(We sell hot drinks in takeaway cups. We serve them without sugar, and direct customers to the end of the counter where they can add it if they wish. My colleague has just served a woman her coffee:)

Colleague: “Okay, that’s your latte there. Sugar is at the end of the counter if you need it. Enjoy your movie.”

Customer: “Thank you.”

(The customer takes the drink, and goes to the end of the counter, where she puts her cup on an uneven pile of napkins. When she then takes the lid off, the cup tips, and covers the counter and the customer. At this point, my colleague goes over to help clean up.)

Colleague: “Don’t worry. We will get this cleaned up, and I will get you another coffee.”

(After he gets the coffee, the customer asks for a supervisor.)

Customer: “I think you should take responsibility for this accident. I don’t think it’s anyone’s fault, but you should take responsibility.”

Supervisor: “We should take responsibility for you placing your drink on the napkins instead of the counter, and then spilling it on yourself?”

Customer: “Yes!”

(I work at a 12-plex movie theater, but new employees become so flustered they forget this.)

Supervisor: “You know, [Newbie], there are really 13 theaters.”

Newbie: “What? No there isn’t.”

Me: “Sure there is. It’s through the side doors down that hallway.”

Supervisor: “The door to it is a bit hidden, but it’s for special events like employee shows.”

Newbie: “Huh, okay. I have to see this.” *wanders off*

(20 minutes later he came back, angry and embarrassed that he walked outside and around the building for no reason.)

(My sister and I have dragged our parents to all the Harry Potter movies. Our first language is not English, but the two of us can manage without subtitles. Not so our parents, and my mother is very creative at story-telling. At the screening of ‘The Goblet of Fire,’ when Moody gives a hint to Harry as to the path to the center of the maze…)

Sister & I: *excited running commentary, exulting*

Dad: “What’s that maze? What did that one-eyed man mean by nodding to Harry Potter? This is all very difficult.” *to Mom* “Did you understand?”

Mom: “See, there’s Dumbledore near Harry. So the one-eyed chap is asking Harry to get Dumbledore’s blessings by falling at his feet.”

Sister & I: *wide eyed shock at her explanation*

Dad: “Oh. Good.”

(Dad believed it. COMPLETELY.)

(We’ve just gotten out of seeing the ‘300’ sequel in IMAX. After I come out of the bathroom I walk over to my dad as he looks at the cardboard cutout in front of the theater doors.)

Dad: “Yeah, I’d see it again.”

Me: “Eh, I’d wait for DVD.”

Dad: “Didn’t like it?”

Me: “It was okay, but it was so loud I was in the middle of sensory overload half the time.”

Dad: “Yeah, well…”

Me: “Dad. If I can feel the bass in my ribs, it’s too loud.”

(I’m on a first date with somebody I’ve hung out with before as a part of a group, so we really don’t know each other well. He decides to go with a traditional ‘dinner and a movie’ date. There are some awkward moments during dinner, which we both point out. This happens at the movie theater, right before the movie starts.)

Him: “So… how do you feel about the awkward hand over the shoulder thing?”

(Silence…)

Him: “… Probably not now, huh?”

Me: “Yeah, probably not now.”

Him: “Well, I’m okay with the status quo, too. Plus it gets uncomfortable after a while when my arm goes to sleep.”

(We didn’t speak again until the credits.)