Flurries Of Furries

| ME, USA | Bizarre, Movies & TV

(I am working by myself at the box office out in front of the theater when an individual walks in wearing a full wolf costume, head and all.)

Wolf-Man: “Yes, one adult to ‘Zootopia,’ please.”

(However, posted very clearly next to me is a sign saying that we cannot sell tickets to those wearing anything obstructing an individual’s face or any sort of prop weaponry.)

Me: “I’m very sorry, but unfortunately I cannot sell your ticket while you have that mask with you. It is a company policy for the safety of all of our guests.”

(The individual doesn’t take very kindly and, still wearing the wolf head, tells me very sternly:)

Wolf-Man: “This is my head. I am Greypaw the Wolf, and while I am in my fursona, that is who I am, so I would like to buy my ticket, please.”

Me: *gesturing to the sign next to me* “Unfortunately, I can’t let you purchase tickets until you remove the head. I have to ask you to return it to your car before we can complete the transaction.”

Wolf-Man: *still wearing the head and leaning over the counter* “I can smell that you are afraid of me. Just because I am an animal does not mean you need to be afraid. I’m just like you.”

Me: *pretty frustrated* “Sir, I don’t want to ask you to leave, but if you do not remove your mask, I will be forced to. It is a company policy and I have to uphold it.”

(This enrages him, causing him to lean over and growl at me, getting down on his hands and knees for some reason.)

Wolf-Man: “I am not a ‘sir’; I am a wolf and I expect to be addressed as such. I want to see this movie and all you are doing is preventing me because you obviously don’t like that I am not a human like you.”

Me: “Sir, I will gladly sell you the ticket. I’ll even store your mask in box office with me so you can be sure it’s safe. All I need you to do is take it off.”

Wolf-Man: *growled again, this time howling as well* “I am NOT a ‘sir.’ I am a WOLF!”

Me: “Well, I do have to apologize then, but not only do we have a no mask policy, but we do have a no pet policy, so I am going to have to ask you to leave.”

(He finally got the hint and stormed out, mumbling to himself the whole way to the door. Luckily there were no more customers in line as it was a slow day, but I never did see Greypaw again.)

They Don’t Beliebe You

| NY, USA | Movies & TV

(I work in a movie theater. A while back on a Friday afternoon, we were waiting for the next crowd to come in when the phone rang. I answered it.)

Me: “Hi! Thank you for calling [Movie Theater]. How can I help you?”

Caller #1: *clearly a middle-school or high-school-aged girl* “Yeah, is, uh… [Pop Star Concert Movie] showing anytime around eight pm?”

Me: *checking our schedule* “Oh, I’m sorry, but it looks like our theater won’t even be getting that movie. I’m so sorry.”

Caller #1: *shocked* “Why?”

Me: “I can’t know for sure, but I’m guessing it’s because those sorts of movies tend to be very front-loaded here at the theater. Opening weekend, they’ll be packed, but starting the following Monday, attendance drops to near-zero for the rest of the theatrical run here. So we tend not to get those films, as we sometimes lose money on them when nobody shows up after the opening weekend.”

Caller #1: “That doesn’t make any sense. I’m sure you’re going to get it!”

Me: “I’m sorry; it doesn’t look like it’s on the schedule at all during the next week-and-a-half.”

Caller #1: “Oh, okay.”

(The caller hangs up. Less than two minutes later, we get another call. The caller ID in the theater shows the exact same number. I answer.)

Me: “Hi! Thank you for calling [Movie Theater]. How can I help you?”

Caller #1: “When are you showing [Pop Star Concert Movie] tomorrow?”

Me: “I’m sorry. We’re not getting that film. It’s not on our schedule at all.”

Caller #1: “Let me talk to someone else.”

(I hand the phone to a coworker who explains to the caller again that we won’t get the film. My coworker hangs up and informs me that the caller was under the impression that I was lying to them. Less than 30 seconds later, we get a call from another number, and I answer. When I pick up, I can hear the same person who called before in the background. She’s made a friend of hers call!)

Caller #1: *quietly in the background* “Ask them when they’re playing [Pop Star Concert Movie]! They keep lying to me and saying they aren’t getting it.”

Caller #2: *quietly* “Okay.” *louder, directed to me* “Hi, when are you playing [Pop Star Concert Movie]? My friend really wants to see it.”

Me: “I and another coworker have already explained to her twice that it isn’t playing at this theater.”

Caller #2: “But she says it is.”

Me: “…but it isn’t.”

Caller #2: *quietly to her friend* “He says they aren’t playing it.”

Caller #1: *angry* “Yes, they are!”

Caller #2: *to me* “She says you are.”

Me: “Well, then, she can check the schedule online herself. She will clearly see that it isn’t playing here.”

Caller #2: “Okay.”

(She hung up. We got about four more calls throughout the next two hours from both the original and friend’s phone numbers. Our manager finally had to call them back and tell them bluntly to stop calling. We later received a complaint from this same person, who suggested we weren’t showing the film just to “spite” her personally.)

Pig-Headed About The Tickets

| USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Movies & TV

(It’s a very busy day with a popular new family film playing. As many customers now simply pre-order tickets online and print them off at the box office, things are going smoothly, until a man and his four kids approach me. He puts his phone down, displaying a screenshot of the QR code we have to scan to print. I try scanning it three times, but I keep getting an error message, so I try manually entering the confirmation number twice. It doesn’t work either time.)

Me: “Hmm… Any chance you can show me the confirmation e-mail on your phone, sir? If I see it, I can probably just let you in without having to print tickets.”

Customer: “Sure.”

(He brings up the email and I instantly notice the error… he’s bought tickets for the wrong theater.)

Me: “Oh, jeez. I’m sorry, sir, but you’ve actually bought tickets from [Competitor]. Thankfully, your show doesn’t begin for nearly twenty minutes, so you might be able to make it just in time if you head over there now.”

Customer: “Just print ‘em out and I’ll see it here.”

Me: “Unfortunately, sir, I can’t do that.”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “Because you bought tickets from our competitor. I can’t print your tickets out as our system won’t recognize them.”

Customer: “But I spent $40 on tickets!”

Me: “I’m really sorry, but I really can’t give you these tickets.”

Customer: “Just let me in for free, then.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t do that, sir.”

Customer: “But I spent money on tickets! Moolah! Cash! Now you’re telling me I can’t have the tickets I bought!”

Me: “You certainly can, sir. They can be redeemed at the theater you purchased them from. But I won’t be able to honor your purchase here as you bought tickets from our competitor.”

Customer: *becoming aggressive* “Well, tough. I’m not getting back into my car and driving over there. I’m already here. Why won’t you give me the tickets I purchased?”

Me: “Sir… you bought tickets from our competitor. I have absolutely no way of printing them out here.”

Customer: “Just do your f****** job!”

Me: “If you want, I can get you a manager.”

Customer: “Fine. If you’re not going to help me, you bet I’m gonna get your a** fired!”

(I summon a manager who then spends nearly five minutes trying to explain to him that we have no way to redeem the tickets he purchased. He has started to blame me, and demand I be fired because in his mind, it’s my fault he bought tickets to the wrong theater. Of course my manager refuses. At one point, to try and calm him down, we offer him some free popcorn vouchers, and he finally concedes to buy tickets for the showtime at our theater. My manager rings him out, not wanting me to have to deal with him, as he’s continuing to demand I be fired or punished. A few hours later, he walks up to me right as he’s leaving…)

Customer: “Thanks for making me waste $40, you fat hog!”

(He then made pig oinking noises at me, and glared at me as he walked out of the door. Yes, he actually oinked at me… a man who was at least in his mid 40s, making fun of a guy in his 20s, because HE bought the wrong tickets.)

Gunning For A Punchline

| NY, USA | Bad Behavior

(Our theater has a “No Weapons” sign outside.)

Customer: “I saw you had a ‘no weapons’ sign out front?”

Me: “Yup. We put that up due to the recent tragedies that have occurred at theaters.”

Customer: *snarky* “Well, how do you know I don’t have a gun under my shirt? I could be packing heat!”

Me: “Well, sir… I’d call the police to inform them of any guest whom I might be suspicious of.”

Customer: “But wouldn’t you get in trouble for disturbing a peace officer for doing something like that?”

Me: “Sir, $9 an hour isn’t worth my life. If you’re trying to tell me you have a gun, I’ll call the police and radio my manager this instant.”

Customer: *lifting his shirt to show me he’s unarmed* “I’m not armed! Jeez, you’re such a kill-joy!”

(He leaves.)

Me: “Who the h*** thinks it’s funny to joke about having a gun in the wake of several real-life shootings?”

Coworker: “He’s the second one this week.”

(Seriously, don’t do this. It’s disturbing and freaks us out.)

Oh, You’re Asking For It All Right

| NY, USA | Food & Drink

(The customer walks up to me, and seems completely uninterested and distracted, barely making eye contact.)

Customer: “I want the all-you-can-eat popcorn.”

Me: “We do have a large popcorn offer that comes with one free refill. We unfortunately do not offer an all-you-can-eat popcorn option.”

Customer: *barely paying attention* “So you’re trying to tell me the large gets refills, right?”

Me: “The large gets one free refill.”

Customer: “Okay, so I’ll take one of those, you know, the large, all-you-can-eat popcorn.”

Me: “All right, that’s one large popcorn… but just to be clear, it only comes with one refill, okay?”

Customer: *still not even looking at me* “That’s fine.”

(I give her the popcorn and ring her out. About half an hour later, she gets her refill. 20 minutes later, she comes back out again.)

Customer: *not even looking in my direction while thrusting her bag towards me* “Refill.”

Me: “All right, but just so you know, I’ll have to charge you since the larges only come with one free refill.”

Customer: “Whatever.”

(I get her refill.)

Me: “That will be [price].”

Customer: *turning towards me suddenly, angry* “But this is an all-you-can-eat popcorn.”

Me: “We don’t offer an all-you-can-eat popcorn.”

Customer: “But you told me this was an all-you-can-eat popcorn!”

Me: “Actually, I told you repeatedly that our large popcorns only come with one refill.”

Customer: “But I asked for an all-you-can-eat popcorn!”

Me: “Ma’am, we really don’t offer an all-you-can-eat popcorn and I made sure to explain that.”

Customer: “BUT I ASKED FOR ONE!”

Me: “I understand; however, we don’t offer an all-you-can-eat popcorn option.”

Customer: “BUT I WANTED AN ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT POPCORN!”

(Knowing where this is going, I just give up.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’ll give you this one last refill for free, but you’ll have to pay for any other refills. I really shouldn’t make exceptions like this, but I’ll let it slide if there was some confusion earlier.”

Customer: *storming away* “This is terrible customer service! You’re supposed to give the customer what they ask for!”

(Considering earlier this same day a 40-something man and his wife had made fun of me for being fat to my face and I got screamed at by at least a half-dozen people over prices I have no control over, it took every ounce of patience not to flip my lid.)

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