No Such Thing As A Free Lunch

, , , , , | Right | June 27, 2017

(I work in a restaurant where you can have unlimited free salad with every main course. You can also purchase just salad on its own. This occurs one afternoon after a man comes to the bar, orders one starter, and helps himself to no less than six bowls of salad. When it’s clear he’s not going to order a main, I go over to him.)

Me: “Hello there, would you like to order your main course now?”

Customer: *looks angrily at me* “No, I don’t want a main.”

Me: “I’m afraid our unlimited salad bar is only free with every main course, so you will have to order a main or pay for the salad.”

Customer: “I can’t believe this; I’m not paying for salad. It says it’s free.”

Me: “Well, it is free with every main meal, so you need to order a main course. Let me get you a menu.”

(I walk off to get him a menu and to let the manager know what’s happening. He’s pretty blunt when talking to me but always supports us. He sees the guy on the camera and loiters by my till as the guy is pretty big and rather aggressive in his tone. When I go back to him, he is still there and standing near the till.)

Me: “Have you decided on your main?”

Customer: *mumbling complaints* “I can’t believe this; this is ridiculous, having to pay for free salad.”

Me: “It’s only free with a main. You can pay just for the salad, which is obviously cheaper.”

Customer: *pays for the salad reluctantly* “I can’t believe this. It’s disgusting! What sort of a place makes you pay for salad?!”

Me: “A restaurant!”

(He stormed out and my boss, who was watching the entire exchange, snorted and disappeared into the office where I later found him crying with laughter. He tried to tell me off but failed miserably.)

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Racking Up The Problems

, , , , | Working | June 26, 2017

(I am working at a chain clothing store. A few times a year, a woman comes in and buys several thousand dollars worth of clothing to sell in her own shop in Lebanon. As our company does not sell overseas, and she spends a lot of money, my manager has no problem with this. I am ringing her up, and having dealt with her before, have brought out an empty rack for her to hang the clothes on, which is now completely full from her purchases.)

Me: *taking clothes off the rack as I ring* “So, looks like you’ve got a good haul this time!”

Customer: “Yes, you had a good selection of dresses this trip. My customers will be very happy!”

(At that moment, I look up and see the district manager coming towards me.)

Me: “Morning, [District Manager]!”

(She smiles, then suddenly frowns at me, clearly displeased with something. She passes me to go to her office in the back, saying nothing. The customer and I look at each other.)

Customer: “Who was that?”

Me: “That was the district manager. She’s usually a lot friendlier than that.”

(It suddenly dawns on me that the District Manager never actually gave us permission to sell clothing to people planning to sell it overseas, and I begin to wonder if I’m in trouble. I also realize I’m out of shopping bags, meaning I have to go into the back to get more, which is right next to her office. I excuse myself and go out back. The District Manager is waiting for me.)

District Manager: “[My Name], I didn’t want to say anything since you were with a customer, but you’ve been here for almost two years. You should really know better.”

Me: “I’m sorry. I thought it was fine. [Manager] has never had a problem with it, and she spends so much money—”

District Manager: “Wait, what?”

Me: “I mean, we don’t have an overseas market, so I figured it wasn’t an issue if she sold them at her own store in Lebanon, since we wouldn’t be competing.”

District Manager: “[My Name], I’m talking about the rack. You know I don’t want you bringing out racks of clothing to put out if there are customers.”

Me: *realizing* “Oh! No, those are my customer’s purchases! I brought out an empty rack for her to put her stuff on, since the first time she came here we ended up with a pile on the counter so big it spilled onto the floor.”

District Manager: *surprised* “She’s buying all that?”

Me: “Yeah. She buys a ton of clothes here to sell at her own shop overseas. I’ve got a few other customers that do the same thing.”

District Manager: “I didn’t know people did that.”

(I go back out and finish ringing up my customer, both of us relieved. After I help take her dozen or so bags to her car, I bring the empty rack into the back and knock on the office door.)

Me: “Finished ringing her up.”

District Manager: “How much did it all come to?”

Me: “With the coupons she had, roughly $2,700.”

District Manager: “Yeah, you’re getting a commendation for that sale. And if corporate has a problem with it, it’s their own fault leaving an untapped market. Just don’t bring any more clothing racks out.”

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What A Counter-Feat!

, , , , | Right | June 26, 2017

Me: “That will be $2.50, sir.”

Customer: “This should cover it.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but you can’t pay with a copies of a dollar bill. They’re not even in color.”

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Can’t Be Free From The Free Gift

, , | Right | June 26, 2017

(I take calls for a popular clothing line. The clothing line is popular but cheap and offers many discounts. Around the holidays they offer a free gift with purchase.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. My name is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “I placed an order and qualified to receive the free gift, but I didn’t get it. It’s not on my order.”

Me: “I’m really sorry to hear that. Let me pull up your order and take a look at what’s going on.”

(I pull up the customer’s order and notice they placed an order after the “while supplies last, free gift with purchase” went out of stock.)

Me: “It looks like you placed the order at nine pm. We went out of stock at five pm. I’m sorry, but unfortunately we were out of stock when you placed the order.”

Customer: “I want my free gift. If you advertise a free gift, I should get it.”

Me: “I understand your frustration. Unfortunately, it was ‘while supplies last’ and we ran out before you placed your order.”

Customer: “Well, then, I want to be refunded for it. It isn’t fair that I’m not getting it.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I am unable to refund for a free gift.”

Customer: “No, I paid the amount to receive it. I should be refunded for the price of the item.”

Me: “…”

(I don’t know why people think that they are entitled to things and I don’t know how they expect to be credited back for something that was free. “Yeah, sure, I’ll refund you 0.00 dollars.”)

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Things Are Looking Up

, , , , | Working | June 24, 2017

(For several months, my wife and I have been fighting with a well-known cable TV provider over our bill. They have been attempting to raise our prices every month and every month my wife will call in to dispute it, and every month, they apply just enough credit to not make switching worth the effort. The last increase is almost a $30 jump and needless to say, we’re both pretty fed up. Then this happens when she calls in:)

Wife: “Look, this is the fifth time I’ve called about our monthly cost. Our bill has just jumped from $90 to $120 for no reason. Nothing has changed in the programming, equipment, nothing. There has to be something you can do about this. It’s ridiculous!”

Rep: “Okay. Let’s see what we can do. If I apply [Credit #1] and [Credit #2] and [Deal] and [Promo], I can get your price down to $130 a month.”

Wife: “What? Did you say $130?”

Rep: “I’m sorry. That’s the best I can do right now.”

Wife: “That’s $10 more than the bill I’m calling to complain about!”

Rep: “Well, another price increase just went into effect since the last bill, and I don’t have any other promotions I can apply to your account.”

Wife: “So what you’re telling me is that my bill is going to increase again next month regardless of what you do now.”

Rep: “Yes. Have I provided you with excellent service today?”

Wife: “No!”

(Needless to say, later that day we called a competitor, scheduled installation with them, and cancelled our account with the existing provider.)

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