myself at the box office out in front of the theater when an individual walks in wearing a full wolf costume, head and all.)

Wolf-Man: “Yes, one adult to ‘Zootopia,’ please.”

(However, posted very clearly next to me is a sign saying that we cannot sell tickets to those wearing anything obstructing an individual’s face or any sort of prop weaponry.)

Me: “I’m very sorry, but unfortunately I cannot sell your ticket while you have that mask with you. It is a company policy for the safety of all of our guests.”

(The individual doesn’t take very kindly and, still wearing the wolf head, tells me very sternly:)

Wolf-Man: “This is my head. I am Greypaw the Wolf, and while I am in my fursona, that is who I am, so I would like to buy my ticket, please.”

Me: *gesturing to the sign next to me* “Unfortunately, I can’t let you purchase tickets until you remove the head. I have to ask you to return it to your car before we can complete the transaction.”

Wolf-Man: *still wearing the head and leaning over the counter* “I can smell that you are afraid of me. Just because I am an animal does not mean you need to be afraid. I’m just like you.”

Me: *pretty frustrated* “Sir, I don’t want to ask you to leave, but if you do not remove your mask, I will be forced to. It is a company policy and I have to uphold it.”

(This enrages him, causing him to lean over and growl at me, getting down on his hands and knees for some reason.)

Wolf-Man: “I am not a ‘sir’; I am a wolf and I expect to be addressed as such. I want to see this movie and all you are doing is preventing me because you obviously don’t like that I am not a human like you.”

Me: “Sir, I will gladly sell you the ticket. I’ll even store your mask in box office with me so you can be sure it’s safe. All I need you to do is take it off.”

Wolf-Man: *growled again, this time howling as well* “I am NOT a ‘sir.’ I am a WOLF!”

Me: “Well, I do have to apologize then, but not only do we have a no mask policy, but we do have a no pet policy, so I am going to have to ask you to leave.”

(He finally got the hint and stormed out, mumbling to himself the whole way to the door. Luckily there were no more customers in line as it was a slow day, but I never did see Greypaw again.)

They Don’t Beliebe You

| NY, USA | Movies & TV

(I work in a movie theater. A while back on a Friday afternoon, we were waiting for the next crowd to come in when the phone rang. I answered it.)

Me: “Hi! Thank you for calling [Movie Theater]. How can I help you?”

Caller #1: *clearly a middle-school or high-school-aged girl* “Yeah, is, uh… [Pop Star Concert Movie] showing anytime around eight pm?”

Me: *checking our schedule* “Oh, I’m sorry, but it looks like our theater won’t even be getting that movie. I’m so sorry.”

Caller #1: *shocked* “Why?”

Me: “I can’t know for sure, but I’m guessing it’s because those sorts of movies tend to be very front-loaded here at the theater. Opening weekend, they’ll be packed, but starting the following Monday, attendance drops to near-zero for the rest of the theatrical run here. So we tend not to get those films, as we sometimes lose money on them when nobody shows up after the opening weekend.”

Caller #1: “That doesn’t make any sense. I’m sure you’re going to get it!”

Me: “I’m sorry; it doesn’t look like it’s on the schedule at all during the next week-and-a-half.”

Caller #1: “Oh, okay.”

(The caller hangs up. Less than two minutes later, we get another call. The caller ID in the theater shows the exact same number. I answer.)

Me: “Hi! Thank you for calling [Movie Theater]. How can I help you?”

Caller #1: “When are you showing [Pop Star Concert Movie] tomorrow?”

Me: “I’m sorry. We’re not getting that film. It’s not on our schedule at all.”

Caller #1: “Let me talk to someone else.”

(I hand the phone to a coworker who explains to the caller again that we won’t get the film. My coworker hangs up and informs me that the caller was under the impression that I was lying to them. Less than 30 seconds later, we get a call from another number, and I answer. When I pick up, I can hear the same person who called before in the background. She’s made a friend of hers call!)

Caller #1: *quietly in the background* “Ask them when they’re playing [Pop Star Concert Movie]! They keep lying to me and saying they aren’t getting it.”

Caller #2: *quietly* “Okay.” *louder, directed to me* “Hi, when are you playing [Pop Star Concert Movie]? My friend really wants to see it.”

Me: “I and another coworker have already explained to her twice that it isn’t playing at this theater.”

Caller #2: “But she says it is.”

Me: “…but it isn’t.”

Caller #2: *quietly to her friend* “He says they aren’t playing it.”

Caller #1: *angry* “Yes, they are!”

Caller #2: *to me* “She says you are.”

Me: “Well, then, she can check the schedule online herself. She will clearly see that it isn’t playing here.”

Caller #2: “Okay.”

(She hung up. We got about four more calls throughout the next two hours from both the original and friend’s phone numbers. Our manager finally had to call them back and tell them bluntly to stop calling. We later received a complaint from this same person, who suggested we weren’t showing the film just to “spite” her personally.)

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