A Disservice To Service Dogs

| Niagara, ON, Canada | Working | July 29, 2016

(I have a service dog, for psychiatric reasons. I’m not blind, though most people seem to think eye-seeing dogs are the only service dogs out there. Thus, my life gets harder sometimes… Like while on vacation…)

Me: *with my dog by my side* “Hi, checking in for [Last Name]…”

Motel Guy: “NO DOGS! NO PETS ALLOWED!”

Me: “Well, she’s not a pet…”

Motel Guy: “NO PETS!” *yells something in a language I don’t understand to a woman in a back room*

Motel Lady: “Hi, yes, no pets here!”

Me: “She’s a service dog… We prepaid…”

(I starting to have a panic attack come on, but I try to keep it together.)

Motel Guy: “I’ll call the booking company…”

(I text my husband who is outside in the car with the baby, and ask if he can switch spots with me. Unfortunately the baby is crying and so he took him for a ride around the block.)

Motel Guy: “They say I need to let you stay. So the fee, for staying… plus a $300 deposit…”

Me: “What? We pre-paid, online…”

(At this point my husband pulls back up to the office.)

Me: “I’ll let my husband talk to you…”

(The next part, I am not present for; I run back to the car with my dog in tow, wishing I could hide under a table.)

Husband: “Would you refuse a wheelchair to someone that needed one? Because she NEEDS her dog. You can’t charge a FEE to someone who needs a fridge to store their medication, can you?”

Motel Guy: “I will make it only a $50 deposit…”

Husband: “No. I’ll be calling the booking site to cancel this, and if you manage to weasel a CENT out of us, we’ll sue.”

(Not only did the booking site refund us, but they gave us a credit, AND found us a nicer hotel for the same cost we had put up for that place, on a busy weekend. Sometimes, the good guys DO win!)

The Mother Of All Screams

| USA | Working | January 27, 2016

(I’m new, on my first week, training with a manager. So far, everything has been going very well. The phone rings and my manager gestures me to pick it up.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Motel]. This is [My Name]. How may I assist you?”

Old Lady: “Gimme [Manager].”

Manager: *mouths* “Who is it?”

Me: “Who is it?”

(The old lady pauses, then angrily screams Tarzan-like. It’s sounds like ‘EHAHHHEHHHHHAHHHH!’. It is earsplitting, and I have to hold the phone away.)

Me: “I’m… sorry? I don’t understand—”

(The old lady continues screaming it without taking a breath. Worried that she might be having a seizure, I look at my manager. She takes the phone and says hello but the old lady hangs up.)

Me: *bug eyed* “Wuh, what was that all about?”

Manager: *matter of fact* “My mom. She hates when you ask who she is. You should have said that I asked who it is.” *ignores my shock*

Me: “Riiight…”

(Thankfully the old lady didn’t call back ever again. I switched jobs soon after, and the same thing happened at my new job! Wow.)

A Tender Relationship

| Junction City, KS, USA | Related | January 29, 2012

(My fiancée and I have started courting long distance. She makes the trip to come see me while I am living 1,000 miles away from her home. Fearful that I might be some kind of axe-wielding psychopath, she is instructed to call home every day. She calls home and gets her brother.)

Fiancée: “I’m okay. He’s as great as he was when we met online.”

Me: *calling out so I can be heard through her phone* “Unfortunately, she’s proving to be axe-proof!”

Fiancée: *laughing* “I’m gonna kill him. He says I’m ‘axe-proof.’ Wait, what? Oh, nice!”

Me: “What? What happened?”

Fiancée: “My brother says you need to soak me in warm water for about an hour to soften me up.”

There’s A Vacancy In Your Head

| Bristol, VA, USA | Right | October 17, 2011

Customer: “Do you have any room?”

Me: “Nope, we’re sold out.”

Customer: “Is that what the ‘No Vacancy’ sign means?”

Me: “Why yes…yes it is.”

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