Restroom Leads To Arrest Rooms

, , , , , , | | Right | June 12, 2018

(Our store’s bathrooms are closed for renovations. However, one of our neighboring stores has allowed our customers to use their restrooms until we are finished. One day, I notice a customer trying to get into our bathrooms, despite signs clearly explaining our current situation.)

Customer: “Why the hell are your bathrooms locked?! I need to take a p**s!”

(I am a bit irritated at her sudden anger, but I try my best to remain calm and polite.)

Me: “Our restrooms are currently being renovated. However, [Store next to us] is allowing our customers to use their restroom.”

Customer: “F*** you! I need to p**s! I’m not walking all the way over there!”

Me: “Ma’am, our bathrooms are being renovated. They do not even have sinks yet. We would be happy to hold your items at the front while you go next door. It is not a very long walk.”

(We argue back and forth for several minutes. I even show her the bathrooms in an attempt to prove my point. After nearly five minutes, I manage to calm her down a bit.)

Me: “Would you like me to hold your stuff at the front?”

Customer: “No. I want to finish shopping first. I’m already over here.”

(She ended up taking some clothes into the dressing room to try a few items on. However, after a minute or two, I saw liquid leaking from under the curtain. Since there was only a curtain, not a locking door, I checked on her just to be sure. Upon opening the curtain, I was greeted by a horrible sight. She had taken off her pants and was squatting over a pile of clothes, including some of our most expensive items, and relieving herself, both #1 and #2. Even after I opened the curtain, she continued peeing at full force for nearly a minute. I was only able to stand there in disgust and horror. Upon finishing, she stood up, wiped herself with yet another article of clothing, and pulled up her pants, all while maintaining eye contact with me. I managed to call security before she left, and she ended up paying for the damage and being banned from our store, but not before she blamed our store for what had happened.)

There… Are… Four… Rolls!

, , , , , | Right | March 30, 2018

(I am working as a cashier. A customer produces a coupon for eight or more rolls of bath tissue. He then hands me a package of four “Mega Rolls,” which say, “4 Mega Rolls = 8 normal rolls!”)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but you don’t have enough product for this coupon to work. I apologize, but if you want and go grab another one of these—” *I gesture to the bath tissue* “—then the coupon will work just fine.”

Customer: “But it says that this counts as eight!”

Me: “Yes, sir, it does, but there are only four rolls in the package and that is what it will count as: four rolls, only. You will have to get another package of four rolls or more for you to use this coupon.”

Customer: “BUT IT SAYS EIGHT ROLLS! Get your manager or someone who is good at math, because it is clear you are too stupid to understand simple math!”

(I turn around and happily call out to my manager, who happens to HATE rude and stupid customers who don’t read the fine print. She comes over to see what the problem is and I explain the issue.)

Manager: “I’m sorry sir, but you will need to get at least another one of these packages to use this coupon. The coupon is stating the number of physical bath tissue rolls inside the package, not how many rolls it will replace when you use them. Do you have any other inquiries?”

Customer: “But it says EIGHT rolls, so I have enough to use this coupon.” *throws up hands and almost shouts* “Geez, do they even hire competent people anymore?! IT SAYS EIGHT, SO I HAVE EIGHT!”

(My manager just walks away, knowing that I can take care of it.)

Me: “Sir, it could say it that the four rolls equal eight, twelve, twenty-four, or three million rolls; that won’t change the fact that you only have four physical rolls. You must get another four rolls to make this work.”

(I pick up the package and point out the four rolls inside the package.)

Customer: “But it says—”

Me: *interrupting* “Sir, can you tell me how many physical rolls are in this package?”

Customer: “Uh…”

Me: “How many physical rolls?

(He stares at me for about 30 seconds and then says:)

Customer: “Eight.”

(This conversation has made me close down my lane, so no one will have to wait, and this response makes me want to slap this man so, so hard. I’ve even had a slight muscle spasm in my right hand. This part of the conversation repeats for about another two minutes:)

Me: “Sir, if you see eight physical rolls, you might need stronger glasses. To help you a bit, there are only four rolls!

Customer: “Fine, if you are to stick to telling me this won’t work without another of those stupid packages, I guess I don’t need any of my stuff.”

Me: “Okay! I will take all of these items back. Have a wonderful day, sir.”

(The manager returned with a donut from the bakery and wordlessly handed it to me, then took the stuff from my belt and walked away.)