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Learn How To Stick To Your Guns

| Working | January 1, 2015

(One of our coworkers is a hardcore conservative, which would be all right if he appeared to actually have his own opinions rather than just what his father had been telling him.)

Coworker #1: “So, I saw you posted a lot of stuff about gun control on your Facebook page. How do you feel about i?.”

Coworker #2: “Gun control is bad.”

Manager: “So you think anybody should be able to have a gun?”

Coworker #2: “No, there should be screening and background checks.”

Me: *facepalm* “That is gun control!”

Lapping Up The Horror

| Friendly | December 29, 2014

(My friend and I both love horror movies and try to see as many as we can. We’re at the local cinema and are about to sit down to see one. There’s four girls sitting on the same row as us. We’re also girls.)

Friend: “Hey, [My Name], can you sit next to them? You know how I dislike sitting next to strangers.”

Me: “Sure, it doesn’t matter to me.”

(We sit down, my friend to my right and the group of strangers to my left. Being used to horror movies and having an odd sense of humor, we laugh a lot at the scary scenes. The girls to our left are more jumpy, but we don’t think about it, until a sudden scare.)

Girl To My Left: “Ahh!”

(Something hits my lap. I look down, and the girl directly to my left has been so scared, she ducked to the side for safety – ending up with her head in my lap. I burst out laughing, as does my friend. The other girl looks up, and upon discovering she just threw herself at a complete stranger, looks mortified. Her friends start laughing, as well.)

Girl To My Left: *sits up* “I am soooo sorry! God, I didn’t mean to. I am so sorry!”

Me: *still laughing* “It’s fine; I understand why you did it. No problem.”

Girl To My Left: “Sorry again!” *turns to her friends* “I thought one of you were sitting there!”

(We all turned our attention back to the movie, still chuckling. That’s one way to deal with a scary scene in a movie!)

A Thankless Job

, , | Right | December 29, 2014

(I work at a movie theater and always volunteer to work Thanksgiving so I can get Christmas off. Every year without fail:)

Customer: “Oh, I am so sorry that you have to work on Thanksgiving! I can’t believe you’re actually working!”

Me: “Because people like YOU are here to see movies. If you feel so bad, go home.”


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Deck The Halls With Mismanagement

| Working | December 27, 2014

(The holidays are fast approaching.)

Manager: “Are you working tomorrow?”

Me: “Yeah, why?”

Manager: “Because tomorrow, [Owner’s Wife] wants us to put up Christmas decorations.”

Me: *groan* “Can’t I just clean something instead?”

Manager: “I don’t have anything that needs cleaning… Actually, I do, but she wants us to do this.”

Me: “But my mom always says you should clean first before putting up Christmas decorations.”

Manager: “That’s because your mother actually makes sense. This is [Owner’s Wife] we’re talking about. If your house was on fire, your mother would probably make you get outside. If the theater was on fire, [Owner’s Wife] would probably make you clean something.”

(Sadly, I couldn’t argue with that.)


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Not A Regular Response

| Right | December 15, 2014

(I’m at the ticket booth ordering my ticket for the movie. I happen to be 57 years old.)

Me: “One for [Movie], please.”

Ticketer: “Senior or regular?”

Me: “Uh, ummm… uh… regular.”

Ticketer: “Seven dollars, please.”

Me: “You know, when you ask a senior if he’s regular that has a different meaning. I may be a senior but I’m regular.”

Ticketer: *smiles*