AdSense Versus No Sense

, , , , , , , | Working | March 13, 2018

A couple years ago, I was tasked with buying advertising space through Google to promote our company’s video-on-demand service. However, after a few days, our ads were suspended, because we had to submit proof that we had the rights to use some intellectual property that belonged to movie studios; our ads featured lots of popular film characters. I told my boss what happened, and suggested we go ahead and get in touch with our contacts at the studios as soon as we could to obtain written proof that we could use the characters, My boss was having none of it. The way he saw it, Google was screwing us over, and my job was to get them to immediately reverse their policy-based decision and run our ads.

Unsurprisingly, I was not successful in doing so, although I had a very productive call with Google. They gave me further information and guidelines about their policy, and told me how to get the situation sorted out as quickly as possible. I told my boss about it, but he said that surely I wasn’t insistent enough, and called me into his office to show me “how it’s done.”

Cue the most cringe-worthy moment of my life, during which I sat in front of my boss while he called the reception desk at Google headquarters and (unsuccessfully) harassed the receptionist for 20 minutes, asking to be put through to Larry Page. When he finally gave up, he just told me to do whatever it takes to get the ads up and running as soon as possible, at which point I just followed Google’s guidelines as instructed. Wouldn’t you know it, the ads were up and running less than a day later.

This was one of many crazy things that happened at that company during the time I worked there. They were a very small outfit, yet they always expected to be treated like one of the giants out there — and spent money they didn’t have, accordingly. I smelled disaster coming and quit just a few months after this, and they went bankrupt less than a year later.

Unfiltered Story #105871

, , , | Unfiltered | February 16, 2018

(My father and I went out for lunch one day at a popular Canadian coffee chain. After sitting down to eat and unwrapping my sandwich I discovered a slight error and went up to the register to have it corrected.)

Me: “Hi, I ordered a turkey club, but this has no turkey in it.”

(The poor cashier had a look of complete confusion, but they were nice enough to correct their error. It ended up being a really good sandwich, especially with the turkey in it!)

Just Got Owned And The Owner Isn’t Even Here

, , , , , | Right | February 13, 2018

(I work in a hotel.)

Guest: “Come on. You can give me a better rate than that! I know [Owner].”

Me: *feigning glee* “Heeeyyy! Me, too!”

Guest: “Hmm… No. I mean, I know him! Personally!”

Me: “ME, TOO! I was just at the BBQ bash he gave for his best friends, associates, and business partners. How come I didn’t see you there?”

Guest: *gives up and accepts the standard rate*

Giving Them Room For Doubt

, , , , | Right | February 12, 2018

(A man calls in and asks to be transferred to a guest’s room, which I oblige since he has the name of the guest. Ten minutes or so later, I recognize the same man’s voice, calling for the same room, and I transfer him again. Finally, he calls for a third time not a minute later.)

Caller: “I want to talk to [Guest].”

Me: “Okay, sir. I’ll transfer you…”

Caller: “No, no one is answering.”

Me: “Maybe he is out of his room.”

Caller: “What do you mean, he is out of his room? Did you see him?”

Me: “No, I did not see him, but—”

Caller: “He just checked in a few minutes ago.”

Me: “Maybe he decided to go to a restaurant, or to the bar, or just out for fresh air?”

Caller: *pause* “People do that?”

Locked Himself Out Of His Own Understanding

, , , , , | Right | February 7, 2018

(I work in a large complex. Two buildings are the hotel, where we sell rooms per night, but three buildings are for monthly rental, like apartments. In both cases, people check in at the hotel’s front desk. One day, an older man comes in wanting to visit a room to rent for the month. I make him a magnetic swipe key for one of the rooms so that he may go visit it. A good ten minutes later, he comes back, looking rather flustered.)

Guest: “There is no lock to put the key in!”

Me:  “What do you mean, there is no lock?”

Guest: “Just that: there is no lock in the door! There is one on the building door, which I swiped, and it worked, but on the room door there is nothing in the door to swipe the key.”

(I recall that our maintenance staff have been having issues with the locks lately, are waiting for new ones to be delivered, and have been taking locks from currently unavailable rooms and putting them on available ones so that those rooms may still be sold. I think perhaps they have taken the lock from this particular room and forgotten to alert the front desk. I apologize to the man and offer to let him visit another room, in the same building.)

Guest: “Well, is it going to work this time, or am I only going there for nothing again?”

Me: *thinking there is no way maintenance could have forgotten twice to block a room* “There should be no problem.”

(I make him a key and let him go, but he returns in less than two minutes and starts yelling at me.)

Guest: “What the f*** are you doing to me? Are you having fun with me?”

Me: “No, sir. What—”

Guest: “There is nowhere to put the key in that one, either! You take those two rooms off your list, now! Who’s your manager? I want to see him, now!”

(I explain that my manager is going to be here later tonight, and the man storms off, promising to come back. Puzzled by what the man seemed so adamant about, I call my houseman to check the two rooms to see what is going on. He comes back to me and says he got in, no problem, and that there is nothing wrong with the locks to the room. He doesn’t understand why the man said there wasn’t a lock. He stops to think one second and says:)

Houseman: “Well… it’s a different model of lock than the one on the building’s door.”

Me: “How so?”

Houseman: “Well, most of our locks are like the one on the building’s door, which requires the key card to be held at a perpendicular angle from the door, with only the magnetic stripe sliding through. The model on those rooms, though, is the one for which you have to hold the key flat against the door lock and slide the whole card down into the slit.”

(I instantly recalled what he was talking about, as I have naturally seen them myself, but I couldn’t believe anyone couldn’t figure out how to put the key in them. When I retold the story to my manager, when he came in, he laughed so hard he said it would be a pleasure to point the man’s lack of intelligence to him should he come back to see him. He never did, unfortunately.)

Page 3/612345...Last
« Previous
Next »