On Monday, June 13th, I receive an email from [Vice President #1], who isn’t over my department. I am told that my team will be required to work on the Fourth of July. I politely tell her no; our team has been scheduled this day off and people already have plans. My team is the IT team, and the IT team gets shafted every time it can get shafted by any company.
Over the course of the week, I let my team know what is happening and that I have been reaching out to higher-ups to fix it. I also tell them that if their plans are ruined, I will make it right at work.
Over the course of three meetings, it starts to look like things will not go my way. In response, I send an email to the CEO of the company. All of my higher-ups know I intend to do this, and they say I should do it as he is very family-oriented and would not allow ANYONE to work on a national holiday.
Well, he is on vacation in the Bahamas until July sixth. But his assistant informs me that he will look at this after he gets back. I feel like repeatedly slamming my head into my desk.
I tell everyone that the holiday will be work-from-home and that we will be setting my cell phone as priority in the call routing, meaning I will get most of the calls. To be honest, I am expecting almost zero calls, especially since I was asked to send out a notification that IT support would cover the Fourth of July, and I never sent that email out.
A day later, I am given another outrage. I am told in an email from [Vice President #1] that my employees will be required to be at the office, and no one is allowed to work from home. They will be checking the door badge-ins to verify that we are at the office. I ask why in an email, and [Vice President #1] says that she wants to make sure no one is playing video games on the clock. We normally work from home about two-thirds of the week, and video game playing is a normal occurrence on the clock.
So, I walk into [Vice President #1]’s office. After a very long conversation where she is losing the logic war with me, she says:
Vice President #1: “It’s just IT; you guys don’t have lives.”
No, I am not kidding you; this is exactly what she tells me.
I report this to the vice president in charge of my department, [Vice President #2].
Vice President #2: “I will take care of this. It likely won’t be until after the fourth, so get creative.”
I know this man well. We have worked together a long time, and “Get creative” is code for corporate f***ery, so I go back to [Vice President #1].
Me: “Do you care if we have an office party?”
Vice President #1: “No, as long as it doesn’t interfere with the call flow.”
She even suggests using my new company card to pay for it, telling me, “Go wild.” Pro-tip: never tell me to go wild.
At this point, it is Tuesday, the 21st. I let everyone know what’s up, but I let them know that I have something planned. I ask who has or had plans for the holiday. Two people tell me they are planning to shoot off fireworks with their family, and the rest are planning BBQs with friends.
I write up an email to [Vice President #1] and [Vice President #2]. I tell them all that I’ve let everyone know that we are all expected to work until 8:00 pm on Monday, the fourth. Per the conversation with [Vice President #1], I will be having an office party as a sort of sorry to the guys and gals who got shafted by this decision.
[Vice President #1] replies.
Vice President #1: “Thank you for your understanding. Also yes, I would expect an office party if I had to work on the Fourth of July, as well, so go wild and enjoy your time. Use your new company credit card if you need to cover a few expenses. Also, I should not have to remind you or anyone else: no fireworks or alcohol on company property.”
Now, it is time to tell you about my office. A while back, the IT team was moved from the main corporate office into a smaller building by itself. It has a nice gaming break room, a decent-sized gym, and a full-on drink bar — soft drinks, mind you, no alcohol at work. Out back is a big patio that crosses county lines as soon as you cross a small creek — a creek that just so happens to have a footbridge over it leading to an empty field.
I start making phone calls.
On Monday, June 27th, I call up everyone into a meeting an hour before work starts. I explain to them all that I will be making things right. I ask everyone to invite their friends and family to the office. No supplies need to be brought by anyone. I tell them all that this will be a non-alcoholic party but that I will be planning something for everyone. I tell them to expect all food to be provided, and they don’t need to bring anything unless they want to bring some fireworks. They won’t have to spend a dime.
The Fourth of July comes, and the entire day, we do absolutely no work. No tickets and no calls come in. Well, seven calls do come in, but they’re all from the same person [Vice President #1]. She is calling to make sure we are manning the phones. All of us are playing video games or watching movies.
Six o’clock rolls around, and everyone is told that the food was ready.
People are expecting hot dogs, hamburgers, and maybe a bratwurst or two. What they get is a full-on BBQ feast with pizza and other foods. We have smoked brisket, spare ribs, smoked sausage, smoked turkey, both kinds of potato salad, coleslaw, green beans with bacon and onion, potatoes au gratin, pizza from two different places, excellent hamburgers, and bratwurst hot dogs. On the dessert side, we have cake, very good cookies, four different kinds of pies, and about two pounds of fudge.
Families and friends start showing up between 6:00 and 6:15ish. Some have brought alcohol, but I tell them they need to leave that in their cars as I am not THAT crazy. Some are not too happy about that but agree as it is a free dinner for random strangers.
So, let me set the scene for you. I am out there with all calls routed to my cell phone, and everyone is just having a good time. We have a TON of people there enjoying the fun night, chatting about random stuff, eating the food, and occasionally lighting off some sparklers or throwing firecrackers into the stream. (It’s not stocked with fish and is only a foot deep.)
[Vice President #2] shows up with his family and brings some water balloons for the kids… and the adults.
Around 8:30ish, it’s getting dark, and people want to shoot off more than the simple sparklers and firecrackers we have been using. [Vice President #2] has everyone cross the footbridge — over the county line and off company property — and we set up a big wooden board to use as our launch pad.
We fire off what we have for an hour or two and sort of just hang out for a little while. At around this time, people are tired and ready to head home. I tell people to take home leftovers, within reason. We all clocked out at 8:00, and no one leaves until about 10:30.
[Vice President #1] does call once more while we are out back at the party. It is 7:50 and she calls asking for a status update. My exact words are:
Me: “Well, you were the only one to call us today. The rest of us are on the back patio enjoying the Fourth of July shindig.”
She simply acts like my boss and says:
Vice President #1: “As long as no alcohol or fireworks are on company property, I do not care.”
We ate roughly half of the food catered; the rest was taken home. A small group volunteered to stay behind to clean up, including [Vice President #2]. We had a funny conversation about how this would make waves with the bosses, but he said he had my back and asked me how much this had cost. I just gave him a sideways look, which made him laugh.
On Tuesday morning, I submitted the expense report to [Vice President #2]. This email would inevitably make its way over to [Vice President #1] and up the chain to the CIO of the company. This Fourth of July party cost over $6,000, and because of it, new rules were put into place. Any expenses of $4,000 or more must be approved by the direct supervisor and the vice president over the department, and the full expense report must be sent to the finance department for review after the fact.
This was the most expensive office party in the history of the company. The only things more expensive than this were some business meetings for which the CEO rented private rooms in high-end restaurants.
As for the CEO, he was outraged — not at the cost of the party, mind you. He knew that the party would not have been necessary if people had been allowed to go home. He was outraged that IT was the only group required to work that day. When I submitted the logs showing how we received no real phone calls and no service requests and that we basically watched movies and played video games during our shift, he had heard enough. He apparently sent out a scathing email about work-life balance and the importance of our holidays to every upper management employee.
It was kind of funny as people wanted me to get in trouble for what I did, but the reality is that other departments have done similar things in the past, just not on the scale that IT did. [Vice President #1] was admonished quite effectively and sent me an apology email. I forwarded it to the team with a strong hint to not reply.
Then, [Vice President #2] let the CIO and the CEO know about what [Vice President #1] had said — “You guys don’t have lives.” [Vice President #1] did actually confirm that she’d said it in a meeting. It did not go over well. I have never heard people yelling in an office meeting like that before. The CEO of the company came to our office and YELLED at her.
I’m not sure if she was fired as of writing this on July 6th, but she was not at work today. I’m not 100% sure what happened to her, but I know she lost whatever clout she had at this company with her attitude.
And strangely, there is now no longer any pushback for my bid to get everyone back to working from home.
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