Makes No Concessions With That Deal

| England, UK | Working | September 6, 2016

(We haven’t been to the cinema for years mainly due to the high prices; however, our daughter is old enough to sit through a film and a family movie is airing and we decide to go. We have paid for our tickets and are browsing the concession stand.)

Worker: “Can I help you?”

Me: “Just these sweets, please.”

Worker: “Can I interest you in some popcorn?”

Me: “One small sweet, please.”

Worker: “We have some great deals on at the moment.”

Me: “No, thanks.”

Worker: *enthusiastically* “If you buy a drink and some popcorn, it’s a special deal. Hot food, popcorn, and a drink has even more savings!”

Me: “Just the popcorn and sweets, thanks.”

Worker: “Are you sure? You will miss out on the great savings.”

Me: “Uh, fine, I’ll bite. How much do I save?”

Worker: “Well a drink and a popcorn is £6.99.”

Me: “Hang on, how much do I save?”

Worker: “I, err, well…” *working it out* “5p!”

Me: “No, thanks, I think we will pass.”

Worker: “Are you sure?”

(We didn’t take the “great” savings in the end, despite him trying to sell it like the deal of the century.)

About To Start A Star Trek War, Part 2

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Friendly | September 3, 2016

(It’s the night of the premiere of Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Naturally, there’s a large number of people dressed up like Star Wars characters. I then notice someone dressed up like one of the crew from Star Trek: The Next Generation.)

Me: “You, sir, are a very brave man.”

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About To Start A Star Trek War

Going To Racism At Break-Neck(lace) Speed

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Right | August 28, 2016

(I work as an usher, and one of my duties is to clean up the theater once it lets out. I am also black.)

Manager: *answering the phone* “Hello? This is [Manager]. How can I help you?”

Customer: ‘Yes, I was at the theater the other day and I lost my necklace. I think that black usher took it.”

Manager: “Okay, ma’am. I’m sorry you lost your necklace, but I’m pretty sure he didn’t take it.”

Customer: “But he’s always cleaning out the theaters once the movie is over. He had to have come across it.”

Manager: “Yes, that’s his job, and anything he finds, he turns in up front.”

Customer: “Just confront him about it. I’m pretty sure that he has it.”

(A few days later, she calls back.)

Manager: “Hello, this is [Manager]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I would like to apologize. I called the other day about losing a necklace, and I thought that your usher took it. Turns out it was in the bottom of my purse the whole time.”

Manager: “Ah, I see…’

Customer: ‘Um… he didn’t get into any trouble over this, did he?”

Manager: “No, because I trust him.”

(He didn’t even tell me about any of this until some time later.)

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Service With A Smile

| Surrey, England, UK | Right | August 27, 2016

(I’ve just had a customer complain because I informed her she was waiting at an unmanned till while serving other customers. She complained to the manager, by which time she’s accusing me of being rude, something that struck everyone who heard as out of character.)

Manager: “I had a rather loud woman complain about you telling her to go to the queue.”

Me: “[Colleague on the ice cream stand] is on break, and it’s not fair on those waiting in the queue to jump it to serve her.”

Manager: “That’s what I thought; did you apologise for the inconvenience?”

Me: “I always break these things with, ‘I’m sorry’ but I guess she didn’t like the fact I was serving other customers at the same time.”

Manager: “Then there’s nothing you need to worry about. Well, there is one thing.”

Me: “Huh?”

Manager: “I’m not letting you back on the front line without a smile.”

(I admit, that made me laugh.)

A New Landmark In Entitlement

| Edinburgh, Scotland, UK | Right | August 26, 2016

(I am the manager of a 102-year-old cinema which is a landmark in Edinburgh. We happen to have a film on which is bringing in a lot of people that don’t usually come to our cinema. At the end of this film, I go in to clean the auditorium and see a man dumping the remains of a bag of crisps, which he’s brought in from outside, onto the floor.)

Me: “Sir, you’re welcome to put that right in my bin bag”

(He continues dumping the crumbs on the floor.)

Man: “I paid for these and don’t want any of you eating the leftovers.”

Me: ”…”

(I was so surprised I just stood there while he walked away. All too late, I thought of many witty come-backs!)

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