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This Happens Showtime And Time Again

| Memphis, TN, USA | Crazy Requests, Movies & TV

(A woman arrives with a large group of children about 30 minutes before we open the front doors. I am in the box office already since people frequently come by to get advance tickets, before any movies actually start, to avoid lines.)

Woman: “Yes, I need one adult and 15 children for [Kid Movie #1]. You all really should have some kind of discount for large groups.”

Me: “Well, we actually do sometimes offer large group discounts, but you have to contact our corporate office to arrange that. If you had informed us you were coming, we could have helped you with it. I can give you the information now in case you come again.”

Woman: *huffing* “Whatever. I’ll just take the tickets for today.”

Me: “Sure.” *upon seeing it doesn’t start for over an hour* “Ma’am, are you aware that movie won’t be starting for another hour? Also, the lobby isn’t open for another 30 minutes, so unfortunately you won’t be able to wait inside for a while.”

Woman: “What?! I checked the times that showed it starting 15 minutes from now!”

(It’s currently 11:30. Typically, movies start at noon or later, but some theaters start at 11:45, so her claim isn’t that odd.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I don’t know what to tell you, but that movie doesn’t start for quite some time.”

Woman: “Your website says it does!”

(I keep our website loaded on my phone for just such occasions as these so I can show people that our website is accurate. I show her my phone.)

Me: “Actually, it doesn’t. See? And, in fact, my ticketing system on this computer is linked directly to our site in order to track online sales. It is not possible for the website to show something different than what I see on my screen. Are you sure you were looking at this theater?”

Woman: “Of course. I’m not an idiot!”

Me: “When did you check, ma’am? Our times change each week as new movies come out.”

Woman: “I checked on Wednesday! I called earlier this week and the girl on the phone told me to check Wednesday!”

Me: *sensing the possibility of another common customer error* “Did you change the date at the top of the screen to today’s date?”

Woman: “Why would I? The girl told me the times would be up Wednesday!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m certain what she meant was that the weekend showtimes would be AVAILABLE on Wednesday, which is true. However, you still have to choose Friday’s date to see Friday’s showtimes.”

Woman: “Well, this is utterly ridiculous! What am I supposed to do now?!”

Me: “Well, we do have [Kids’ Movie #2] seating in…” *checking the time* “…about 20 minutes from now.”

Woman: “No! That’s stupid! We came here to see [Kids’ Movie #1] and that’s what we’re going to see! We’re a big group; just start it now!”

Me: “Unfortunately, we cannot start the movie early just for your group. There will no doubt be other customers arriving to see the movie at the correct time and we don’t want them to walk in halfway through the film.”

Woman: “Just put them in another theater, OBVIOUSLY!”

Me: “Ma’am, you have arrived just before opening. All our auditoriums will be starting a show within the next hour or so, and they are very precisely timed so that the staff has time to clean before the next show starts. There is no other theater to put them in, and if we leave them in the correct theater, but move you and start yours early, it will be on for too long for us to start the next show on time. Additionally, moving a film to another auditorium is a lot of work and would take time, nor am I even sure it’s possible as we’ve recently switched to hard drives and no longer use actual film. Everything is controlled by a system housed in Texas. We cannot just push a button to start the movie because you came at the wrong time.”

Woman: “The girl on the phone told me Wednesday! You guys changed it! That’s not my fault! You should have told me! We need to see the movie now!”

Me: “Of course we changed it; three new films came out today! We had to accommodate them. Who was supposed to have told you? We didn’t know you were coming. You cannot see that movie now. You will either have to wait until it starts, watch [Kids’ Movie #2] now, or come back another time.”

Woman: “Get me your manager!”

(I was inside the enclosed box office so I turned off my speaker and called a manager on the radio, explaining the situation in detail before he talked to the woman and she lied about what happened, as customers do FAR too often to get something free. He let her into the lobby to talk, and I have no idea what was said, but he entered the box a few minutes later with what I assumed was her card and rang up tickets for the show the next day. The group then left.)

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In The Heart Of The Duff

| CA, USA | Bizarre, Movies & TV

(I am working at a movie theater, selling tickets. It’s the afternoon on a weekday, so it’s relatively slow. The phone rings, and I pick it up.)

Me: “Hello, you’ve reached [Theater] at [Location]. How may I help you?”

Woman: “Hello? Hello! Yes! I was looking in the newspaper… You don’t have any show times for that whale movie!”

Me: “That whale movie?” *trying to think of what movies coming up have a whale in them*

Woman: “Yes! I wanted to see the one with the whale…”

Me: “Do you mean Heart of the Sea?”

Woman: “Yes! That’s the one! When I can I see the whale movie?”

Me: “I’m sorry. That movie’s not going to be out for another three months. But I’m sure once it is, we’ll be showing it.”

Woman: “Another three months?” *sadly*

Me: “Yes. It opens in December.”

Woman: “Oh. Well, do you have that Duff movie?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Woman: “Yes. That sweet girl, she was on the Ellen show yesterday?”

Me: “I… didn’t see it.”

Woman: “Oh, she’s just the sweetest girl. She was on Ellen! She’s got a new movie coming out, she said.”

Me: “Do you mean… Hilary Duff?”

Woman: “That’s her! She was on Ellen, and she was just the sweetest girl. I want to see her movie. Ellen said it was good.”

Me: “One moment… I’ll see if we have it.” *drawing a complete blank, I call out on the radio, after putting the woman on hold* “Does anyone know if Hilary Duff has a new movie coming out?”

Manager: “Hilary Duff? The Disney Channel girl?”

Coworker #1: “She was in a Cinderella movie; that’s all I know.”

Coworker #2:Cheaper by the Dozen 2 was YEARS ago.”

Coworker #3:Foodfight was a TERRIBLE movie. We’d never carry that!”

Coworker #4: “Wait, wasn’t she in the Cars sequel?”

Me: *I get the woman off hold* “It doesn’t seem like we have any Hilary Duff movies coming out at our theater any time soon. I’m sorry.”

Coworker #5: “I know she’s done some Rom Coms recently.”

Woman: “Oh, that’s too bad. She was on Ellen yesterday, you know. She was such a nice girl!”

Coworker #6: “You mean She Wants Me? That was ages ago!”

Woman: “Ellen is very funny, you know. She has all the best recommendations.”

Me: “She’s very funny, yes.”

Coworker #7: “Pretty sure she did a made for TV thing, too.”

Woman: “You know, I like to watch Ellen every day, with a tall glass of lemonade, and a big bowl of popcorn. It’s not as good as your popcorn, but it’s still quite fun!”

Me: “I’m sure it is, ma’am. Was there anything—”

Woman: “Sometimes, I write letters to Ellen!”

Manager: “Oh! I saw that one!”

(I had to deal with this poor, lonely woman who clearly just wanted to chat in one ear, and my coworkers discussing Hilary Duff’s resume over the radio in my other, for quite a while after that. Thank goodness it was a dead afternoon!)

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Thinks You’re A Deadfool

| DE, USA | Movies & TV, Underaged

(I am taking tickets at my theater during the opening week of ‘Deadpool’ when two obviously underage teenagers, probably fifteen or so, walk up to me with tickets.)

Me: “Hi! Welcome to [Theater]! Can I take your tickets, please?”

Customers: *hand me tickets*

Me: “Sorry, guys, but Deadpool is rated ‘R.’ I’m going to need to see some ID.”

Customer #1: “What?! But it’s a superhero movie! It’s ‘PG-13!'”

Me: “Nope! We’ve had a couple people think the same thing, but it’s rated ‘R.’ If you don’t have ID, they can switch out your tickets at the box office.”

Customer #2: “But they let us buy the tickets! Are you sure it’s rated ‘R?'”

Me: “Very sure. It says so on the poster right behind you.”

Customer #2: “Well, are you sure the poster’s right?”

(I proceeded to explain that the movie was, in fact, rated what it said on the poster. 20 minutes later, after several attempts to get me to let them into the movie, including a phone call from the customers’ mom, they finally left and got a ticket for a different movie. Security later caught them trying to sneak into ‘Deadpool’ anyway.)