Your ID Expectations Are Out Of Key

| England, UK | Right | October 21, 2016

Guest: “Hi, I’d like a ticket to The Inbetweeners 2?”

Me: “Sure. Can I see some ID, please?”

Guest: “ID? Why?”

Me: “This film is a 15 Certificate, so we ID anyone who looks under around 18.”

Guest: “Is [Coworker] in?”

Me: “Uh, no?”

Guest: “Because I know [Coworker]. He’d let me in.”

Me: “He’s not in, and even so, we need valid ID, I’m afraid.”

Guest: “But I have car keys!” *waves car keys*

Me: “Oh, so you have your driving license with you?”

Guest: “No, but I have car keys! So I’m over 17!”

Me: “…”

(It happens all the time, from people offering to state their GCSE results, to saying they’ve ‘seen the film before.’)

Question Their Need For A Ticket

| NY, USA | Right | October 7, 2016

(I’m working box office. A woman chatting on her cell-phone approaches me, chatting away.)

Woman: *on phone* “…yeah, uh-huh. That’s what I told him! I know, he won’t listen.”

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Theater]. How can I help you?”

Woman: *on phone* “He’s just being stubborn. You know him. He’s always like this.”

(She continues on for almost ten seconds before looking over to me.)

Woman: *quickly* “Two tickets.” *she immediately goes back to talking*

Me: *awkwardly trying to find my way in* “Two tickets to what, ma’am?”

Woman: *on phone* “Hold up one sec, okay?” *to me* “What?”

Me: “What would you like two tickets to?”

Woman: *scoffing/frustrated* “[Movie].”

Me: *gesturing to our assigned seating chart* “And where would you like to sit?”

Woman: *back on phone* “Yeah, sorry, I’m at the movies. Oh, I know. I haven’t been here in so long. But I’m seeing [Movie] later. I heard it’s pretty good. You should come!”

(She continues talking for almost a full minute while I repeatedly re-ask her where she’d like to sit. Eventually, she puts her phone down for one second and turns to me, and instantly her eyes are fuming with anger.)

Woman: *shouting* “I do NOT like to be ASKED so many f****** QUESTIONS! SHUT IT!”

(It takes almost another full two minutes for the transaction to continue when she finally ends the call.)

Woman: *glaring* “What the h*** did you need so badly to interrupt me?!”

Me: “I need to know where you’d like to sit. Which seats would you like?”

Woman: “Didn’t I f****** ALREADY SAY that I don’t like to be ASKED f****** questions? This is f****** ridiculous!”

(She stormed off without buying her tickets. I’m still confused as to how she expected to get through life without being asked questions, or how she managed when her phone needed to be plugged in to charge for an hour or two, given how important it evidently was to her.)

Makes No Concessions With That Deal

| England, UK | Working | September 6, 2016

(We haven’t been to the cinema for years mainly due to the high prices; however, our daughter is old enough to sit through a film and a family movie is airing and we decide to go. We have paid for our tickets and are browsing the concession stand.)

Worker: “Can I help you?”

Me: “Just these sweets, please.”

Worker: “Can I interest you in some popcorn?”

Me: “One small sweet, please.”

Worker: “We have some great deals on at the moment.”

Me: “No, thanks.”

Worker: *enthusiastically* “If you buy a drink and some popcorn, it’s a special deal. Hot food, popcorn, and a drink has even more savings!”

Me: “Just the popcorn and sweets, thanks.”

Worker: “Are you sure? You will miss out on the great savings.”

Me: “Uh, fine, I’ll bite. How much do I save?”

Worker: “Well a drink and a popcorn is £6.99.”

Me: “Hang on, how much do I save?”

Worker: “I, err, well…” *working it out* “5p!”

Me: “No, thanks, I think we will pass.”

Worker: “Are you sure?”

(We didn’t take the “great” savings in the end, despite him trying to sell it like the deal of the century.)

About To Start A Star Trek War, Part 2

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Friendly | September 3, 2016

(It’s the night of the premiere of Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Naturally, there’s a large number of people dressed up like Star Wars characters. I then notice someone dressed up like one of the crew from Star Trek: The Next Generation.)

Me: “You, sir, are a very brave man.”

Related:
About To Start A Star Trek War

Going To Racism At Break-Neck(lace) Speed

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Right | August 28, 2016

(I work as an usher, and one of my duties is to clean up the theater once it lets out. I am also black.)

Manager: *answering the phone* “Hello? This is [Manager]. How can I help you?”

Customer: ‘Yes, I was at the theater the other day and I lost my necklace. I think that black usher took it.”

Manager: “Okay, ma’am. I’m sorry you lost your necklace, but I’m pretty sure he didn’t take it.”

Customer: “But he’s always cleaning out the theaters once the movie is over. He had to have come across it.”

Manager: “Yes, that’s his job, and anything he finds, he turns in up front.”

Customer: “Just confront him about it. I’m pretty sure that he has it.”

(A few days later, she calls back.)

Manager: “Hello, this is [Manager]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I would like to apologize. I called the other day about losing a necklace, and I thought that your usher took it. Turns out it was in the bottom of my purse the whole time.”

Manager: “Ah, I see…’

Customer: ‘Um… he didn’t get into any trouble over this, did he?”

Manager: “No, because I trust him.”

(He didn’t even tell me about any of this until some time later.)

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