Turn That Crown Upside Down

, , , , | Right | February 20, 2010

Me: “Do you have a Crown Club Card?”

Customer: “Crown Club? More like Clown Club! What a worthless program!”

Me: “Actually, if you had a Club Card today, you would get a coupon for a small popcorn for $1.”

Customer: “Where do I sign up?”

1 Thumbs
2,139

2-Dense

, , , , , , | Right | February 16, 2010

Customer: “Hi, I would like four tickets for Avatar 3-D.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, we don’t have projectors capable of 3-D. We are showing Avatar in traditional 2-D. Is that alright?”

Customer: “Oh, so, no 3-D? Sure! Thanks for letting me know!”

Me: “No problem, sir. That will be $31.50.”

(The customer pays for the four tickets.)

Me: “Thank you very much. Enjoy your show!”

Customer: “Thanks! Now, where do we get our 2-D glasses?”


This story is part of the American States roundup!

Want to read the next story? Click here!

Want to read the roundup? Click here!

1 Thumbs
2,590

Pray He Doesn’t Sit Behind You

, , , | Right | February 14, 2010

(An old couple approach the auditorium I am ushering.)

Me: “I’m sorry, madam, outside food and drinks are not allowed into our auditoriums. I’ll have to ask you to please dispose of these cups before you can go in.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. No problem.”

(She throws away one of two cups into the garbage, and proceeds to walk in with the other one.)

Me: “I’m sorry, you need to get rid of both of these drinks.”

Customer: *points to her husband who is well on his way into the auditorium* “Oh, there’s nothing in that cup. That’s just for him to spit in.”

1 Thumbs
1,688

Pray It’s Not Sold Out At Times Square

, , , , | Right | February 8, 2010

Customer: “Two senior tickets for [Film].”

Me: “I’m sorry, we’re no longer playing that film.”

Customer: “What? But you were playing it yesterday!”

Me: “Well, we usually get new movies on Friday.”

Customer: “My friend looked online and it said it was playing here.”

Me: “What website did you friend go to? Did it say the film would be playing here on Friday? Sometimes the websites get the movie listings wrong.”

Customer: “This is outrageous! I’m a native New Yorker and if this was New York, you’d be shot!”

1 Thumbs
2,095

Elementary, My Dear Mr Darcy

, , , | Right | January 11, 2010

Customer: “I want a refund! Sherlock Holmes was possibly the worst film adaptation of a Jane Austin book I’ve ever seen!”

Me:Sherlock Holmes was not written by Jane Austen. It was written by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.”

Customer: “I thought there was something odd about it. Well, I guess it really is nothing at all like her other books. Silly me!”

1 Thumbs
2,941