Popcorn Folorn

| Napa, CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I am serving popcorn to customers. It’s kind of slow since it’s close to closing. A customer comes up to me and my co-worker:)

Customer: “Hey, don’t you guys have free popcorn after nine?”

Me: “Uh… no.”

Coworker: “Yeah, no.”

Customer: “Oh, I mean after 9:15, and oh, look, it’s 9:15.”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “No? D***!” *walks out of the theatre*

Coworker: “What just happened?”

Can’t Deal With Regular Life

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

(This is my first job ever. I’m working concessions when a certain older gentleman who is a well-known actor comes to my counter with his lady friend.)

Guest: “I’ll have a small popcorn please.”

Me: “One regular popcorn. That’ll be $4.25.”

Guest: “I said I’d like a small popcorn. Not a regular size.”

Me: “I’m sorry. Regular is our smallest size.”

Guest: “But you just said I could have a small popcorn. I don’t want to pay for a regular when I ordered a small.”

Me: “Yes, sir. If you look at the display behind me you’ll see our popcorn bags with the three sizes displayed: regular, large, and extra large. It’s really just a name to make them seem bigger, but they are essentially small, medium, and large respectively.”

Guest: “But I just want a small popcorn! I don’t understand of any of this. I just can’t. I can’t DEAL with this.” *to lady* “Can you please? I’ve just got to go sit down.”

Me: “I’m so sorry for the confusion, ma’am.”

Lady: “Oh, don’t worry about him. He’s just getting old. Thank you for being so patient. So a small popcorn?”

Me: “Coming right up.”

(We shared a laugh.)

Entranced By The Exit

| PA, USA | Extra Stupid

(My son works at a drive-in theater. I drive him to work and pull in the exit/employee entrance. There are multiple signs “DO NOT ENTER” “EXIT” “EMPLOYEES ONLY”. A woman follows us in.)

Son: “You can’t come in this way. I need you to go back out and come in the entrance.”

Woman: “Where do I pay?”

Son: “At the entrance.”

Woman: “I didn’t see anyone.”

Son: “You came in the exit. You need to come in the entrance.”

Woman: “But I followed YOU!”

Son: *points to shirt that says STAFF* “I work here so I can come in the employee entrance. My mom is leaving; you can follow her out.”

Woman: “But where do I go?!”

(By this time the owner has come out to see what is taking him so long.)

Owner: “You go out the exit and look for the six-foot-high sign that says ENTRANCE.”

Woman: “You mean the one with all the lights?”

Owner: “Yes.”

Woman: “How was I supposed to know? All I saw was DO NOT ENTER. I should get in free. This is too confusing.”

Moms Of Gall Street

| New Zealand | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Family & Kids, Movies & TV

(I am a cinema attendant at a movie theatre. A woman and her clearly young teenaged kids approach me and hand over tickets for Wolf of Wall Street.)

Me: *looking at the two young kids* “Um, boys, do you have any ID?”

Woman: “Why do they need ID?”

Me: “Because it is an R18 restricted film, and they look far under age. Legally we have to ask.”

Woman: “I’m their mother, so it doesn’t matter. I give them permission to see this.”

Me: “Well, no, I can’t actually allow them to enter, ma’am. It’s law that unless they are over 18, with valid ID, they can’t actually go into the movie, parental consent or not.”

Woman: “Oh, my God, are you kidding me? I’m their mother, and I say they are over 18!”

Me: *not convinced* “I still need valid ID.”

Woman: “They are over 18. Don’t you believe their d*** mother?”

Me: *facing the kids again, as the woman is getting agitated* “Boys, what are your birthdates?”

(Both boys struggle for a while to remember when they are born, one answering at being 16 years old and the other at 23, most obviously NOT being 23.)

Me: “I’m sorry; I can’t let you into the movie, boys. You’re not 18, and it’s a pretty hard restriction.”

Woman: “I paid for these tickets, so you will let us into the movie theatre! They let us buy them downstairs without this bull-s***!”

Me: “These are pink Kiosk tickets from the machine. The machine clearly states the restriction, with a warning that you will be checked for ID upstairs. You can return downstairs to swap them for another movie.”

Woman: “I don’t want to f***ing swap to another movie! We want to watch this one!”

(At this point I’m about to use my walkie to contact my manager and let them know to come up to sort out the customer, when the another customer interjects.)

Customer: “Lady, I don’t know how this girl talked to you without throwing you out on your a**. What kind of a mother are you, letting your young boys in to watch a movie about sex, drugs, hookers and h*** knows what else?! Take your tickets, go watch something else, or just plain p*** off!”

(The woman was stunned for a while, before taking off to get her tickets changed. I called to the desk to let them know she was coming and what had happened. She tried to get a full refund and free tickets for the ‘terrible service and inconvenience.’ She was refused.)

Enough To Make You Almost Pop Your Corn

| NY, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I work at a movie theater. We are offering a special promotional coupon where customers can buy a large popcorn and drink combo, and get a second large drink for free. I am approached by an elderly couple.)

Husband: *handing me a coupon for the promotional deal* “I want two!”

Me: “All right, sir. Just to double-check, did you mean you wanted two combos, or the single combo with two drinks?”

Husband: *scoffs* “Do I stutter, kid? We want two of these combos!”

Me: “…Okay. What would you like for your four drinks?”

Wife: “Four drinks?! We only want one, you idiot!”

Me: “I apologize; I thought you wanted two of the combos.”

Husband: “We do!”

Me: “Two combos would mean you’d end up with four drinks… Each combo comes with one large popcorn and two large drinks.”

Wife: “But we only want one!”

Me: “Okay.”

Husband: “Yeah… two combos!”

Me: “I’m really not understanding… How many combos do you want?”

Husband: “Two combos!”

Me: “So, what would you like for the four drinks that come with the two combos?”

Wife: “Where are you getting four drinks from?! Just the two combos! What are you, dense?!”

Husband: “Stop wasting my time, you stupid idiot!”

Wife: “We want one!”

Me: “…So, you just want the one combo with the two drinks?”

Husband: “TWO COMBOS!”

Wife: “With the one!”

Husband: “Exactly, two combos!”

Me: *by this point, I’m just assuming they mean they want one combo with two drinks* “Okay… what would you like to drink?”

Wife: “I want one Coke!”

Me: “And what else?”

(Neither one answer for almost a full 30 seconds.)

Me: “Sir, what other soda would you like?”

(Neither answers for another 10 seconds.)

Husband: *suddenly* “Why aren’t you getting our two combos?!”

Me: “Sir, I need to know what else you’d like to drink.”


Me: “Okay.”

(I get a large popcorn and large coke and bring them to the couple.)

Husband: “Where’s our second soda combo?!”

Me: “Sir, you only told me one drink.”

Husband: “But we got two combos!”

Me: “SIR. I. Need. To. Know. What. You. Want. Before. I. Can. Get. It. For. You. You only told me one soda.”

Husband: “Two f****** combos!”

(This back and forth continues for another 30 seconds, before I just decide to get them another large Coke to get it over with.)

Me: “That will be $14.”

Husband: “Is this two combos?”

Me: *lying to get the transaction done* “…Sure.”

Husband: “Fine. Took you long enough. Now, where’s our free soda?”

Me: “It’s right here, sir. I just gave it to you.”

Husband: “Oh.”

Me: “So, that’ll be $14.”

Husband: “But this is supposed to be special coupon! Why does it cost so much?”

Me: “Our popcorn and soda combo is $14. We gave you the second soda for free, as per the coupon. Without the coupon, the order would’ve been $19.”

Husband: “…Well, that’s too much. This only should cost me a few dollars!”

Me: “I don’t know what to tell you, sir. We need to have prices that high for the theater to make any money. We don’t get to keep much, if any, of ticket sales.”

Husband: *throws his credit card at me* “Fine!”

(I complete the transaction and they finally leave. Immediately after, a 20-something approaches me.)

New Customer: “…You know, I looked up how much it costs theaters to make popcorn. Popcorn should really only cost customers—”

Me: *interrupting* “Trust me… Today is NOT the day to complain to me about prices. Did you see that exchange that just happened with the couple who was just here?”

New Customer: “Yeah?”

Me: “That’s unfortunately not the first time something that prolonged and stupid that has happened to me today… not even the first time this hour. In fact, not even the first time in the past 10 minutes.”

New Customer: “…Oh.”

Me: “So if you’re only here to complain and not to buy something… please leave my line.”

(He left after seeing just how serious I was.)

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