A mother and her two young children are shopping for toys. The little girl has already made her selection and is waiting by the counter for her younger brother to pick something when she strikes up a conversation.

Little Girl: *Dramatically* “I’m soooo sorry about this. He’s having trouble picking a toy. We’ve got to make sure he picks the right toy, but…” *sigh* “…he’s new at this.”

Me: “That’s okay; you guys have got plenty of time to find what you want.”

Little Girl: “He has to learn not to pick big toys; my mom says that’s really important. Otherwise, he’ll think too much about them and start to turn into them!”

Me: “Oh! Well, that wouldn’t be good!”

Little Girl: “I know. That’s why I’m not allowed to have a horse until I’m older, because while I’m little, a horse is too big, so if I get a horse, it’s too much for my brain to handle, and I’ll turn into a horse person and have to sleep in a barn! But I can still get little horse toys because I’m bigger than they are, and my little brother can get little dinosaur toys, as well.”

Me: *Trying not to chuckle* “I’m glad you were able to find one, then. And don’t worry; we have plenty of little dinosaur toys.”

Little Girl: “Good! Because if he thinks too much about dinosaurs at his young age, he’ll turn into a dinosaur-brother, and not just a dinosaur-brother, but a vampire-dinosaur-brother!”

Me: “Ooh, that’d be really scary!”

Little Girl: “Yes. And I don’t want a vampire-dinosaur-brother! Because in the middle of the night I’ll hear this…”

The little girl proceeds to dramatically act out what a person changing into vampire-dinosaur-brother would be like, complete with hissing, roars, and bodily spasms. Her mother and brother now approach the counter. The mother has clearly overheard the whole conversation and looks a little embarrassed.

Me: “Did we find one that won’t turn anyone into a vampire-dinosaur?”

Kids’ Mother: “Yes, finally!”

Little Girl: “Are you surrrrre?”

Me: “Well, if it doesn’t work out, you’ll have the receipt in case you need to return it.”

Little Girl: “Good!”

She snatches the receipt and hands it to her mother.

Little Girl: “Hang on to that!”

Thus far, I haven’t seen any reports of a vampire-dinosaur terrorizing the city, so it looks like their mother made the right call!

My roommate and I want to go out for ice cream, so we decide to go to a famous soft-serve ice cream chain. They also sell burgers and other hot food. We come upon the drive-thru; there are a few cars in front, and we think nothing of it. Another car pulls up behind me so there is no getting out at this point.

Then, it all starts going downhill. Several minutes pass; not a single car has budged. We have nowhere to go so we are trying to be patient. Ten minutes pass. Still no moving; we haven’t even gotten to the menu screen. After another five minutes, we move forward, but we’re still not able to order. More minutes pass. I’m already impatient at this point, and so is my roommate. We finally get up to the intercom and we are told to wait, so we read the menu. After about five more minutes they finally ask for what we’d like.

We just want simple cones. We are told the ice cream machine is “broken down” and has been for two weeks. No sign on the drive-thru menu states it, but they can’t do ice cream at any capacity — one of their specialty shakes, cones, or any ice cream item whatsoever. Fed up at this point, we just tell them we want nothing.

We have to sit in the drive-thru another fifteen minutes just to get out. 

Their Google, Yelp, and Facebook are flooded with complaints about the annoyingly slow service and poor management.

I work graveyard shift for a statewide chain of convenience stores/truck stops that has an affiliation with a much larger national chain. This larger chain has a rewards program that includes a free shower for every set number of gallons of fuel purchased, and we are able to redeem the showers which are automatically loaded onto the customer’s loyalty card when they pay for the fuel.

Customer: “I would like a shower.”

He hands over his card to be swiped. After swiping the card:

Me: “I am sorry, sir, but you have no showers left on your card.”

Customer: “That is not possible. I fueled in [Other City With National Chain] and had one shower on the card.”

Me: “Sir, our system shows that there are no showers left on the card. Did you use the shower when you fueled at [Prior Location]?”

Customer: “No. I have one shower on the card. I will get the receipt.”

He runs off and comes back a few minutes later with a receipt printed from the national chain’s kiosk. This kiosk can provide receipts up to a week back.

Me: “Sir, have you fueled since four days ago?”

Customer: “No. It says here I have one shower, so give me my shower.”

At this point, one of the assistant managers has come in and overhears the conversation.

Assistant Manager: “Sir, this receipt is from four days ago. You have nothing to prove that you have not redeemed the shower in that time, and our system, which is tied in with [National Chain]’s system, says that there are no showers on your card. If you believe that this is wrong, then call the customer support number on the back of the card, but we can do nothing for you.”

Customer: “No! It says right here!” *Points at the receipt* “I have one shower. I just printed this receipt from the kiosk!”

Assistant Manager: “This receipt is also from four days ago. It shows what you had then but not what you have now.”

The conversation continues like this for several more minutes until the customer finally relents and calls the service number.

Me: “I’m not sure which is worse: him trying to get a free shower, or if he was not lying, him not showering for four days.”

I work in a hotel. We have a cold snap in August and a pipe bursts in our laundry room. Almost all of our clean laundry is now sopping wet, I have just taken a “shower” fully clothed to turn the water off, and the water has reached several rooms.

Of course, this happens around 2:00 am. Our manager and the restoration company are already there by 2:30 am and pumping the water out and drying the carpet in the hall. We start calling rooms by the laundry room to let them know and to let them know that we will be comping their rooms.

Most people are annoyed but understanding — thank you to those that are very sweet to me! Then, there is this guest…

Guest: “Well, this was not a very convenient time for this to happen!”

The guest is completely serious and snappy, but I am polite.

Me: “I understand, ma’am. We’ve comped your room. The manager would also like to offer you a free night at a later date. Do you need any help with any luggage? Was it damaged at all?”

Guest: “No! But still, this was very inconvenient!”

Me: *Thinking* “Sorry, next time we will schedule our floods better.”

Related:
A Flood Of Complaints

I am a manager.

Customer #1: “Hi, I’d like to order two bacon ranch salads, with ranch dressing, and one more ranch dressing on the side.”

Me: “All right, just to let you know, I’ll have to charge forty cents for that extra ranch dressing, as is our policy. Is that all right?”

Customer #1: “Yes.”

The customer hands me a $20 bill. I give back $9.60 in change. Another customer gets up and comes over to me looking really angry.

Customer #2: “What the h*** is this? I gave him a $20 to give back to you, and he should have gotten $10 back! Why did you only give him $9.60?!”

Me: “Our policy is for us to charge for any extra dressing. I was told a total of three ranch dressings; is that incorrect?”

Customer #2: “No! I have never been charged for an extra dressing in my life!”

Being that all of the branches in our city are owned by the same person and have the same policy, I know he is lying.

Me: “I am sorry, sir, but I am required to follow our policy. Our policy is—”

Customer #2: “I don’t care what your stupid policy says. I have never been charged for it. Forget it. Give me a refund; I’ll take my business elsewhere.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, sir. I can give you a refund for the forty cents this one time, but after that, I can no longer do it as it is our policy.”

Customer #2: “That’s fine.”

I run a refund and give him a quarter, dime, and nickel back.

Customer #2: “No. I don’t want all these different bills. Just give me a full refund.”

Me: “If you give me the change I have already handed back, I can exchange it for a $10 bill.”

Customer #2: *Hesitates* “All right. That’s fine. But make it to go now. I don’t want to stay in this restaurant.”

Me: “Of course, sir, and I am very sorry about the inconvenience.”