Totally Overwatch

, , , , | Right | May 15, 2018

(I work in a call center for a company that sells protection plans online. When it comes to watches, we will repair the watch if it is over a certain price, and if it’s a cheap watch, we only issue a check to reimburse it. Keep in mind we only cover mechanical failures coming from the dial; we don’t cover water damage or drops.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name]. How may I assist you?”

Customer: “Hi, I want to file a claim on a watch.”

Me: “No problem. I’ll be glad to help you with that. May I have your information so I may access your file?”

(She gives me her information, and I ask her for the price of her watch.)

Customer: “$3.78.”

Me: *pause* “You’re filing a claim for a $3.78 watch?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “Okay, what exactly is the issue with the watch?”

Customer: “I wore it in the shower and it stopped working.”

Me: *pause* “Is it waterproof?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “I’m sorry, miss, but I will have to deny your claim due to accidental damage handling.”

Customer: “Oh, well, this is stupid.” *hangs up*

(Even if we had taken her claim, the shipping label we would have sent to her would have cost more than her watch.)

How Can I Not Help You Today?

, , , , | Right | April 30, 2018

(I am working at a fast food restaurant one busy night. I get this call.)

Me: “This is [Store]. Bonjour, hello!”

Customer: “Hi, is this the store at [Location]?”

Me: “Yes, that would be us. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I just wanted to know if you changed your recipe.”

Me: “Um, no, not that I’m aware of.”

Customer: “Well, then what the f*** is wrong with my food? It tastes like gasoline!”

Me: “Gasoline? That can’t be right. Maybe the deep fryer oil has burnt; I will go check that right away.”

Customer: “Yeah, it tastes burnt! You guys have to clean your oil and make sure you don’t burn anything!”

Me: “Okay, thank you for bringing this to our attention. I’m very sorry this has ruined your meal; could I offer you a credit for the next visit?”

Customer: “Yeah, well, whatever. I know you won’t f****** do anything for me, anyway.”

(Confused, maybe she didn’t hear me.)

Me: “Well ma’am, I could take down your information and log you for a credit for your next visit.”

Customer: “Yeah, yeah, I know you won’t do anything. I just want to make sure other families don’t have such a disgusting, disappointing meal as mine did!”

Me: “Again. I am very sorry that this happened, and I thank you again for letting me—”

Customer: “Yeah, whatever. You don’t do anything for me.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, as I said before, I could take down your information and write you a credit.”

(At this point, this back-and-forth has gone on for a good five minutes. I have the credit book open and ready, date and time checked in already, and a line up front with angry customers waiting for their food. We are always understaffed, so I really can’t be on the phone.)

Customer: “You won’t do anything for me! *hangs up*

Me: “I offered her free food, like, ten times.”


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Unfiltered Story #109614

, , | Unfiltered | April 28, 2018

My boyfriend and I like to make midnight runs to the corner store for junk food when I don’t work the next day. We’ll snack like pigs and watch videos or play games together. We seem to always go when this one particular guy is working, so he’s used to seeing us. My boyfriend’s pretty agoraphobic, so having someone he knows helps him a lot. We went to a popular coffee shop the other night around 2am, and loband behold, convenience store guy is there! My boyfriend and I chat with him while me makes our sandwiches and coffees, and while he’s doing that I judge my boyfriend over to the tray.

Me: *whispers* I’m not crazy, I only asked for two doughnuts right?

Boyfriend: Yeah, no, we only asked for two…

We didn’t mention anything but The Guy gave us a knowing nod. We’re going back there later tonight, so if I see him I’ll make sure to leave him a pretty decent tip!

AdSense Versus No Sense

, , , , , , , | Working | March 13, 2018

A couple years ago, I was tasked with buying advertising space through Google to promote our company’s video-on-demand service. However, after a few days, our ads were suspended, because we had to submit proof that we had the rights to use some intellectual property that belonged to movie studios; our ads featured lots of popular film characters. I told my boss what happened, and suggested we go ahead and get in touch with our contacts at the studios as soon as we could to obtain written proof that we could use the characters, My boss was having none of it. The way he saw it, Google was screwing us over, and my job was to get them to immediately reverse their policy-based decision and run our ads.

Unsurprisingly, I was not successful in doing so, although I had a very productive call with Google. They gave me further information and guidelines about their policy, and told me how to get the situation sorted out as quickly as possible. I told my boss about it, but he said that surely I wasn’t insistent enough, and called me into his office to show me “how it’s done.”

Cue the most cringe-worthy moment of my life, during which I sat in front of my boss while he called the reception desk at Google headquarters and (unsuccessfully) harassed the receptionist for 20 minutes, asking to be put through to Larry Page. When he finally gave up, he just told me to do whatever it takes to get the ads up and running as soon as possible, at which point I just followed Google’s guidelines as instructed. Wouldn’t you know it, the ads were up and running less than a day later.

This was one of many crazy things that happened at that company during the time I worked there. They were a very small outfit, yet they always expected to be treated like one of the giants out there — and spent money they didn’t have, accordingly. I smelled disaster coming and quit just a few months after this, and they went bankrupt less than a year later.

Unfiltered Story #105871

, , , | Unfiltered | February 16, 2018

(My father and I went out for lunch one day at a popular Canadian coffee chain. After sitting down to eat and unwrapping my sandwich I discovered a slight error and went up to the register to have it corrected.)

Me: “Hi, I ordered a turkey club, but this has no turkey in it.”

(The poor cashier had a look of complete confusion, but they were nice enough to correct their error. It ended up being a really good sandwich, especially with the turkey in it!)

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