It’s Show-Crime!

| NY, USA | Right | March 14, 2017

(I’ve sold a ticket to a man for a 4:00 pm show-time. A few minutes later, I see him out of the corner of my eye entering the theater. I should note, it’s not even 1:00 pm yet. There’s an earlier showing of the movie already playing, plus a 2:00 pm showing before the one he bought tickets to. I call a manager who goes into the theater and comes out with the man. I hear the following exchange.)

Manager: “I understand you bought a ticket to the 4:00 pm show-time. If you’d like to see the rest of the current show-time, I’ll have to ask you to exchange your ticket for it or buy a ticket to get in.”

Customer: “But this one is already playing!”

Manager: “I understand, sir.”

Customer: “Why can’t I just go see this one?”

Manager: “Because you didn’t buy a ticket to this show-time.”

Customer: “But I bought a ticket to the 4:00 pm show-time! So I should be able to watch the end of this.”

Manager: “That’s not how that works, sir.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Manager: “Sir, you bought a ticket for a specific show-time. You need to go to that show-time.”

Customer: *acting like he’s the smartest guy in the world* “But I just figured I’d watch the end of this one, then I could also see the two o’clock show-time AND the four o’clock show-time!”

Manager: *taken aback* “Sir, you essentially just told me you’re paying for one show-time, but seeing three movies.”

Customer: *proud* “Yup!”

Manager: “Sir, that’s basically stealing.”

Customer: “How so?”

Manager: “You’re viewing two shows without paying for them!”

Customer: “But how is it stealing? I’m not taking them home.”

Manager: “You’re using a paid service without paying for it.”

Customer: “But it can’t be stealing if I’m not taking the movie home!”

Manager: “Seriously? You’re acquiring and using a service without paying for it. What else would you call it besides stealing of services?”

Customer: *beaming* “Being a smart customer who knows his rights!”

Manager: “Speaking of rights, you know I have the right to kick you out, right?”

Customer: *suddenly bolting towards the exit door* “I’ll be back at four!”

Won’t Be Refilling On That Scam Anymore

| Newport, KY, USA | Right | March 9, 2017

(A customer comes into the theater and, as he approaches the concession stand, takes an old, folded-up popcorn bag out of his jacket pocket.)

Me: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “I need a refill.”

Me: “We only offer refills on same day-of-purchase.”

Customer: “I bought this today.”

Me: “Sir, I know that’s not true for three reasons. First, I just saw you come in from outside. Second, this is not the bag we are currently using, and third, you’re the first customer today.”

(He slunk away without a free refill. The customer in question was a chronic scammer who was later banned from the theater.)

More Into Stranger Things

| USA | Related | March 7, 2017

(My brother and I have different tastes in movies, but we go to the theater anyway.)

Brother: “I wanna watch Dr. Strange!”

Me: “I don’t wanna watch a movie about a strange doctor! Those are boring. Like Dr. Frankenstein.”

Brother: “No, it’s a superhero movie.”

Me: “Oh. Still. What’s his power, strangeness?”

Brother: “I don’t know. But I doubt it.”

(I finally agreed since he paid. The movie was actually okay for a movie about a strange doctor!)

Report Back To Your Panic Station

| UK | Working | March 7, 2017

(I have quite severe anxiety that I’ve been honest about with certain managers since day one. Though I’ve gotten better through their support and encouragement, I do have a tendency to fixate on things and blow them way out of proportion and have on more than one occasion driven myself to hysteria over the tiniest issues. Meanwhile many of the staff have a slightly twisted sense of humour.)

Manager: “Hey, [My Name], I need to have a word with you.”

(It’s quiet and managers will often inform us of minor changes on our areas in person so I think nothing of it and come away from the front of the area.)

Me: “What is it?”

Manager: “There’s no easy way of saying this but… we’ve had a few complaints from other staff about your conduct and the things you’ve been saying and frankly we think it’s outrageous and unacceptable.”

(I’d recently had a few disagreements with a coworker over some of the horrible things they’d been saying and the fact they often won’t leave me alone, and instantly assume he’s gone to the managers about me.)

Me: *seconds away from a full on panic attack and trying not to cry as I worry I’m about to be fired* “Wha-? Bu-? I-?”

Manager: *starts laughing* “Just kidding, I’m just here to check your till.”

(It’s too late by this point and despite not being in trouble, in my head I’ve already been fired, denied about 30 other jobs, lost my flat, and ended up on the street because I can’t pay my bills.)

Me: *bursts into tears*

Manager: “Whoa! What’s the matter?”

Me: *through hysterical sobbing* “I thought you we-were about to fi- fire me.”

Manager: “Crap.” *over radio* “Hey, [Coworker], can you come to [area] for a second?”

(He guided me to behind the area, out of the customers’ view, and once my coworker arrived he asked her to help me calm down while he continued to serve at the area. It took about twenty minutes for me to calm down enough to go back to work. At the end of my shift the manager asked me to come into the office where he apologised for making me panic and promised to watch how he spoke to me in the future. Even though he freaked me out worse than anyone else, the way he reacted still makes him my favourite manager ever.)

Comeback Back At Ya

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Working | February 18, 2017

(My manager and I are having a disagreement on how to cook popcorn. He claims that if we prepared it the way I did, it would come out burnt. After some debate, we try both ways. We examine the batch after my method.)

Me: “It looks fine to me.”

Manager: “YOU look fine to me!”

Me: “Oh, well, thank you.”

Manager: “Wait… d*** it!”

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